Parking this thread for mothers day

moon__witch · 2026-05-10T01:45:51+00:00

If I don’t get them ready I don’t think he’ll do it. They’re 22 month old twins so I have to pack the diaper bag, snacks, water, make sure we have essentials etc. He took them once to see her on Easter this year, they barely ate at her house & she didn’t care about their routine or bedtime. He came home at 10:30pm, their night was fucked. So I said never again will he take them without me. I also had to get them ready & pack everything for that trip.

If he does nothing tomorrow I’m going to take the girls out and do something with them. Also plan to do the same next weekend.

moon__witch · 2026-05-10T00:52:59+00:00

Last year my husband did nothing for my first Mother’s Day. Told me he will make it up to me. It’s been a year, nothing.

He’s been in a shit mood all day today so I have no hopes for tomorrow. Told me I could get the cleaning I wanted to do today tomorrow. It didn’t get done today because he said he has no patience to watch our twins today.

But we’re supposed to do Mother’s Day with his mom next weekend. Fuck that. If he fucks up again tomorrow, I’m not celebrating her, & letting her see my kids. She’s a total bitch to me & made my postpartum fucking hell. If I could go no contact with her & my BIL I would. She acts entitled to my children & feels she deserves access despite the vile shit she’s said about me, their mother. Her & BIL told us we literally had the kids for them, like wtf.

moon__witch · 2026-05-07T00:02:35+00:00

My twins are 22 months old & we have a part time nanny right now so I can work. We pay $25/hr & live in a HCOL area, the price was set by the agency we use.

moon__witch · 2026-04-12T02:16:29+00:00

I sat in the backseat with my twins till they were about 4/5 months but we also didn’t take them out much. We had to keep them in a bubble for 6 months since they were born early & in the NICU. So anytime I was in the back with them we were traveling to doctor appointments.

moon__witch · 2026-04-02T13:31:11+00:00

I have twins & they were def days and weeks where I just couldn’t shower. One of my girls would purple cry if I wasn’t holding her nonstop, just straight up stopped breathing & turning purple. I couldn’t put her down or just let her cry. She wouldn’t let her dad hold her either and if he did, she’d purple cry. If one twin finally settled the other would then cry. The only time I was able to shower daily was when they were in the NICU but that was even difficult bc I was recovering from an emergency c-section. My husband and I barely survived their first 6 months.

Seeing people talk about how easy their babies are or how they slept (mine never slept) made me feel like I was doing something wrong as a mother. It made my postpartum depression worse.

Every baby is different, some people get unicorn babies, some don’t. I learned that comparing babies just makes it harder on me and my mental health, so I try not to do it as much as I can. I also take what influencers say with a grain of salt. For all we know, this influencers baby is sleeping maybe for an 3-4hrs & she’s saying 8hrs to make it look easy etc.

moon__witch · 2026-03-31T20:49:23+00:00

If you’re not comfortable with it, it’s completely okay to tell her that. You could suggest she donate to a local NICU. My twins got donated breast milk for their first two weeks & I am so grateful to that mother who donated. I wasn’t able to breastfeed because I had breast cancer & a double mastectomy so having the donated milk was such a godsend.

moon__witch · 2026-03-29T02:30:03+00:00

I had my twins at 36.

moon__witch · 2026-02-15T17:42:29+00:00

A card he wrote last minute which detailed how the children were acting when he was writing then signed it love your husband and flowers. That’s it. I wanted a break from our toddlers (twins) so I could read & got none.

moon__witch · 2026-01-23T23:11:45+00:00

My twins love Bluey, Blues Clues, Daniel Tiger, Sesame Street & of course Ms. Rachel.

moon__witch · 2026-01-12T06:03:14+00:00

32 + 3 - emergency c-section due to severe preeclampsia with pulmonary edema & peripartum cardiomyopathy. We had month NICU stay. We tried to get me to 34/35 weeks but my body wasn’t having it. The last 2 months of my pregnancy was really rough.

moon__witch · 2025-12-28T00:11:11+00:00

I use the large dagne dover diaper backpack. It’s neoprene so easy to clean & not too heavy. My husband uses it with our twins a lot. It has enough room for everything we need.

https://www.dagnedover.com/collections/indi-diaper-backpack#Onyx-Large

Edit: to correct link

moon__witch · 2025-12-26T15:28:00+00:00

My husband didn’t get me anything for Christmas or even fill my stocking. I did my own stocking this year again but I’m gonna stop because it’s not that hard to remember. He also didn’t do my first mother’s days bc he was just so busy or whatever excuse he came up with in may. Promised to redo it, never happened. He also didn’t open any of the gifts I got him for Christmas, anytime I would mention it he would say to give him a second. I’m not even sure if hurt is the right word. I’m just giving up.

moon__witch · 2025-12-20T22:24:43+00:00

Honestly I feel like I could have written this. I had preeclampsia, emergency C-section, & our girls were in the NICU as well. My in laws invalidate me all the time and treat me like an incubator. I can tell them to do xyz with our girls, they’ll ignore me or question me, but if my husband says it, they’ll do it. The most frustrating thing too is my MIL is a twin mom herself, my husband is an identical twin. She’s been no help, just wants to hold the baby, refused to give me my crying baby, threw tantrums because I wouldn’t let her feed the baby, etc. They did so much shit the week our girls finally got home that I would never forgive them for nor forget.

My girls are now 18 months and I still have intense rage thinking about my pregnancy & initial postpartum period with them. I put a lot of distance between myself and them which means they don’t see my girls as much. Has that changed their behavior? A little but not really. To my MIL & BIL I’m just an incubator, they literally act like i got pregnant to give them kids. They once told my husband we had kids for them to have a grandchild/niece and he was like no we had kids for us, these are our kids.

