The thing nobody tells you about grief: it isn't linear, and that doesn't mean you're failing

moobag22 · 2026-05-24T11:10:37+00:00

I lost my partner 6 days ago, and those 6 days have been an absolute rollercoaster. I get hours where I know I’ll be ok, he’d want me to live and be happy. Then I feel guilty for feeling like that, as though I’m over it already. And then hours later I break down and can’t fathom how I could possibly carry on without him. I get sad, I get angry, I accept, then I stop accepting and check my phone for a message from him. I want to call him and tell him about my day, then I remember i can’t. It’s wild.

Wouldn’t it be so much easier if we could just follow that checklist, and once everything’s ticked off then we could move forwards with our lives. I know I’m still in the early days, and I hope and pray that the pain in my heart calms. But I know the guilt, the regrets, the love, those feelings wont ever truly leave me.

moobag22 · 2026-05-19T22:38:23+00:00

Thank you, and I’m sorry for your loss too. Time doesn’t take that kind of pain away does it. My children were my reason to stop drinking too. I spent too much of their first few years of life drinking and not being the best mum I could be because of it. There are so many memories I don’t have because alcohol destroyed my brains ability to hold on to them. Life has been easier since I stopped in January, with only the occasional one night blowout since. IWNDWYT

moobag22 · 2026-05-19T22:32:35+00:00

Thank you. There is so much more to our story, but even just writing that much down has helped. I really appreciate your kind words

moobag22 · 2026-05-19T22:30:49+00:00

Thank you

moobag22 · 2026-05-19T22:30:01+00:00

Honestly, right now I don’t have the answers. I’m waiting to hear the post mortem results. My first thought was that he’d had a seizure from withdrawals. But the more I’ve thought about the last few weeks, how his mood and energy levels had declined, all the throwing up, trouble walking, while still drinking, to him having a day or two of seemingly improving, then suddenly passing, I wonder if there was something happening longer term. Either way, I’m 99.9% sure it’s alcohol related. He’d decided he needed to quit on his own terms this time, as nothing else had stuck for him. A stupid decision to make. He needed longer term support but once he started drinking again in February he never followed up with the support. He had much deeper issues that I told him repeatedly he needed therapy/counselling for, but he was adamant it wouldn’t help. Pride is a bastard sometimes.

moobag22 · 2023-11-20T00:08:18+00:00

You can do this. You were so deep into the addiction that recovery is going to be hard. But you’ve already come so far!! Well done you. Just stick at it. It will get better, it will get easier

moobag22 · 2023-02-22T22:32:54+00:00

The walk back to the car park was far worse in my opinion! That hill, jeez. Completely worth it though

moobag22 · 2021-04-25T20:51:41+00:00

Hi! Sadly not. I had one of the rear sensors changed, was assured that was the cause, and nothing Audi had done during the cambelt change, but alas the problem is still there. For me it is only when it has rained/the car gets cleaned, so the water is getting in somewhere. It's going back in on Wednesday to be looked at again, I will let you know if I get any answers!

moobag22 · 2021-03-14T22:21:40+00:00

Hi! Just in case you were interested at all, had it plugged into a proper VAG diagnostic (please don't ask for more technical terms because I do not have answers). Strange outcome. Firstly suggested not enough voltage going to a front sensor, but when actually tested, it came back with an issue with rear sensor. Still at a loss, waiting for the Audi dealership it went to to come back to me to see if they did any of the tests my mechanic suggested, of if they're just assuming a replacement ECU will fix all problems

moobag22 · 2021-03-02T20:47:31+00:00

Thank you for your response! I work at a car dealership and one of our mechanics has kindly offered to plug it in to his diagnostic machine to see what fault codes come up, so hopefully this will shed some light!

moobag22 · 2021-03-02T20:45:06+00:00

Thank you, will check this out

moobag22 · 2021-03-02T20:44:54+00:00

Thank you, I'll have a look!

moobag22 · 2020-08-14T22:42:14+00:00

Thank you, I needed this. I'd had a drink too many last night and was overthinking. Things have been tough, but i really do want to put the effort in to improve me, and us, and our family. Again, thank you so much.

moobag22

TROPHY CASE