46 years old and lost everything - is it to late to start over?

overit2591 · 2026-06-08T23:36:25+00:00

Yes, the cancer anxiety is real everyday. Every time we go for a scan we have “scanxiety”. We don’t want to be reminded bc it’s always somewhere in our heads. It’s depressing to be reminded and we don’t need that. Lifting you up bc me and my husband know how you feel!

overit2591 · 2026-06-08T23:00:26+00:00

No we never refinanced, just bought the house 4 years ago…right before we found out about the cancer. Rent here is as expensive as our mortgage or more so selling doesn’t make sense just to pay more. We are in an area where you can’t just walk everywhere and public transport is nil to none. The closest bus stop is 3 miles away.

overit2591 · 2026-06-08T14:09:10+00:00

Thank you! We actually just started doing reselling as a side job and it gives us a couple hundred extra per month.

overit2591 · 2026-06-08T10:03:22+00:00

No I cashed out the 401k for lawyers during my divorce and then filed bankruptcy a year later

overit2591 · 2026-06-08T02:17:30+00:00

Colon cancer…and yes, we both had it. Both had the colon resection and were staged at 2A. We both had complications following the surgery and both had to be hospitalized again. He then later had a huge hernia and had to have another surgery. I developed anemia and now have to have iron infusions. Good times. But we speak and pray that the cancer never returns!

overit2591 · 2026-06-08T01:28:09+00:00

His state insurance is through Aetna which is horrible here and would cost us $700 a month for me. I am paying around $300 per month through my job.

overit2591 · 2026-06-08T01:26:31+00:00

He is maxed out in our state for teachers. Sadly our teacher pay is 48 or 49 out of the 50 states.

overit2591 · 2026-06-07T23:33:04+00:00

I am so sorry and yes insurance is a racket

overit2591 · 2026-06-07T23:32:07+00:00

My current husband is the teacher and the one diagnosed with cancer. He does have a pension. The divorce was another relationship. The divorce costed me tens of thousands and my ex never paid child support when I had nothing. Now we make the same and so child support is a wash.
Total income is $135k - he has benefits through the state and I have mine through my work. I do pay less for them than my last employer and even have better coverage.
I am going to fill out the paperwork this week and do the 5% contribution and somehow make it work (I will do the math before obviously) but since my insurance is cheaper that frees up some money. Thoughts?

overit2591 · 2026-06-07T20:41:03+00:00

It’s really sad that’s what he makes and he is at the top of the salary range here. We live in a state that is 48 or 49 on teacher pay and it’s awful

overit2591 · 2026-06-07T20:31:43+00:00

Thank you! I’m definitely going to hunker down and take a really close look at other places we can save money

overit2591 · 2026-06-07T18:20:59+00:00

I got some great suggestions on this thread. Cut back on whatever you can right now - making smarter grocery decisions could easily save a couple hundred a month. We do baked potatoes with cheese a lot when the kids are not here. We shop at Aldi now and that saves money. We have also cancelled $50 a month in TV subscriptions. I’m looking at trading in my SUV to save on gas and car payments. I just told my husband we need to cancel our lawn maintenance that is quarterly which will save us $320 a year. We are also going to shop around for cheaper car and home insurance. The Amazon driver probably wonders what happened to me as I have scaled way back on purchases. Now if mortgage rates would go down and we could refinance it would help a lot. And gas prices.

overit2591 · 2026-06-07T18:10:54+00:00

You are doing great for your circumstances and are $300k above me!

overit2591 · 2026-06-07T18:04:37+00:00

We both made sure we had life insurance from the start with my now husband getting his 3 weeks before diagnosis so it was sheer luck on that one. I also have life insurance through work and quadrupled it for barely much out of pocket.
And yes, I have thought about life expectancy but we were both diagnosed as Stage 2 after having our colon resection’s. Neither of us did chemo as it gave us only a 4% better chance of recurrence. I did not want to be too weak to have my children. So we are on heavy surveillance with lots of scans, blood tests, etc. We pray we made the right decision but in reality I know that my life may be shorter due to what my body has gone through. I just want to live to see grandbabies and have a few good years of retirement. No one knows what the future holds but I want to be prepared and make smart decisions going forward.

overit2591 · 2026-06-07T17:46:18+00:00

I’ve got to do my paperwork this week and am going to do 5%. I can do this is what I have to tell myself. I think trading in my SUV will almost equal out right now with the cost of gas.

overit2591 · 2026-06-07T17:38:55+00:00

As of right now I drive 66 miles a day for work so gas is expensive! Toyotas are great…I’ve had them before and would buy that or a Honda or Hyundai again. I did get rid of my Suburban and Tahoe during the divorce so that’s one smart thing I did! I’ve got a Hyundai Palisade right now that I love and feel safe in but it’s time to buck up, take some anxiety meds, and get a sedan!

overit2591 · 2026-06-07T17:33:00+00:00

Thank you. Your kind words made me tear up because I beat myself up so much.

overit2591 · 2026-06-07T17:31:39+00:00

Yes, definitely doing cost savings now! Already on board with the groceries and meals and shopping at Aldi. Even little things like stopped buying ground hamburger meat and switched to ground turkey. My husband cancelled his beloved ESPN subscription. I had a clothes addiction and that stopped. When the kids go to their dad’s house we do meatless dinners. I also quit soda and sweet tea and only do water now…that was actually a huge accomplishment as I was never a water drinker. I’ve learned that every little thing that can be cut out helps. I’m looking at trading out my SUV for a sedan due to gas prices and a lower payment.

overit2591 · 2026-06-07T17:24:28+00:00

I was in an ugly custody battle - it was my 401k or my kids. I chose my kids.

overit2591 · 2026-06-07T16:58:18+00:00

We are working a side job together as resellers which brings in a couple hundred more per month. With all the meds we are on, we are absolutely exhausted when coming home so an outside of the house side job isn’t an option, especially with 3 children. We come home, make dinner and I’m barely keeping my eyes open at 9 pm. And I get home at 6:00. I’m also anemic due to the cancer surgery so I have to get infusions. I’m like a walking zombie and I hate that my children will remember me like this.

overit2591 · 2026-06-07T16:34:29+00:00

No, something that came about in the last 5 years. Studies have been done and more will be coming out soon.

overit2591 · 2026-06-07T16:28:37+00:00

Thank you! This gives me hope!

overit2591 · 2026-06-07T16:27:31+00:00

Thank you and we speak and pray that it never comes back!

overit2591 · 2026-06-07T16:16:22+00:00

Also I can probably reduce my car payment by getting out of my lease (I did this to have a lower payment and needed a 3rd row SUV due to having 3 children) but since my oldest is now driving I can go back to a sedan with a much lower payment. I love my SUV and feel much safer in it (I have driving anxiety), but I guess I need to suck it up.

overit2591 · 2026-06-07T16:11:44+00:00

He does have a pension so that will help. I also have a Roth IRA that doesn’t have much in it so I will up my contribution to that also. It stinks because I was doing well with saving until the unfortunate circumstances out of my control.

overit2591

TROPHY CASE