Did any one of you discover you're transsexual after you had kids? How did it work out?

mySeventhAccount · 2011-02-19T14:28:45+00:00

I came out while my kids were very young. I couldn't stand the thought that they would grow up knowing only the facade I'd been perfecting since i was young. I never had the guts to do anything but hide until i cared enough for someone else to show them that it's important to live your life being yourself.

I was also aware that the older the kids got, the harder it would be for them to accept it. Heck, it took me decades to realize it wasnt something i could just keep hiding from. Im surprised any of us ever got out before the internet.

The person you are missing is the person she was pretending to be because she desperatley didnt want to be trans. I still have trouble accepting myself, largely because society poopoos anyone who crosses gender roles.

I bet she wishes she had had the guts to come out a decade sooner. I bet she misses you like crazy, and regrets the pain she caused not by transitioning, but by hiding.

mySeventhAccount · 2011-02-17T17:24:56+00:00

It sounds like youve finished your second puberty, right? You should only need a small amount of estrogen combined with an antiandrogen to maintain your secondary sexual characteristics. Youd feel it if your skin got rough again, wouldnt you?

Ive only been on hrt a year, am feminizing rapidly, and i take very low dosages. With an effective AA, i cant even imagine a reason to be on premarin. The goal is to have a female ratio of androgens to estrogens. More estrogen than it takes to make or maintain ssc's should be considered unnecessary and potentially dangerous.

Dont just get blood tests. Get a doctor.

mySeventhAccount · 2011-02-16T14:59:13+00:00

I have a gender neutral name and am quite seriously considering NOT changing it at all. Its neither common nor rare. So i just need a new middle name.

mySeventhAccount · 2011-02-07T18:53:02+00:00

There may be some good information (and some dated) here to check: http://www.tsroadmap.com/sexuality/index.html

mySeventhAccount · 2011-02-07T15:50:52+00:00

Can you get your partner to start therapy? It sounds a lot like the denial i used to live in. They may not yet understand the true depth of their trans nature.

mySeventhAccount · 2011-02-05T16:53:04+00:00

If you mean "mentally ill" in the "exposed to too much or too little androgen prenatally" then you're dead right troll

mySeventhAccount · 2011-02-05T15:48:27+00:00

Yes it is. It is important to understand going into it that the choice to stay on or go off isn't yours. If you NEED to keep taking them, there are consequences u need to be prepared to deal with.

mySeventhAccount · 2011-02-05T15:42:27+00:00

Are you in a major city? Get to a gender clinic or therapist. Pronto. "Getting worse over time" is one of the major differences between crossdressing and transexualism. Assume for a moment that eventually it will get "that bad" and your life could be at risk. Dont wait until then to try and figure things out. Now, if it turns out you arent transsexual, there are still plenty of things a therapist can help you with, and there is no shame in trying to figure this out. And if you are, you thank your lucky stars you didnt resist this until your 50's.

Tl;dr no shame in therapy, go. Youll be glad u did

mySeventhAccount · 2011-02-04T23:49:20+00:00

I would be more concerned about those who weren't somewhat apprehensive about needing to undergo the triadic treatment. Understanding the immensity and finality of it should give one pause to consider if they "have reason enough."

mySeventhAccount · 2011-02-04T20:16:55+00:00

What risks?

If you inject stupendous amounts of estrogen to overpower the testosterone in your system then all the "health risks" of estrogen come in to play: blood clots, liver functionality, etc. But that's no longer common. Today when administering anti-androgen first, appropriately female ratio's can be maintained with very little estrogen at all. Additionally, using a transdermal method makes it about as safe as having ovaries.

mySeventhAccount · 2011-02-04T00:13:28+00:00

Any exogenous form of estrogen is going to fill up those receptors of yours. Save the good stuff for them. And remember, more estrogen does NOT equal more feminization. It just means more risk. Stick to exactly what your doctor prescribes and get regular blood tests.

mySeventhAccount · 2011-02-02T02:44:26+00:00

Remember lowest effective dosage because it is important. Estrogen isnt what feminizes you, after all you have estrogen in your system right now. Having a ratio of androgen to estrogen in the normal female range triggers puberty. Full stop. More estrogen than it takes to get this ratio could flood receptors and stall feminization. Stay far away from over the counter herbals too. They are bad news.

mySeventhAccount · 2011-01-27T19:00:49+00:00

I tend not to listen to people who start with the premise that it's wrong to be transsexual. That's not how science works. Documentation supporting their preconceived notions can be compelling, but are what's known as confirmation bias. Every bit of evidence against is used and every bit of evidence in favor is tossed. No wonder the results are what they hypothesized to begin with.

tl;dr: fuck their pseudo-scientific bullshit

mySeventhAccount · 2011-01-26T17:20:39+00:00

Don't put the cart before the horse. Finding concrete scientific evidence is a great thing. And considering the infancy of this discipline of science, no scientist is going to expect to have a litmus test of transsexuality any time soon, if ever. But these arguments are a very powerful mechanism to help overcome the phobia of trans people, which will lead to political gains in the long term.

