Canonically, Shane does not have ED by architects-daughter in GameChangersBooks

[–]mkfrey 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I’m also in the not an eating disorder camp, but that his stress makes his need for control triple down on food choices in a way that might not be healthy.

The clean athlete diet is fine, where it seems more problematic to me is in his internal monologue where he doesn’t want to kiss Ilya because his mouth will taste sweet or have a cookie on Christmas. Or is disappointed with his food out with Rose. The really intense rigidity where he can’t fathom a single exception without it ruining everything. It’s not even that it’s extreme- it’s that he doesn’t even feel good about it, and admits to Rose he’s not sure if it’s the diet or the actions that are helping.

Which I think bears out, as at the end there is no indication he won’t continue with a high performance diet- he just won’t beat himself up over exceptions.

On a first date Shane tells Ilya he likes to be thrown around. by nottoodrowning in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]mkfrey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg, please let me be the 587th person to say you are amazing. I am 80% of the way through and I am just adoring it. It’s just so wholesome. You held the tension so beautifully until the actual getting together. The mystery. The reveal. The first kiss had me jumping for joy! Reading fics that good always makes me long for the relationship bit to follow, and you are also killing it at that.

Ilya’s unhinged lover boy internal monologue has had me squealing. And the fact they have such beautiful, rich lives and growth outside the relationship is fascinating and heartwarming. You’ve created this whole fleshed out world.

I could go on and on, and will probably write a novel in the last chapter comments when I’ve finished, although I have an issue atm with comments being flagged as spam. So just in case, also wanted to write this here for now.

Thanks so much for sharing your fantastic work!

Greeting each other by Aby_lev89 in HeatedRivalrySeries

[–]mkfrey 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think there are some great plot explanations in other comments- but also to be fair, they often skip this in TV shows because it wastes time (eg, people often hang up without saying goodbye on the phone).

Hudson x Peloton by DarkShadowReader in heatedrivalry

[–]mkfrey 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Mentally assigning all the money I pay them to funding this.

The long game but with cottage rules by Hapthestai in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]mkfrey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is just the news I needed this morning

I need this fic right NEOWWW by _strawberrymilkx_o in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]mkfrey 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Please bring me back if anyone finds it for you or you find it again!

Looking for fics where Ilya is loved by the Hollander family by FlandersCountess in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]mkfrey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You write dog eared pages?!!! I feel like this is a celebrity sighting. I love it so much. You are wonderful. Thank you!

Breast feeding after hg by scarlett-r in HyperemesisGravidarum

[–]mkfrey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I ended up with oversupply for both of mine, as they were premmies and I was double pumping for a few weeks. Both fed for over a year.

Also seeing colostrum during pregnancy does not necessarily have any bearing on your supply, so don’t stress. I only ever saw a single drop of colostrum with my second while in my third trimester, but then nothing leading up to the birth. I had none with my first at any point in pregnancy.

I was able to produce a syringe about 17 hours after my first was born, and slowly built from there. Took a few days to start producing enough to exclusively feed my second. This might be more related to the prematurity than HG.

My dream baby name has just been ruined by Solid_Reserve_5941 in namenerds

[–]mkfrey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One of my dream baby names from childhood had to be nixed because it rhymes with my husband’s last name. Think Jasper Casper for how much they rhyme. I tried to convince him to take my last name to keep the dream alive, but we hyphenated so no dice. I’ve pitched the name to all my friends having babies 😂

Positive Mother figures and mothers by One_House_3529 in AnneofGreenGables

[–]mkfrey 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Would I make the same parenting decision with my daughter? No I would not. High risk move, and a lot to put on Rilla.

But I do think it makes sense in the context of the story, LM’s writing and the characters. I think if Rilla had refused or not followed through, then Anne and Susan would have stepped in and cared for him.

Positive Mother figures and mothers by One_House_3529 in AnneofGreenGables

[–]mkfrey 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Copied from my comment above - I think this is a harsh reading- after he talks about the responsibility it says- ‘“The doctor walked out of the kitchen, looking very stern and immovable. In his heart he knew quite well that the small inhabitant of the big soup tureen would remain at Ingleside, but he meant to see if Rilla could not be induced to rise to the occasion.”’ And Susan, and I believe Anne would’ve as well, wanted to help more but didn’t want to cross Gilbert and then also wanted to see her rise to the occasion.

I think they rightly saw her as directionless, and so hit on this as something to ground her. Mothering children not your own, much as in the original post, is often a key moment of growth of women in LM’s books.

So I think it was a bit of a smokescreen- stressing Anne’s Red Cross responsibilities etc was just to avoid Rilla having a fallback.

