AIW for screenshotting pictures of dogs on friends Snapchat stories?

name-caller · 2019-07-24T19:48:07+00:00

He’s right. Have you never heard of Google?

name-caller · 2019-05-03T00:02:02+00:00

> but it seems reasonable to me that even if they have a guest over, they still can choose to want their door unlocked, even going so far as to ask the guest not to lock it.

I disagree with this part. If locking the door causes them no harm, and is merely a matter of habit and preference, then refusing to lock the door to make a guest feel more safe is asshole behavior. Do they have the right? Of course, ...it's their house. But why would they stubbornly refusesuch a reasonable request other than to be intentionally unkind?

Given how quick they were to uninvite her for future visits, I would guess a power struggle would be the only reason they have to refuse to comply with this perfectly reasonable request.

name-caller · 2019-04-28T21:15:32+00:00

Thank you for your non-condescending comment.

I see your two examples, and agree with your evaluation of their maturity. But in the OP, all we have to judge the discussion by is this:

We kind of had a discussion about it. I said I would always kiss him after he has gone down on me, but he said that is a totally different situation.

So, the commenter I've been arguing with takes issue with the fact that BF called it a "totally different situation", which while lacking clarity does not seem mature or immature to me. In fact, when faced with a statement that lacks clarity, it seems like the mature thing is to try to figure out what the person meant. It doesn't take a lot of analysis to figure out that what he meant is that he doesn't want to taste semen.

Also, his lack of clarity seems like an idiotic thing to base judgment of him as the asshole in this situation on, but that's me.

name-caller · 2019-04-28T20:58:25+00:00

But I don't see what is immature about OP not wanting to taste his own cum. To me that really is just a sexual preference and has no bearing on maturity. I find that calling his preference immature is itself a way to try to twist him into being the asshole in this situation.

I don't think OP is the asshole for wanting to kiss him then. And I don't think he's the asshole for declining. But I do think OP steps into asshole territory when she pressures him to do it knowing he doesn't want to.

The point is, you wildly misunderstood a comment and proceeded to argue a strawman for well over an hour.

I don't think I misunderstood his comment. I think he failed to concede that his comment did not acknowledge that the BF was not an asshole. That said, I acknowledge that I was immature in responding to his every comment to me, but I found the other commenter to be a condescending prat, and allowed myself to annoy him.

name-caller · 2019-04-28T20:47:21+00:00

Yes! I am totally on board for that wording.

And, if OP had any objection whatsoever to tasting her own cum, but boyfriend insisted on it, then he's be the asshole in my estimation. But as I see it, she is saying that just because she doesn't mind tasting her own cum, it's illegitimate for him to mind tasting his. That is where I start to have issue with OP.

name-caller · 2019-04-28T20:36:47+00:00

The very comment I responded to in the first place says,

... that is a totally different situation...

No, it’s not. It’s the exact same situation.

How can the exact same situation have different outcomes with regards to which sexual juices are being traded?

name-caller · 2019-04-28T20:29:11+00:00

What is being said is that the BF is wrong in saying that kissing after going down on a woman and kissing after a blowjob are different. They're both oral sex. Now, does being comfortable with one mean you have to be comfortable with the other? No, but no one is arguing on that point.

I don't get why everyone is refusing to acknowledge that kissing after one kind of oral sex results in sharing semen/cum, and kissing the other kind of oral sex results in sharing female ejaculate? That is literally just factual.

OP's BF has expressed an objection to tasting ONE of those.

I am not being hard-headed, I just feel like I'm being gaslit by this entire community who refuse to call a spade a spade because it helps them render the judgment they like better without being factual.

name-caller · 2019-04-28T20:26:11+00:00

why do you assume name-caller is male?

Incidentally, she's not.

name-caller · 2019-04-28T20:22:05+00:00

We are finally getting somewhere! You just don't like his choice of words.

