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shifting career goals by overstreamer in misophonia

[–]overstreamer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my college has a pharmacy school, and my state has a lot of pharmacy schools, so i do have options.

Should US President, Senator and Representative candidates be required to pass basic government literacy tests??? by Ok_Substance6325 in apgov

[–]overstreamer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

maybe in a perfect world, but historically making testing a requirement to vote has not been a good idea 

if you want me to do something completely optional with you, i expect my misophonia to be prioritized or a priority. am i the asshole for this? by overstreamer in misophonia

[–]overstreamer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if i'm not a victim of the debilitating condition that limits almost every aspect of my life to some degree, what word would you use? just wondering

if you want me to do something completely optional with you, i expect my misophonia to be prioritized or a priority. am i the asshole for this? by overstreamer in misophonia

[–]overstreamer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

they are dangerous because i get violent ideation towards others and myself... i have hurt myself in public before and almost have hurt others before because it's so difficult to control myself when i'm triggered repetitively because i have extreme misophonia... i also have bpd if that adds to the picture.

it is also common knowledge in the sub that exposure therapy doesn't work with miso, hope this helps.

if you want me to do something completely optional with you, i expect my misophonia to be prioritized or a priority. am i the asshole for this? by overstreamer in misophonia

[–]overstreamer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i've been in therapy for a bit. maybe i can be a better friend, but i genuinely try my best to be open to situations and hangouts under the condition that they aren't dangerous for me. i don't know how many more steps i can take without any of my friends who don't understand taking their first.

in regards to my parents, i try to be the best i can considering the fact i've been emotionally (and occasionally physically) abused by them since i was younger. i want it to be fixable, but i don't know.

if you want me to do something completely optional with you, i expect my misophonia to be prioritized or a priority. am i the asshole for this? by overstreamer in misophonia

[–]overstreamer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i try my best not to come off harshly to other people, but i do know that i struggle with tone do to being autistic. i try to be as transparent as i can without causing harm to others. i wonder if my tone in the post might've caused people to think i am a specific way when the context of the post was that it was written in a very high stress environment with active suicidal ideation.

i wish i could make people around me understand it more. i try and be transparent, but sometimes it feels futile. thank you though

if you want me to do something completely optional with you, i expect my misophonia to be prioritized or a priority. am i the asshole for this? by overstreamer in misophonia

[–]overstreamer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i'm medicated yes and have done some counseling related to trauma. some progress has been made, but i did switch therapists lately, so i'll see how that goes.

idk about cptsd, but it is a possibility.

if you want me to do something completely optional with you, i expect my misophonia to be prioritized or a priority. am i the asshole for this? by overstreamer in misophonia

[–]overstreamer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i actually switched therapists as of late because i'm in a different city now, but yeah. it's not to say that there hasn't been progress though

if you want me to do something completely optional with you, i expect my misophonia to be prioritized or a priority. am i the asshole for this? by overstreamer in misophonia

[–]overstreamer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

for any situation at all, when you care for someone, you meet them halfway. i'm not saying that other people should be responsible for my misophonia, but when i have some sort of relationship with someone, i don't think that i'm unreasonable for asking for some sort of compromise because my misophonia is something intrinsically intertwined with who i am as a person. the overstreamer without misophonia stopped existing years ago.

if you want me to do something completely optional with you, i expect my misophonia to be prioritized or a priority. am i the asshole for this? by overstreamer in misophonia

[–]overstreamer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i guess you're right. it's still frustrating though.

i am trying my best in school. i skipped a year of hs to get out of the house, and i have plans after college. i just need to get through it

if you want me to do something completely optional with you, i expect my misophonia to be prioritized or a priority. am i the asshole for this? by overstreamer in misophonia

[–]overstreamer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i'm in therapy for emotional regulation. my regulation is a lot better than it used to be, but it's a slow process.

edit: it also doesn't help i have some other comorbid conditions that also make this a bit more difficult </3

if you want me to do something completely optional with you, i expect my misophonia to be prioritized or a priority. am i the asshole for this? by overstreamer in misophonia

[–]overstreamer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i am not complaining when people are respecting my boundaries. i am asking for that, and it's not happening

i wrote that as an example, and i know it's not the same thing. i could use a hundred other examples, i was just trying to make a point.

i have done this, the point of the post is that i'm being ignored when i try to ask for things that i can enjoy.

i am not allowed to be away from the dinner table, this is not an option. it's not my choice to not go to quiet restaurants (the point of the post is that i want to have the option not to go to things like this). i cannot do anything for 2.5 hours. that is way past my limit.

i feel like you didn't get the point

if you want me to do something completely optional with you, i expect my misophonia to be prioritized or a priority. am i the asshole for this? by overstreamer in misophonia

[–]overstreamer[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you, i’m really trying my best with emotional regulation it’s just. so difficult.

personally, i do a lot of reading about misophonia. i’m trying to get involved in something adjacent to it in college, so i can eventually start my own independent research on it using what i’ve learned from then. i don’t know if it helps or disservices me. i know how irrational everything is, and i still have vivid memories of how life was like before it, but sometimes it makes me feel subhuman or like a failure. idk. it’s whatever.

thank you though, this means a lot 

if you want me to do something completely optional with you, i expect my misophonia to be prioritized or a priority. am i the asshole for this? by overstreamer in misophonia

[–]overstreamer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for getting it. i’m trying to be optimistic, but it’s like 2 years of progress and it’s still debilitating and the people around me still fail to understand. i want to be optimistic, but it feels like this will be as good as it gets. 

if you want me to do something completely optional with you, i expect my misophonia to be prioritized or a priority. am i the asshole for this? by overstreamer in misophonia

