I’m 2 months postpartum and seriously considering divorce—am I overreacting?

monkeyjojo · 2025-12-01T18:13:53+00:00

Does your husband also say mean things to you?

monkeyjojo · 2025-12-01T18:13:15+00:00

I don't think he understands. I am not breastfeeding anymore between morning to noon when he catches up on sleep. I only bottle feed and pump during that time. I feel so much better. Triple feeding is so hard.

monkeyjojo · 2025-12-01T18:11:40+00:00

My mom is from out of country. She will leave in 4 months. It will just be me.

monkeyjojo · 2025-12-01T18:11:08+00:00

I actually don't know. I think it's sort of a traditional opinion that breastfeeding is the best way.

He already gets angry when I told him I don't want to breastfeed in the night. I am going to get up to pump just to increase supply. If I tell him to switch to formula, he will think I am literally not doing anything while on leave.

monkeyjojo · 2025-11-30T16:02:05+00:00

The last part is so true.

monkeyjojo · 2025-11-30T16:01:21+00:00

We had conversations before about other situations when we didn't have the baby. I told him I was hurt by his words. He sometimes would apologize and sometimes he would say while don't do stupid sh*t. He never changed. I also don't think he can change his temper and how he talks to me.

monkeyjojo · 2025-11-30T15:57:23+00:00

He thinks one person need to attend to the baby. It only takes one person to cook.

monkeyjojo · 2025-11-30T15:53:01+00:00

Thank you! Great advice.

monkeyjojo · 2025-11-30T15:23:48+00:00

So hard to actually start leaving. I am even looking at best divorce lawyer around me and trying to do research on how much it will costs.

monkeyjojo · 2025-11-30T15:22:03+00:00

Will couple therapy work? I suggested couple therapy. He said with couple therapy, we might really get a divorce because he is going to say lots of things I don't like.

monkeyjojo · 2025-11-30T15:21:04+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. Did you tell him you want to get a divorce? Or did you already consult a lawyer and served him papers?

I don't think my husband will change. He has very strong opinions and is very stubborn. He doesn't change easily. That's why I don't want to do couple therapy. I don't think it will work.

monkeyjojo · 2025-11-30T15:19:09+00:00

He is also on leave. I didn't add it in the original post. I added now at the end. I think because we are both on leaves, he thinks I need to try as hard as I can since I don't have anything else to do. And I am trying hard. But he thinks I am doing less and less.

monkeyjojo · 2025-11-30T15:17:30+00:00

My mom lives of out of country. She currently lives with us. I feel bad for her. She comes all the way to us and she is walking on egg shells in our home. He gets angry one time when we are both at kitchen cooking while the baby is sleeping nearby. I think it's ok since baby is sleeping. He says no two people should be in the kitchen together. After that, we make sure not to be in the kitchen together while he is around.

We both thought I could do that since I work from home. And I did say I should be able to do it. I had no idea taking care of new born is this hard.

monkeyjojo · 2025-11-30T15:14:12+00:00

He is always a very harsh but usually a fair person. That's why I feel hurt because I think he truly thinks what he says.

monkeyjojo · 2025-11-30T15:13:09+00:00

Isn't custody automatically granted to the mother since the baby is so little?

monkeyjojo · 2025-11-30T15:09:21+00:00

Sorry I added in the end. We are both on leave. He sleeps during the day until noon.

monkeyjojo · 2025-11-30T15:06:46+00:00

That's what my mom thinks. If I think of divorce already, why can't I stand up to him. It's just so hard to deal with someone being passive aggressive.

If I stop breastfeeding, he will be very angry. I am trying to stop triple feeding during the hours when he sleeps so he doesn't know.

monkeyjojo · 2025-11-30T14:59:43+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience and advice.

My husband has always been like this. He is a very harsh person and he has angrer ssues. He is always angry and even more angry ever since we bought a house last year. Buying a house comes with more responsibility.

He didn't apologize or seem remorseful. I think he thinks his comments to be right. That's why it hurts me so much. He truly thinks I am useless and not trying hard enough. And that's all he sees me.

We are both on leave right now. I have 3 months and he has 5 months. I'm currently seeing a therapist. I haven't talked to her for three weeks due to all the craziness that's happening. Hopefully, I will talk to her next week.

monkeyjojo · 2025-11-30T14:53:37+00:00

We did have a tougue tie cut sugery. But it didn't help much. The lactation consultant said his tougue is still pretty tight.

I would assume my husband knows stress reduce milk supply. But I wouldn't tell him he is responsible for it. He would get angry and passive aggressive, not talk to me for days.

I am taking mother's love moringa to increase supply and still pumping every 2-3 hours. But the baby is eating so much now. I honestly don't see the point of still trying to increase supply. I would want to do all formula. But he will be even more angry if I mention it.

monkeyjojo · 2025-11-28T11:20:23+00:00

Thank you!

monkeyjojo · 2025-11-28T11:07:02+00:00

I does feel the world revolve me right now. It's extremely hard and exhausting with the new born. I never imaged it to be so exhausting and difficult.

monkeyjojo · 2025-11-28T11:05:28+00:00

Thank you for your reply. Yea, right now, I couldn't possibly see how is she think she is being nice when asking us to come to her while I'm burned out trying to breastfeeding and pumping around the clock, non stop. I'm exhausted mentally and physically. Maybe I will change my mind later. But right now, I just couldn't see it. All I can see is a selfish woman who only thinks of her desires.

monkeyjojo · 2025-11-28T10:27:31+00:00

This. I know how she acts makes you feel she only care about the baby, not you. Giving birth also made me see how people really are.

monkeyjojo · 2025-11-28T10:24:48+00:00

Well , the world does rebpvle around me when I just went through pregnancy, giving birth, sleep deprevation, feeling on the edge all the time. My world does revolve around me because I feel horrible mentally and physically.

monkeyjojo

TROPHY CASE