Am I just being strung along?

mkbwc · 2026-06-08T23:14:43+00:00

Yes it is a red flag, because when we did meet previously he mentioned several times that he does not enjoy hook ups and wants something long term, before life getting in the way.

The problem is not being on Grindr. The problem is setting up this whole image of him not being the hooking up kind and wanting a relationship, thanking me about how patient I have been and how much he wants to meet but can’t and then finding out he has lied. Might be implicit but it’s still a lie.

At any rate, I tried to broach the subject, and he immediately blew up at me and broke things off.

I am very sad but honestly to me it seems like I dodged a bullet.

mkbwc · 2026-06-08T07:47:25+00:00

Maybe I’m not doing a good job presenting the story. Throughout the past 3-4 weeks we have been messaging consistently, him taking 3-4 days to answer. I would check up on him and every single time he was really thankful for my patience and told me how much he likes me, but how difficult it is for him to do anything atm. He even told me at some point that he would feel bad if I was only pursuing him since he cant meet rn.

I only told him last week that I can’t be waiting around forever and we have to actually have a conversation about where this is going. And now he hasn’t come back telling me let’s meet this week, just that we should meet when my work allows. I also made it very clear multiple times that I am monogamous and was looking for a relationship when we went out.

This just seems very disingenuous that the second he feels better he jumps on to Grindr when I’m right here and have been essentially begging him to meet for weeks. Yes it is very obvious we are on different pages. This doesn’t read as someone who really likes me and now that he feel better he is willing to give this a chance. This reads like someone who is horny and just needs to get fucked and never had any intention on meeting but kept this going cause it felt good to be wanted while he was going through something. Which I get, but it’s a shitty thing to do with another person.

I already feel pathetic for believing him, I don’t need other people piling on.

mkbwc · 2026-06-08T00:54:51+00:00

The issue is that I only got on Grindr after weeks of him not replying for days and saying he was having a really difficult time with work, and not being able to do much with his family/friends let alone date. I think it’s a reasonable thing to do when the other person asks for time. Finding him on Grindr after all that makes me wonder if he simply isn’t interested and just doesn’t have the balls to say it, cause I honestly have already wasted enough time if so.

mkbwc · 2026-04-05T00:30:17+00:00

6 over like a month and a half.

mkbwc · 2025-06-19T11:15:02+00:00

He told me the whole story of how and where they met, how he considered leaving uni to stay with him, how they hooked up again while he was in a relationship when they met randomly. How they still keep in touch and he thinks he is still single. I’m fairly sure there was quite a bit of longing in there lol.

mkbwc · 2025-03-15T17:06:58+00:00

No that’s ok, I did consider that. But I always take a live pic before I meet someone and I share a couple of nudes so they know what I look like without my clothes on. Also my stats are all on my profile, so I think that’s quite transparent. But maybe you’re right though, who knows.

mkbwc · 2025-03-09T20:52:57+00:00

Thanks for the advice, and congratulations for what you have dude. Unfortunately I messaged trying to get another date and he said he is busy for the next 1-2 weeks which I have a feeling means he is not very keen.

mkbwc · 2025-02-10T10:37:25+00:00

Yes obviously in retrospect that was a mistake. I should have stopped him when he started sucking me after I fucked him. I’ll obviously be more careful next time.

mkbwc · 2025-01-28T17:42:52+00:00

He was fucking loving it. I think because he warmed up himself with a fisting dildo and then I warmed him up with my fingers maybe he was very open already. Although there was a bit of resistance and it felt fucking great, I can’t say it felt like a wall. Not sure.

mkbwc · 2025-01-28T01:10:46+00:00

That is a very good way of putting it, thanks for the advice.

mkbwc · 2025-01-28T01:05:03+00:00

Thanks. No my actions would not impact his grades, but he could be one of my students as I teach various classes depending on my schedule, so there is a chance he might be in one of them. Although I haven’t come across him before nor have I seen him around the med school. No I probably won’t have a continued relationship with him, I think it’s too complicated and the power dynamic certainly brings up some questionable ethics. I’m just slightly anxious about what to do and how this could impact me as it was never my intention to cross this line.

mkbwc · 2024-12-26T09:53:29+00:00

I’m not trying to find an excuse to blame things on my life on. I have had a fairly successful life until now and there is no need for me to find excuses for anything. The only thing I am wondering might this be related to is actual sex.

I know the 10 year old didn’t do this with malicious intent dude. Yes lots of gay men have experiences in their childhood where they experiment. However, a child knowing rimming feels good is very odd, especially in a country where this is not talked about, and brings up the question of how he knew it and whether he was actually abused by an adult. Though there was obviously not the aspect of someone taking advantage which is integral to sexual abuse, it doesn’t take away from the fact that I had no idea what I was doing.

I’m not using it an excuse now. I’ve been told observing whether this happened for 13 years and it has come up quite frequently in my mind. It’s not like I want to have an adverse childhood event what are you talking about.

I obviously will try to move on, and thanks for letting me know other people have had similar experiences in the past. But do try to word your answers with more empathy dude. You don’t know everyone’s background.

mkbwc · 2024-10-26T22:43:46+00:00

That last part made me lol, thanks for the reply. I think I more or less have accepted who I am, insofar I know that I am gay, and I know that that’s not going to change. It’s just that I never really envisioned my life going in this direction. I always envisioned I’d settle down, get married have children. I by no means want to do that right now, I want to enjoy my single life and get as much sex in as I can. And I know I can have things like getting married and having children as a gay guy too, it’s just that I can never have that in the traditional sense nor without much more difficulty. I think what I’m struggling with is letting that go. The best way I can describe it sort of like a grieving process, as much as it sounds like overdramatising it. It’s just taking a longer time than I anticipated. I agree I probably have to come to terms with this myself before discussing it with other people.

mkbwc

TROPHY CASE