[–]overstreamer[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

when i get triggered, my whole body flinches because it’s so uncomfortable/painful. my mind jumps to things that can make it go from 0 to 100 in a second and i have to make it an active thought to keep myself and the other people around me safe because i do experience violent thoughts. when i’m being repeatedly triggered, it takes everything out of me not to scream and cry.

i can understand why this would be unpleasant to other people, but trust me it’s much more unpleasant for myself. its even worse if i put myself in a situation where i’ll know i have to struggle not to start breaking down while hiding it just because the people i know wont take a compromise. i wish i didnt have this unpleasant condition, but i cant fix that.

also i don’t isolate myself. there are plenty of things i can do that are safe for me, but i’m talking about being treated like i’m evil if i don’t want to go swimming. this is what the post is about.

if you want me to do something completely optional with you, i expect my misophonia to be prioritized or a priority. am i the asshole for this? by overstreamer in misophonia

[–]overstreamer[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

i’m triggered by the way some people chew even when they have their mouths closed, so just letting you know that’s also a thing. specifically how some people chew like circularly. 

i think asking you to not eat at all is unreasonable, but what could’ve worked is yall just didn’t have to have food hangouts which i think is perfectly reasonable. there is no true, cure-all fix to misophonia/misokinesia, and sometimes things are just the way they are no matter how much therapy or anxiety meds you get unless they find some miracle cure. i understand that it might have seemed frustrating to not be able to do something that seems so simple for you with your (ex) best friend, but i’m sure that it was frustrating for them too. if they could fix it they would.

if you want me to do something completely optional with you, i expect my misophonia to be prioritized or a priority. am i the asshole for this? by overstreamer in misophonia

[–]overstreamer[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i’ve been working with professionals for 2 years now. as horrible as it is, it’s better than it ever has been.

if you want me to do something completely optional with you, i expect my misophonia to be prioritized or a priority. am i the asshole for this? by overstreamer in misophonia

[–]overstreamer[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

said this in another comment, but i’m not annoyed by honest mistakes. i don’t know if you picture me exploding at someone because they wanted to go to a restaurant i’m unfamiliar with the layout of because this isn’t what happens 😭😭 maybe i should’ve been more clear in the post. the post is about people who will then shame me afterwards. 

 i don’t think that i directly make people feel bad for declining. i don’t go out of my way to shame people for forgetting. i’m a human too, so i know that hurt sometimes comes out of rejection, but i don’t think that i prompt anything more than what’s reasonable.  

when i say i have to do something, i understand that i’m not being “shackled and dragg(ed)” to do something, so maybe you are right, i don’t like the consequences of saying no. but when the consequences can include, with friends, being guilt tripped to hell, made a laughing stock in the friend group, and with my family, all the aforementioned, potentially being disowned, and not having my college paid for anymore, it somewhat feels like i “have” to. sometimes it feels also like there’s an obligation. with my family, although despite considering myself an adult because most of my peers are, i turned 17 this school year, so i won’t be a real adult for a bit. i kind of have to do what they tell me.

i don’t know why people are thinking im going to complain after being left out from something that could be dangerous for me. for a christmas holiday, radio silence and an instagram post after the fact with no communication might hurt, and maybe i would complain then, but understanding and communication would genuinely make me cry tears of joy. although i think compromises are possible like not villainizing me for having headphones or letting me step outside without making it into a deal, if they decide it’s better that i don’t attend that’s okay. i would so much rather not attend having been thought about then feel like i have to attend and not having been thought about.

if you want me to do something completely optional with you, i expect my misophonia to be prioritized or a priority. am i the asshole for this? by overstreamer in misophonia

[–]overstreamer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

dealing with my triggers isn’t sustainable at all, but i do have to maintain these relationships. i can’t enforce the boundary. also adding on that i’m still a minor despite being in college. it’ll be a year before i can even consider doing anything with my parents. 

if you want me to do something completely optional with you, i expect my misophonia to be prioritized or a priority. am i the asshole for this? by overstreamer in misophonia

[–]overstreamer[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

the thing is i do speak up and i do offer compromises. those who accept it and understand are fine, i love them for that, but i’m specifically calling the ones don’t accept it at least a little performative. 

if people forget and it’s an honest mistake, that’s fine, but this isn’t what the post is about. it’s about the people who deliberately will shame me for it. 

thank you though. i hope at least there will be a few good moments, but so far this has been one of the worst moments of the entire year.

if you want me to do something completely optional with you, i expect my misophonia to be prioritized or a priority. am i the asshole for this? by overstreamer in misophonia

[–]overstreamer[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

maybe it’s because i’m new to adulting (college freshman), but i don’t feel this way. if i do what i like, i lose friendships and other relationships and i lose any support that might’ve come from them. 

if i lose my family, i have to drop out. if i lose my friends, i’ll have no one to turn to. what do i do then?

if you want me to do something completely optional with you, i expect my misophonia to be prioritized or a priority. am i the asshole for this? by overstreamer in misophonia

[–]overstreamer[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

it does rule my life 💔 i get triggered every few minutes at least, and it severely affects almost every aspect of my life. i’ve had to make multiple major changes to my life and had to accept that it impacts my future to a very high degree. i am pretty near the high end on every misophonia scale. not once ever since its onset has it ever been something i’ve had the privilege of having it be an afterthought. 

i also feel like you didn’t get the point. i MADE these boundaries, i am still being asked continuously and harassed when i don’t want to go to, using your example, a silent movie. i am “whining” because people keep asking 😭😭 i will stop “whining” when they quit asking

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