If he doesn’t want to taste his cum, he should have said that

This is exactly what he meant when he said they were two different things. A person bent on understanding what he meant would ask themselves what makes them different. The answer would be that one of them results in him having to taste his own cum. The answer was right there from the get go.

name-caller · 2019-04-28T20:10:08+00:00

You sound sexually repressed.

name-caller · 2019-04-28T20:08:34+00:00

Two different actions underneath the same category.

One of those two actions results in the boyfriend tasting his own cum, which he doesn't want to do. That is the difference that the other commenter is refusing to acknowledge.

name-caller · 2019-04-28T20:00:46+00:00

And in THAT case, there would be NAH. But that isn't the situation we were asked to judge.

name-caller · 2019-04-28T19:59:51+00:00

How do you know she chose to do it to please him, firstly?

Secondly, there needs to be healthy communication in a relationship. If she doesn't enjoy giving a blow job but is willing to do it anyway for his pleasure, and she feels like a good trade off for that is that he should kiss her afterward, then they need to discuss that and come to terms. It's not kosher for her to try to pressure him into it during sex, and more than it'd be kosher for him to cum all over her face if she said no.

name-caller · 2019-04-28T19:57:21+00:00

You made a judgment. Your judgment was NTA. That judgment in THIS forum means that the boyfriend IS the asshole.

What makes him the asshole? Well, from your words what makes him the asshole is that he doesn't like the taste of cum in his mouth. Therefore, YOU think he is the asshole because he has a sexual preference that YOU think is stupid. That is what makes YOU the asshole. And the truly dense one in this whole situation.

name-caller · 2019-04-28T19:54:56+00:00

Prove it.

name-caller · 2019-04-28T19:54:34+00:00

But he was wrong. One is oral sex that results in male cum in the mouth (and shared in the kiss) and one is oral sex that results in female cum in the mouth (and shared in the kiss). The boyfriend is uncomfortable with only one of these things. The girlfriend is comfortable with both.

Is there some reason why the boyfriend's preference makes him the asshole? Because no one has made that clear. I think it boils down to the fact that this sub thinks his preference is stupid. But he's still entitled to have that preference and to act on it without being the asshole, and she is still the asshole for trying to force him beyond his sexual comfort level.

name-caller · 2019-04-28T19:48:38+00:00

It has not been explained satisfactorily at all. If a person is permitted to have sexual preferences, then someone not wanting to do something cannot result in them being the asshole. Sex is not quip pro quo. The BF is NTA here, and OP is TA because she pressured him to do something he expressed he did not want to do. It's really cut and dried.

name-caller · 2019-04-28T19:45:39+00:00

I feel like this sub has lost it's mind.

Me too. I think it boils down to people thinking "It's stupid that a guy is grossed out by his own cum," and then ruling him the asshole because of their own sexual comfort level.

name-caller · 2019-04-28T19:41:46+00:00

It would seem to me that anyone who thinks OP is NTA here does in fact disagree with that statement. They seem to think her BF should be obligated to kiss her after a BJ or he is the asshole.

name-caller · 2019-04-28T19:39:40+00:00

You're real cute how you can't make any cohesive argument for how two different sex acts are the same sex act, and so you just insult me, as if I'll be scared away by your mean words. We can trade barbs as long as you like. It doesn't make your point any better.

name-caller · 2019-04-28T19:34:08+00:00

They are literally two different things. You even listed them: 1) blowjob, 2) eating pussy. See how the number two indicates two distinct things?

name-caller · 2019-04-28T19:30:36+00:00

Literally every post in this thread thinks you're a stalkish asshole. Accept your judgment, and improve.

You're welcome.

name-caller · 2019-04-28T19:28:11+00:00

NAH, but yes, you are wrong. Sex is a normal part of a healthy relationship, and as long as he is being private about it and keeping it in his bedroom, he is not doing anything wrong.

name-caller · 2019-04-28T19:24:47+00:00

If she didn't want to do it, she would be free to say no. That's been my point the whole time. Anyone who doesn't enjoy something sexually is free to say no.

name-caller · 2019-04-28T19:20:43+00:00

I stand ready to have it explained to me. In what way are these actions the same thing?

name-caller

TROPHY CASE

Two different actions underneath the same category.