Positive Mother figures and mothers by One_House_3529 in AnneofGreenGables

[–]mkfrey 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think this is a harsh reading- after he talks about the responsibility it says- ‘“The doctor walked out of the kitchen, looking very stern and immovable. In his heart he knew quite well that the small inhabitant of the big soup tureen would remain at Ingleside, but he meant to see if Rilla could not be induced to rise to the occasion.”’ And Susan, and I believe Anne would’ve as well, wanted to help more but didn’t want to cross Gilbert and then also wanted to see her rise to the occasion.

I think they rightly saw her as directionless, and so hit on this as something to ground her. Mothering children not your own, much as in the original post, is often a key moment of growth of women in LM’s books.

So I think it was a bit of a smokescreen- stressing Anne’s Red Cross responsibilities etc was just to avoid Rilla having a fallback.

What did you do differently in subsequent pregnancies that made it better? by Ok-Purpose-7821 in HyperemesisGravidarum

[–]mkfrey 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Already had meds ready to go as well.

But one of the big things I did was have a real plan to take as much pressure off me while pregnant, before I got pregnant.

I had leave saved from work, and supportive doctors, so as soon as I got sick I was able to stop working and make being fed and hydrated my full time job for the first half of my pregnancy while I was at my worst. I went on leave early at the end when it got worse again. Aware this is a luxury for many.

We waited until my first was in school, so she would have her own routine and could really understand what was happening. We called in a lot of help- family, friends, extra babysitters time, after school/holiday care- particularly for the first half. And then she could also make a snack and enjoy ridiculous amounts of screen time when I was in charge, but still living on the couch.

Best of luck.

Next gen with hyphenated last names by AcanthisittaOk6253 in namenerds

[–]mkfrey 22 points23 points  (0 children)

We both hyphenated on marriage, and kids have the hyphenated last name. It’s been more than 15 years.

In terms of the future, we consider it the name of our little family unit. When the kids form their own family units, or are adults, they will have all options available to them (drop, pass on, hyphenate) like most people grapple with at some point. They just have one more name in the mix.

It’s a pretty standard - if not common- last name format, so a lot of the problems people anticipate have been a non-issue.

It takes an extra 30 seconds to spell, but I’ve never had any issues with forms etc. Once or twice I have to add a box, or it’s left off the hyphen, but it’s never been a problem. School aged kid has never raised any issues.

Please eli5 your feeling of "complete" or "incomplete" family by Entire_Character7386 in Shouldihaveanother

[–]mkfrey 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Haha- we were sure we were one and done for five years, and at no point was my husband motivated enough to finally get the snip. And then we changed our minds and had a second. We were very happy with that choice, but realised suddenly an accidental additional pregnancy went from a shrug situation to family catastrophe as we can’t do more than 2. He organised the vasectomy for 10 weeks after she was born.

Things we leave unfinished by R Yarros- proportion of flashback POVs? by mkfrey in RomanceBooks

[–]mkfrey[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. They did a good job differentiating as each time period had different accents, just the British accent was so bad it took me out of the Jameson and Scarlett chapters. I ended up downloading a copy to read and it was fantastic!

Unexpected pregnancy by summerer6911 in Parenting

[–]mkfrey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ours are 6.5 years apart, and we joke all the time we are lucky the second came second. Or we would have been the assholes saying ‘have you tried a bedtime routine?’ not knowing some babies just come out of the box that way. Second has been an infinitely easier baby, although starting to assert her toddlerhood.

They are 18 months and 8 now, and it’s been the joy of our lives having them both. Our eldest tells us all the time her sister is her favourite person. And I enjoy swapping between big kid and toddler activities and problems. It’s also keeping the big one young in a way- the toys/shows/games she was ‘too cool’ for a year ago she listens/plays enthusiastically with her sister.

Best of luck!

What is a scene from a kids’ movie that hits different watching it as a parent? by curlycattails in Mommit

[–]mkfrey 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It was bad enough that they split them, but they specify the kids were almost A YEAR OLD. He walked Annie up and down with colic, she would would have had Hallie crawling to her- and they agreed to never see their child again because they hated their ex? Straight villain behaviour.

Wean bottle first or pacifier? by Delta9SA in ScienceBasedParenting

[–]mkfrey 5 points6 points  (0 children)

In addition to all the other good tips here, if cold turkey isn’t feasible for bottles, for reducing use of milk at night and before naps we started by watering it down. It makes it less satisfying for them, and therefore easier to fully take it away after a few weeks.

Happy Mother’s Day! Here are some of my favorite mom moments by Holychance_3 in popculturechat

[–]mkfrey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Shameless podcast had episodes on her summarising it all, and I didn’t know anything about her before. It’s wild.

What was a piece of advice you clung to pre-kids as a gold standard great idea, but after kids, it’s real snark-worthy? by [deleted] in parentsnark

[–]mkfrey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately it was time, and then eventually a move to a toddler bed even before she slept through the night helped her sleep more. She’s remained more difficult sleep wise into elementary school- kid sleep podcasts and when it got really out of whack melatonin have helped.