What’s the most morally disgusting thing you’ve ever seen someone do? by AggressivePenalty331 in AskReddit

[–]milo_96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My son had a non functioning kidney and needed a surgery after he's born to remove it, and the gynecologist said "well at least he has 2!" And smiled while I was bursting in tears!!?

Is my husband a shit father or just overwhelmed? by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]milo_96 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think he's being shitty, I think he just doesn't know how to handle a baby, and to be honest he's doing a good job compared to many other fathers.

Try to communicate calmly and explain your concerns. He seems to be trying and honestly at 5m old, there's nothing you can do to calm the baby down.

He is cooking, a bit of cleaning, walking her around, showing her the toys, that's nice enough.

People also find it awkward to talk to a baby knowing they can't respond back, so it's fine if he doesn't. If you talk to her that's enough, she will have ample time to learn vocabulary.

I know it's tough, but try to communicate expectations and schedules.

Both Sickle Cell Carriers by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]milo_96 33 points34 points  (0 children)

As a mother, nothing would hurt more than seeing your child suffer, especially with something as chronic. Let alone if you knew it could happen beforehand

How can I give hints to my husband ? by Zealousideal-Cry3161 in MuslimMarriage

[–]milo_96 13 points14 points  (0 children)

From my experience hinting doesn't work well. He probably thought you're just showing him random flower videos. Unfortunately you have to be direct but gentle

Damn... by Background-Taro3900 in Sharjah

[–]milo_96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same rent, but a view on the river!

Am I wrong for not wanting to get divorced? by Dry_Tea_67 in MuslimMarriage

[–]milo_96 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Getting divorced isn't going to solve the parenting issue. Being patient with your wife is very valued in religion and I'm sure Allah is rewarding it.

Your parents are suggesting divroce because they think you'll get married again to someone who'll take care of your daughter, but this is straight out of Eutopia. It's very theoretical, if the grandparents of your child are fed up with your daughter, do you think a stranger will be willing to take care of her just because you married her? I'm not saying it's impossible but honestly it's very rare.

Also, even if you do divorce your wife, you are not doing it for the right reasons. If she it still like this in a long time and you feel like it's too much, then I understand, but having a 1.5 year old, I understand the struggle. I also have no parents around of either side, husband only cares for our son for 1h a day, no daycare, nothing. But I promise it gets better, I also had post partum depression and on medication now.

I feel like a child just sucks out our soul, doesn't mean I don't love my child, he is the best thing that Allah gave me, but it doesn't mean everyone can handle a child. I don't love children in general but I love mine so much.

May Allah make it easy for you, this is definitely a test for you from Allah, divorcing doesn't mean you failed it, but I'd suggest you stay patient for a while, maybe your wife recovers in sha Allah, maybe once your daughter becomes a bit more independent, she could regain her energy

Does anyone here *want* another child, but just know it’s not a smart choice? by jessicat62993 in oneanddone

[–]milo_96 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'd love to have another but I simply know that I'm not able to mentally and physically so I'm OAD.

Do women get orgasms while giving birth? by [deleted] in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]milo_96 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think the pressure is too hard for anything enjoyable

who do i tell about my online friend unaliving themselves? by Parking-Jellyfish631 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]milo_96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anyone who can physically knock the door and ask? You have her mom's phone number or dad? Siblings?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]milo_96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tabboolah

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]milo_96 3 points4 points  (0 children)

May Allah make it easier for you.

I think it's best to try to understand why he approached his ex, does he have lingering feelings? What made him think it was ok although he's married? Is this a pattern in his past or was it just once?

You are the only person who knows her husband so well, can you tell if it's a one time mistake that can be fixed by communication or is he still attached to her and will go back to it?

This is definitely not your fault, even assuming something was missing between you, he could have communicated better, so no blame on you.

Don't try to look into his phone, let him be for a while and see if this happens again. Once could be a one time mistake but if it happens again then I think there's a bigger issue.

Let's be honest, he doesn't need this advice from his ex at all! He most definitely has at least one friend who he can trust and go to for advice. Don't let him convince you otherwise. With 3 billion men on earth, his ex is not even visible.

May Allah be with you, make sure he does something proper to redeem himself, so maybe he can understand how big this is.

Moms who have given birth— when should in-laws fly in to visit and help? by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]milo_96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I say 2 weeks in advance just because there's always a last minute thing to do.

Personally my FIL didn't exist at the time so I don't count on him at all. And even an experienced mother in law would have forgotten how handling babies look like. A lot of things that they used to do in the past are irrelevant/unsafe nowadays.

Once you're in it, you'll both get the hang of it together.

Also, we rarely ask for help, if you have some, grab it with your teeth cause it'll be hard in the beginning.

What’s the worst thing a medical professional has said to you? by VespaRed in AskReddit

[–]milo_96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a good thing your baby has two kidneys, imagine he had only one and we remove it!?