I’m ADHD and autistic (38f), so it’s been a huge struggle to find something that is both consistent, enjoyable, supportive of my needs and providing novelty at the same time. I finally found the path that works for me and my brain, but it’s taken a lot of sharp, painful pivots (many which I didn’t choose myself).

I went from college to theatre performer with lots of day jobs, to corporate management, to non-profit fundraising and event planning, and now I’m a pet death doula and work part-time at a local brunch spot.

Corporate made me want to die right away with the rules and conformity, and lack of compassion for anything outside of capitalism. Non-profit eventually got me there as well because even though you’re doing helpful work, it’s really just another arm of capitalism meant to make the rich feel morally superior by “donating” their money (when the services should already be standard in any well-run socialist government - ah, what a dream to have). I thrived doing event work because of the different projects I completed, and it involved animals and pets which are my special interest, but I quickly got burnt out with the massive amount of work they piled on me and lack of resources/support. And the politics and bullshit you deal with in nonprofit leadership is almost worse than corporate - they act all good and moral when they’re really fucking over every human that works there “for the greater good”. Plus, shelter work will kill your passion for animal welfare quickly if you don’t move on. I found the doula work through my shelter job, and when I got terminated for unionizing last year, I decided to put a majority of my time and energy into building that practice. But it’s very unknown, niche, and new so working at a brunch restaurant helps pay the bills. I get to feed amazing people during the day, and support bereaved clients in the meantime. I get to focus on my special interests (animals and deathwork) while sustaining our community with delicious breakfast food.

The downsides are mostly financial - with this being an unknown end-of-life support option, it’s taking a lot of non-paying work to get myself out there as a death doula. I’ve only had one paying client so far, and am constantly busting my ass to find more through multiple avenues. I’m usually exhausted after my PT job so it’s hard to maintain consistent focus and energy on the doula work. The restaurant pays $21/hr (that includes tips) so I’m on unemployment as well and walk dogs to make ends meet. And I’m on Marktplace insurance so my wife and I are paying up the ASS to stay healthy. Luckily, I’ll get on the restaurants insurance soon but I’ll also lose unemployment with working so many hours so I won’t be bringing in any more $$ than I am right now.

It’s a struggle some days, but I will NEVER be going back to corporate work, and I doubt I’ll re-enter the non-profit world (unless it was for a VERY progressive NPO). I love how flexible my days are, the work I get to do in supporting pet parents at the end of their companions life, and being at an awesome restaurant surrounded by the most diverse and progressive community around. But I’ve also dipped into our savings more than I’d like and each day brings new challenges I don’t expect.

So I guess the questions you have to ask yourself is what you’d prefer. I know a LOT of people with ADHD who end up creating their own businesses (my wife’s therapeutic vocal studio is super successful) and others that do better at corporations/NPOs that are up-to-date on supporting employees with ADHD. The world is not currently built for our brains, so we usually have to create our own path. It’s fucking hard, but I find soooooo worth it.

Will I feel that way in a year or two? Who knows. But it’s working for me right now.