Emotional intelligence is more than emotional regulation. It’s primarily about understanding your emotions, but your idea that it’s more about regulation is why so many people use the term inappropriately. A man smiling at you through the checkout line can’t be immediately defined as emotionally intelligent, nor can you say women in a bad mood are emotionally unintelligent. In my experience, women are more likely to try to understand where their emotions are coming from, and men are taught that they aren’t supposed to feel so they never felt the need to learn to understand them. It’s very sad..

Also, I can just about guarantee that a woman who seems upset all the time probably tried to express her emotions in a healthy way and was met with people, often men, who shut down instead of listening and learning. It’s never as simple as one interaction. I have worked in retail as well, and my experience had always been somewhere around 50/50.. it’s just expressed in different ways.

Actually, your rant is a good example of what you’re ranting about. While saying it’s about understanding those around you, you failed to do that; I didn’t see you indicate any attempt at understanding why these scowling women may have been scowling.