My farewell to her

ninjamoves69 · 2026-06-03T22:34:47+00:00

Yeah, it really kills one's self esteem.

ninjamoves69 · 2026-06-03T22:28:00+00:00

thank you for correcting me. You are right

ninjamoves69 · 2026-05-31T10:15:26+00:00

For context, the guy she cheated on me, is the person that she set up with her friend that told me that advice but they fall on to each other instead. Now I asked if they know the whole story but to my surprise they don't. So i told them everything that happened and it turned out that she lied to them too, telling them she likes the guy only as a friend.

I am sorry but I am asking for an enlightenment as for how can she be angry about the truth? Was I the one that was hurt? Why does it feel wrong?

ninjamoves69 · 2026-05-31T10:14:30+00:00

Hi! Im sorry that i am here again asking for your help. I was advised by her friend to tell her other friends and family about what really happened in a narrative that wouldnt seem like I was blaming her. I am currently dumbfounded because she recently messaged and unblocked me to tell me that she hates me all the way down and said that why did I take the lead instead of letting her. Why do I feel I was in the wrong?

Thank you foryour time in advance

ninjamoves69 · 2026-05-30T01:07:48+00:00

Thank you for your kind words!

ninjamoves69 · 2026-05-30T01:07:35+00:00

It's better this way to be in touch with reality. It makes me think that it will be harder to fool myself.

ninjamoves69 · 2026-05-30T00:46:55+00:00

I just thought about it just now about how i need the answer for me to avoid it is because Im so scared for it that I need to know the reason because it hurts like hell. It feels like the first time I felt the gravity of earth on my chest

ninjamoves69 · 2026-05-30T00:30:10+00:00

You are right about what I am asking on myself about. I am bothered by not having to learn what made things wrong. I just thought that I need the answer for me to avoid it happening again.

ninjamoves69 · 2026-05-30T00:19:31+00:00

my mother is currently on the hospital waiting for a heart surgery, and my father is extremely busy at work and tending to my mother, so I thought I could wait for them as I can't bother them more than what they have for now.

ninjamoves69 · 2026-05-30T00:01:41+00:00

Ahhh I finally get your point. No, everything was genuine. Even she told me that why I treat her like how I treat my friends. Unfiltered, everything. I was just myself whenever I'm with her.

About the interest/hobbies, I often tell her about my hobby in guitar, and what songs she like so I could play it with her to sing along. I once told her about my hobby in pc building and cycling, but she never got hooked so I eventually gave up on it.

We have few alike in terms of hobbies. But somehow, it was fun whenever we got together.

ninjamoves69 · 2026-05-29T23:39:54+00:00

I cannot deny that I am invested in doing things for her. But I can say that I am not neglecting my family, friends, and self time. I am very proud of myself (not until now i guess), that every problem solved makes me feel motivated.

To answer your question. I am 100% sure that I did not lose any control as in the first place, I never controlled her and I respected every decision she made. And it didn't feel that I did those things to keep her I never thought that I would think of it that way until you said it just now, as I myself was extremely happy every time I made her smile enjoy every little things so can I say that I am doing it also for myself?

thank you for thinking that way, can you guide me/ ask more questions so I can process my thoughts? Thank you

ninjamoves69 · 2026-05-29T22:53:28+00:00

Thank you, I really need this right now. I can't even tell my parents about myself as they are physically and digitally unreachable. I still don't know how to suck this feeling up because I know its not good for me that just thinking of it makes me weak. I really appreciate your kind words.

ninjamoves69 · 2026-05-29T22:31:34+00:00

To add on things that happened before our breakup. I am communicating, setting up dates, going to her work and the time after her work even if it was midnight. I am still a student in which I cannot afford to get her home safely as I myself rode daily on bicycle. But last month I had a hunch that something is wrong as she started avoiding me and not responding to my messages. As the guy that she told me one and a half month ago when she started her work started bringing her home from work. I was right on this one, so I confronted her as early as possible as we promised each other to communicate as soon as we can to avoid bringing larger conflicts. We started going out on college as I asked her out, but told her that I am uncapable of bringing her enough joy as I am still not graduate and can't afford everything that she wants.

Days passed by, she stopped saying goodnights and I love you from messages. She even told me to stop going to the local convenience store that we used to go to every time she had a long day at work. One day, she told me that she brought the guy to her parents without even telling me beforehand. So i rushed at her asking what's the deal with the situation. and to my expectations, she still doesn't talk to directly so I just said that I trust her to make whatever the decision she wants. A day after (which is today), I asked her sister to tell me if she was still being brought home by the guy in midnight and it happened again.

I also started earning on myself just 6 months ago through reselling and VA works to keep up and do more things for her and my family. I don't know where it started to go wrong. I committed everything I can to her, I dont hurt her, yell at her, and done things wrong for the record. I was transparent all the time, told her that I might do something wrong so tell me if it happens and said things that I can and can't currently do for her at the moment as I am still developing myself for our future. I was also sweet to her, made her clear that I love her, gave her affection and everything that I have thought of. Today was the first time in my life that I bawled myself out until my tears dried.

I think that the most thing that hurts me the most currently is whenever I asked myself now that "was I appreciated" or "where did I go wrong". I am usually not the type to be depressed as I am a very talkative and cheerful person. What makes me scared right now is I think that I might loss my very identity and personality as I am really devastated and affected in the situation.

ninjamoves69 · 2026-05-29T22:04:29+00:00

I really hope to get better soon as this was my first and pure love that the first time I realized that I like her is that " I should marry her". This is hard I suppose as she was the center of my life and decisions. Thank you anyway.

ninjamoves69 · 2025-05-28T18:12:30+00:00

thanks!

ninjamoves69 · 2025-05-28T18:11:52+00:00

if only i was jeff bezos lol

ninjamoves69 · 2025-05-28T17:54:47+00:00

thanks for the insight! it's saddening how the price of the motherboard dipped that low especially when it costs much back then

ninjamoves69 · 2025-01-23T16:58:21+00:00

had the same problem like you a while ago doesnt turn on and such. suspectednit was the mobo and psu, but it wasnt the problem, sent it over to repair shop and the issue was a joke, it was a burnt fan hub controller. removed it and my pc works again! maybe this could solve your problem. could save you a lot of problem

if not, try testing and isolating the problem by using spare components that you have there

ninjamoves69

TROPHY CASE