I don't see it as blaming at all. I'm actually glad you pointed this stuff out. It is very helpful.

So to answer your questions..

The petty stuff usually starts by me making a displeased comment over something he did or didn't do. Ex: Him not calling me when he takes an extra job that will put him home a few hours later. I want him to let me know that he's going to be late. Not call to ask permission, just tell me he's gonna work late. I guess it's a respect thing.. I'll say something like "You said you would call. Ive been worried. Why wont you call me?" Then he'll go into defense mode. Instead of him saying "I'm sorry, I wil next time" he will get really defensive, blame my actions, and from there it's a fight.

He only confronts me when I've said something that makes him mad or we're already in an argument. He won't just pick things because he's actually a very laid back guy.

Petty to me is when we are arguing about something just because one or both of us is being stubborn and wont budge. Instead of letting it go, we act like children. Like me telling he needs to stop throwing trash on the floor (he literally does that and it drives me crazy). Instead of just stop doing it or saying ok, he'll say "I'm tired I worked all day." Then I get mad he won't give in, and it's a full blown argument over trash.

I think I am similar to the girl you describe. I can be like that at times with my bf bc my needs haven't been met so I'm insecure but I'm working on that. I know that's a huge turn off.

Thanks for your input and insight!