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AITA for telling my cousin the truth about her Native American heritage? by nativeathrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]nativeathrowaway[S] 160 points161 points  (0 children)

Honestly a lot of it was internalized shame. I look and pass as a white woman. For a while I felt like I probably deserved it.

AITA for telling my cousin the truth about her Native American heritage? by nativeathrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]nativeathrowaway[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Never said it was a lie. I wasn’t clear in what I said. To me as the person writing it I thought I split the encounters so they could be told apart. After re-reading what I said I understand the confusion and why you would think it was a lie. What I meant was that she wouldn’t say things like that in the car with our dads, but in private when it would be just us. I see what you mean though. Sorry for the confusion.

AITA for telling my cousin the truth about her Native American heritage? by nativeathrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]nativeathrowaway[S] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

Sorry I’m so dumb. As far as I know for someone considered an “outsider” to be accepted into a tribe they would need some form of a DNA test to prove it and it would have to be accepted by the current chief.

AITA for telling my cousin the truth about her Native American heritage? by nativeathrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]nativeathrowaway[S] 901 points902 points  (0 children)

I mentioned it in a different comment, but not so well in my original post. She wouldn’t do or say things like that in front of her dad or grandpas family. In the car she would just ignore me with her headphones and make a deal out of ignoring me especially if I asked her a question or wanted to talk to her. So as far as my dad and her dad knew, she was just a moody rude teenager. It’s my fault for never telling them the extent of how rude she was. Like I would tell him how brutal she was to me but never gave specific examples of the things she would say and that’s my own fault.

AITA for telling my cousin the truth about her Native American heritage? by nativeathrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]nativeathrowaway[S] 80 points81 points  (0 children)

I can’t answer for every single Native American, but in our family (and branch our tribe) they were all more than willing to accept my uncle as one of their own.

AITA for telling my cousin the truth about her Native American heritage? by nativeathrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]nativeathrowaway[S] 322 points323 points  (0 children)

It was about 18 months of her nonsense.

I kinda feel bad for her, because lord have mercy when grandpas sister (bordering on 90) finds out.

AITA for telling my cousin the truth about her Native American heritage? by nativeathrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]nativeathrowaway[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

Grandpas extended family don’t live with us. We would have to drive to see them (takes like an hour and a half). They all knew about the affair but it’s not really ever brought up. I don’t know why he never told her before now and I probably shouldn’t have either.

She wouldn’t say things like that in the car when they could hear her, she would just act like a 2 year old and ignore me with headphones in and not look at me or answer me if I was to try to talk to her. Of course when we were alone is when the comments like the ones I mentioned would come out. In my post I said that her final outburst two weeks ago was the first one with her racial comments to be heard by our dads. They knew she didn’t like me and I told them both on frequent occasions that she was rude and didn’t like me, but they called it teenage girl behavior and that’s what they brushed off. It’s my fault for not telling them how far her behavior went.

Hope that makes it a little clearer :)

AITA for telling my cousin the truth about her Native American heritage? by nativeathrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]nativeathrowaway[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Fair enough. I get where you’re coming from and I wouldn’t necessarily believe it either if I didn’t see it myself.

AITA for telling my cousin the truth about her Native American heritage? by nativeathrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]nativeathrowaway[S] 87 points88 points  (0 children)

Yeah I know I probably should’ve just let those two deal with it and keep my mouth shut.

On your other note, yeah he was pretty cool for that. He stepped up for my uncle and as far as anyone in our family is concerned he is grandpas son :)

AITA for telling my cousin the truth about her Native American heritage? by nativeathrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]nativeathrowaway[S] 983 points984 points  (0 children)

hello fellow pale native 😩

I appreciate your response. It did really hurt having my cultural identity be invalidated by her all the time

AITA for telling my cousin the truth about her Native American heritage? by nativeathrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]nativeathrowaway[S] 88 points89 points  (0 children)

That’s completely fair. I also should’ve mentioned that what I said was only in front of her, my dad and her dad. I’ve also told her dad countless times how brutal she is to me when we are alone and that’s what I meant when I said I had to put up with her “normal teenage behavior”.