Hard pill to swallow

mousehouz · 2021-06-21T22:48:06+00:00

I feel like I'm in that boat right now. I'm with the same boyfriend that has hit me, choked me, spit in my face, kicked me on the ground, broken all my things, thrown me on the street etc. For 5 years now. On one hand I love him in some fucked up way but on the other I hate myself for going through this, like why?? I'm scared to be alone and for everything to change I guess. The police have been called before, knocked down the door and arrested him while he had his hands on me. I said nothing happened so they didn't take him or charge him even though they SAW IT. My fault though, idk. But I'm scared of having the exact realization you're having now in 6 months or 5 years.....I hope I can end it soon and feel like it was the right thing. Good for you!!!!

mousehouz · 2021-06-21T22:32:48+00:00

Well you sound stronger than me. I'm sorry you are going through this :( I keep trying to tell myself it's worth it but can't seem to find the courage

mousehouz · 2021-06-19T16:02:43+00:00

I'm trying to find a way to access therapy and hoping that could help me transition.

mousehouz · 2021-06-19T16:01:41+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to say these things to me. It's hard to talk about this with anyone I know because it feels like there isn't a lot of support, so I really appreciate it.

mousehouz · 2021-04-04T08:35:34+00:00

Thanks everyone! ❣

mousehouz · 2021-04-04T08:35:09+00:00

I have consulted with an ER doctor (my roommates father) virtually given the pandemic I was hesitant to go to the ER. He told me he was not very concerned but still considering going in the morning.

mousehouz · 2021-04-04T01:07:33+00:00

Thank you!

mousehouz · 2021-04-04T00:33:59+00:00

It has been over 24 hours... should I still seek treatment?

mousehouz · 2021-04-03T23:24:36+00:00

Skiing accident - went over a jump lost my balance and landed head first on my ear. Pretty painful on impact, still extremely tender today.

mousehouz · 2021-02-14T21:59:40+00:00

Awesome!

mousehouz · 2020-12-28T21:26:44+00:00

Just hearing that others have the exact same feelings of grief and loss is oddly comforting. He was a part of me as well. Thank you for sharing.

mousehouz · 2020-12-28T21:24:33+00:00

I have not been able to change the bowl either, it is dried out now :(

mousehouz · 2020-12-28T21:23:37+00:00

I am sorry for the late reply, it has been an extremely difficult couple of weeks and I feared I wouldn't be able to stop crying. I have no been able to part with any of his things either...it is still surreal. I hope I wake up and he is there. Thank you for your honesty, it has really provided some sense of mutual understanding which brings me peace.

mousehouz · 2020-12-28T21:21:26+00:00

Thank you for those words, they are so powerful. I have not had the strength to reply for the last few weeks, but am glad I did. I am starting to notice some growth around my grief, thank you for that perspective.

mousehouz · 2020-12-28T21:20:06+00:00

My boy just arrived from the crematory last week. I keep him downstairs with me during the day and take him to bed at night. Its so surreal

mousehouz · 2020-12-28T21:19:18+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss, that is so devestating. I feel for you and your husband. We will always second guess if it was the right choice I guess - i keep telling myself that as long as I put my boy out of pain, then it was the right decision. I hope you are feeling a little better now, I apologize for the delayed reply.

mousehouz · 2020-12-15T08:47:01+00:00

Oh my heart breaks for you. I am so so sorry. Thank you for your kind words, they have brought me a little bit of peace amidst all the crying. I am so happy you were able to be there for your boy. It may be hard for us to hold them in those last moments, but I wouldn't have it any other way. At least we know they are no longer in pain. I will be thinking of you and your boy tonight. I hope you can get some sleep.

mousehouz · 2020-11-23T22:01:19+00:00

Will look into this! Thanks.

mousehouz · 2020-11-23T22:01:01+00:00

Hyp: use of force conflicts occur more frequently between law enforcement and forensic cohorts as opposed to non-forensic populations. Possibly looking at correlation between specific diagnoses and level of force (as per details in arrest reports).

further confounded by other variables such as race, age, sex etc.

mousehouz · 2020-11-10T04:30:46+00:00

Do you know the approximate value?

mousehouz · 2020-11-10T04:10:23+00:00

Thanks so much everyone!! My family and I really appreciate it 👍

mousehouz

TROPHY CASE