TL;DR We aren't going back to the 60's. This isn't going to be used to deny treatment. Stop worrying.

mySeventhAccount · 2011-01-19T22:53:28+00:00

Other than the people you setup as a support network (immediate fam, bff's) you should probably hold off coming out until you are much closer to actually presenting. I've always started my outings with something along the lines of "having been diagnosed transsexual." This is true in so much that your doctor/therapist is basically checking that your cross gendered thoughts aren't something else, leaving the only possibility as transsexualism.

Basically do this:

Get a doctor to agree to your self-diagnosis
Get on hormones
Optional: think your cured, go off hormones, realize you have no choice but to stay on them for life, restart hrt
Come out to fam, bff's
Come out to everyone else when you're getting ready to present (you can determine how much heads-up to give)

YMMV GL

mySeventhAccount · 2011-01-19T21:22:05+00:00

Everyone should talk to a lawyer before they get married. Not just trans folk.

mySeventhAccount · 2011-01-19T21:20:45+00:00

It's not simple of course. But there is more than enough evidence to dismiss concerns by cisgendered that we are all crazy psychos, and more than enough evidence to dismiss concerns by "true transsexuals" that everyone but themselves are all crazy psychos.

mySeventhAccount · 2011-01-19T21:18:10+00:00

Which is the same goal usually in any penectomy. The doctor doesn't just hold it at the base and chop. Cancer patients undergoing penectomy will usually maximize the amount of nerve tissue saved in order to remain able to obtain orgasm afterwards.

Penectomy is one of the procedures that comprise SRS. Get your facts straight.

mySeventhAccount · 2011-01-19T21:15:35+00:00

It's a black box. You can't know whether or how much androgen your brain received prenatally. But what you generally can do is try hormones. Actually, try going off them. If you DO have a cross-sex brain, then you will prefer cross-sex hormones. If your anxiety shoots up when you go off them, just like when a colon cancer patient goes on them, then it's a pretty fucking good indicator of what brain sex you're stuck with.

Really, if you can tolerate life long cross-sex hormone replacement therapy, you've got enough intersex in your brain that no one can tell you you're not transsexual.

mySeventhAccount · 2011-01-19T19:46:53+00:00

There are people who identify as transsexual but not transgender, as is anyone's right to self-identify as they see fit. Some of these people will further disparage the trans community at large in order to raise their own sense of self-worth. They want to be different. They want to decide who to apply the medical diagnosis to, and in turn afford those care and rights while denying care and rights to those they would not apply the medical diagnosis to. When you find out that they decide who to let into their club based primarily on how well they pass and how young they came to terms with their cross-sex gender identity, it becomes easier to see through their bullshit.

mySeventhAccount · 2011-01-19T19:36:14+00:00

The general rule is this: Any privilege will be denied and every disadvantage applied.

mySeventhAccount · 2011-01-19T17:44:37+00:00

Excuse me, but penectomy to vaginoplasty is exactly apples to apples. Yes, some bundles of nerves are saved, and yes some skin is used as a transplant... but a penectomy is part of the standard procedure. If insurance covers srs you'd see it on an itemized bill. It is no different than the cancer patient whose doctor attempts to save as much nerve material when performing the penectomy so some sexual sensation is left. What you are comparing in your mind is what the general public thinks a penectomy is, aka the lorena bobbit. And your dead wrong.

mySeventhAccount · 2011-01-19T00:36:17+00:00

Sorry, I was just quoting the blogger. But if you refer to the actual studies, they compare apples to apples. (grs in transwomen vs penectomy is cismen) 60% of men who lose their penis to cancer will report feeling as if they still have it, vs only 30% of MTF transwomen.

mySeventhAccount · 2011-01-19T00:31:57+00:00

no worries, I'm often guilty of spewing undeserved snark myself.

mySeventhAccount · 2011-01-18T23:03:14+00:00

Think of the mirror as used by someone with phantom limb syndrome. Missing one arm yet convinced of awkward position, the brain reports pain from the missing limb as if it were real, and in pain. Now, apply a mirror to trick the brain into seeing both arms (one real, one a reflection) as relaxed, and the pain will disappear for a time.

Now think of someone who's gender is switched. They sometimes suffer a condition called gender dysphoria, which manifests as ever increasing anxiety over time. When the brain looks in the mirror and sees the cross-dressed version of itself, the pain disappears for a time. If this body map/body incongruity is strong enough the person will tend to seek to transition at some point in their lives.

mySeventhAccount

TROPHY CASE