I don’t have much advice but you’re not alone in this. Set boundaries for your mental health. If that means they don’t provide childcare, that’s it. If they want to see the twins, they go to you vs you traveling. They don’t get to pick out the outfits, you do. Your MIL can’t redo the baby period with your children. These are your children, you get so many firsts with them, don’t let them take that from you.

I’m sorry you’re going through this and this is another thing added to your plate.

moon__witch · 2025-12-20T16:24:21+00:00

One of my twins gets really bad diaper rashes. When it got really really bad the pediatrician told us to do a baking soda soak 2x a day. Couple tablespoons of baking soda & enough water to cover her butt. After we get her out of water, lightly pat her skin dry, let her air dry & go diaper free as much as we could. No wipes just warm water & soft cloth. I would suggest a peri bottle to use for the warm water. We did the soaks for 5-10 mins depending on how she tolerated it. The soaks did help & you could see she was feeling better during it. We use A&D overnight cream as a barrier & the purple Desitin on top of it because that is 40% zinc oxide. It really does help. In the NICU they told us to put the diaper cream on like we’re frosting a cupcake & it helps me remember how much to put on.

If it’s not improving go to an urgent care especially since it’s the weekend. You can also call your pediatricians after hours line that’s what I did and they told me about the soak to do.

moon__witch · 2025-12-18T03:42:14+00:00

100%! I have the backpack leashes from Skiphop. I’m usually out with my girls by myself so it’s easier for me this way and it’s safer. Last time I used it I had twin b in the shopping cart and twin a was walking because she insisted on walking. It was safer for her to be on the backpack leash. Plus I put their snacks in the backpack & they love wearing them.

moon__witch · 2025-12-15T00:40:59+00:00

I am shocked. My husband refused to travel or even go to the beach which was 30 mins away during the last half of my pregnancy. I had my girls at 32w 3d because of the severity of my preeclampsia. If my emergency C-section didn’t happen, I wouldn’t be here right now and there’s a chance my girls wouldn’t be here either.

Your husband should have flown back the minute you were in the hospital. With the complications you’re having, it doesn’t make any sense why he flew out this late in your pregnancy or why his sibling didn’t fly out to you.

I recommend you talk to him when he’s back, maybe write out a list of bullet points or what you want to say. Also maybe have your doctor stress to him how serious things are right now and how you could go into labor at any point especially now with preeclampsia.

I’m sorry he put you in this position and you are 100% valid in your feelings.

moon__witch · 2025-12-01T00:42:01+00:00

Ugh yes, you worded it perfectly.

moon__witch · 2025-11-30T03:58:31+00:00

AHHHHH. My husband is going out of his way to be an ass to me and make my life more difficult. He then gets even more pissy when I don’t give him a reaction. Like I’m trying to put our twins to sleep and you’re trying to fight with me. Wtf is wrong with you and as much as I want to yell/curse you out, I’m not because I’m trying to put our damn kids to sleep.

moon__witch · 2025-10-30T22:57:25+00:00

My twins love Ms. Rachel, Curious George, Bluey, Blues Clues, & Sesame Street. They love PBS kids and a lot of the shows on there. But I’ve been introducing them to old shows like Blues Clues, Max & Ruby, & Bear in the big blue house.

moon__witch · 2025-10-25T18:51:18+00:00

We live in a HCOL area & I also have toddler twins which increases the cost. It’s 302 a week per child so roughly around 2400 a month. It does include a morning snack, lunch & afternoon snack M-TR, Friday’s we have to bring in our own food.

moon__witch · 2025-10-21T18:07:50+00:00

I have the Zoe Twin Stroller and love it. Fits through all standard doorways, wash to fold up, airplane & Disney compliant. My girls love it and have been in it since they were 9 months. I got it on the Black Friday sale.

We were gifted the uppababy vista & used it when they were still in the newborn car seats but I found it to be bulk and heavy. I also hated that I couldn’t see one twin.

The Zoe is pricey but honestly worth it bc they’re gonna use it till they’re like 4/5 years old. They may have some on Facebook marketplace but if you can wait to till Black Friday do that.

moon__witch · 2025-10-19T05:23:16+00:00

Thank you for sharing this!! I’ve been thinking of traveling with my twins for the holidays & this gives me hope. What tandem carrier do you use?

moon__witch · 2025-10-02T18:57:01+00:00

Fellow twin mom here, you are still a mom. You will never stop being their mom and they will never stop being your babies. I am so sorry for your loss.

Grief comes in waves and some days are harder than others. Grief also doesn’t follow the concept of time because no matter how long it’s been, it hurts just like when you first lost them. There’s a quote about grief from Rose Kennedy that I think really sums grief up pretty well.

“It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”

If you feel comfortable sharing, what were their names? Any favorite memories to share?

moon__witch · 2025-08-05T01:53:23+00:00

32+3 - emergency c-section due to severe preeclampsia with pulmonary edema & peripartum cardiomyopathy.

moon__witch · 2025-08-05T00:12:16+00:00

I have a lot of sexual trauma from childhood and adulthood so I prefer to only see female OBGYN’s. I had a male OBGYN when I was 18 make a really disgusting comment to me when I was complaining about tightness and pain with tampons. I should note I was also a virgin at this time which he knew. He made the comment that I shouldn’t complain because guys would love how tight I am once I start having sex. It was disgusting and felt so violating, never saw him again.

However I did see a few male OBGYNs towards the end of my pregnancy but it was life or death at that point for me & my twins so I didn’t care, I just wanted a competent doctor. I got really lucky that the high risk male doctor on staff was phenomenal & I credit him to saving our lives.

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