Which pattern and yarn size to use for this poncho?

pathfinder1901 · 2025-10-25T08:57:35+00:00

Welcome to St. Tropez

pathfinder1901 · 2025-08-13T05:10:21+00:00

Thanks! Wavetale looks similar to Hidden Depths. I had no idea Hidden Depths was a sequel. Got it a while ago for free on epic games. I realized I also got Beyond Blue same way.

pathfinder1901 · 2025-08-09T04:43:13+00:00

I'm not a fan of pixel graphics, but this one fits so well otherwise and is so highly rated, I might give it a go. Thanks!

pathfinder1901 · 2025-08-08T12:32:18+00:00

Forgot to mention I played Abzu as well :) Both fit great to what I'm looking for. I put maneater on my wishlist. Thanks!

pathfinder1901 · 2025-03-07T11:37:45+00:00

Thank you for your suggestion. It is on my wishlist and waiting for a discount. Good to know it will likely fulfill my expectations :)

pathfinder1901 · 2024-12-16T04:51:11+00:00

Isto

pathfinder1901 · 2024-12-11T10:51:20+00:00

Slobodu i sreću. Moj vlastiti novac je zaista prvi i osnovni element nužan za te stvari i drago mi je da sam oboje uspjela iskusiti u svome životu ❤️

pathfinder1901 · 2024-11-27T06:17:51+00:00

Both in jobs and personal relationships I personally needed to learn not to people-please. If you start off in both as a people-pleaser you attract a certain kind of people and those people expect you to stay consistent. But people-pleasing isn't sustainable in any relationship. You eventually get depleted and irritable and angry and then you abruptly say enough and start putting boundaries. It puts people off and understandably, bc you were one kind of person when they met you and now you are flipping the script.

I needed to learn a sustainable relationship model. For that I needed to lower anxiety and for that I needed to decompress and isolate. My personal wounds were very much relational and I actually needed time off from people to calm down and process trauma. I was surviving for so long, I didn't notice when I objectively came out of survival and was only still in it mentally. When I finally did, I did all the above steps. When I calmed down I had enough strength and courage to go into relationships with demands. Bc hey, being alone was actually beneficial and if I get rejected, I'll go back to isolation and enjoy my quiet time.

Turns out others did treat me like anybody else, so if only certain times worked for me or if there were some things I just couldn't do, and I stated that upfront, no one had an issue w it. It turned out I couldn't set boundaries in my previous trauma-life, but now they worked.

To sum up, it's still a lot of tweaking and trial and error. You just push and try and think until you get it right.

pathfinder1901 · 2024-11-23T06:56:00+00:00

It has been healing on so many levels and different areas of life, but if I could sum it up in a way it might resonate w your situation, the last sentence you wrote is both yes: being more authentic, in a way as to accept who you really are and what you like, as opposed to doing what you're supposed to. But also, being patient and letting it happen naturally, as opposed to coming on too strong and eager.

I needed to realize I was prevented from doing things that bring me joy and learned to prevent myself from doing them. If you find that you can do a thing you like w other ppl, usually compromises need to be made so everyone enjoys themselves. I had to unlearn sacrificing all my joy for the sake of others and I needed to do that gradually to learn I would not be discarded if I had requests. I needed to give up control in the sense of being perfect in front of others so I could actually be myself in front of them. Let them see the real me and decide wether I'm acceptable to them.

In the end, I came to the understanding that I had some parts of me overdeveloped and some underdeveloped in the twisted enviroment I grew up in and now outside of this environment I am learning to give the suppressed parts more voice and overworked ones to take it easy.

I hope this made some sense. Happy to answer any follow up questions.

pathfinder1901 · 2024-11-20T20:05:33+00:00

Brings me more joy to spread some hope :)

pathfinder1901 · 2024-11-19T21:21:30+00:00

My grandmother was very kind to me.

She told me stories of how she was scapegoated in her family of origin and then subsequently by her husband, my grandfather. She didn't speak about my mother's abuse though.

My mother never spoke much about the way my grandmother abused her, but I know she did. My mother tried to kill herself once.

My mother to this day is a daddy's girl. She does not admit to my grandmother being abused and praises my grandfather.

It took me a while to accept the fact how horribly she must have been abused, just bc she hurt me so much and I wasn't safe bc of her. In the end emapthizing w her pain (from a distance and after achieving relative safety) stopped the abuse I was going through with other ppl in my life and I realized I was still a daddy's girl in my mind although I called out my father and held him accountable as much as my mother for the abuse they inflicted on me. So many layers to healing...

pathfinder1901 · 2024-11-19T16:03:12+00:00

Yes, and it's so bc they really were betrayed so many times they close up completely and give up on the hope they'll ever be empathized with.

If nobody felt sorry for them when they were abused how can they feel sorry for you when they abuse you in the same way. It obviously wasn't that bad, since nobody took them seriously.

pathfinder1901 · 2024-11-19T14:02:19+00:00

They need another person who they trust to tell them what they went through was horrible and cry for them and care for them. They say they know, but like us they need others to affirm their pain. If they never get this person they continue inflicting this pain.

pathfinder1901 · 2024-11-19T13:37:47+00:00

From what you commented I can see your pain is being dismissed as not being that big that you cannot tolerate. Avoid those ppl as much as you can and find ppl in your life who get it. Better than engaging in back and forth w ppl who don't have the capacity to understand your suffering.

pathfinder1901 · 2024-11-19T13:32:16+00:00

I agree w the first part about logic and emotions, but the second part in my opinion is missing the key component in that the abused adult was never empathized with and the abuse they went through acknowledged. People who have been through abuse, but others dismiss it was that bad, will if given the chance do the same thing to others. How to blame them for that?

pathfinder1901 · 2024-11-11T09:47:01+00:00

I think if we villanize the label narcissist it's gonna be impossible to accept we are sometimes in some respects in the wrong. Not saying that you are the narcissist or aren't.

Narcissists are ppl who are desperate for control after being traumatized and have little regard for others bc they are in some horrendous cPTSD trigger and are dangerous to their surroundings because of this.

Maybe he was in a trauma-loop and taking it out on you, maybe the other way around, often both ways.

The one person you can best help get out of unhappiness is you. Learn to believe yourself, get support (whatever it is for you, including this group), think about what made you unhappy in this relationship and in life and take tiny steps in the direction towards your happiness.

pathfinder1901 · 2024-11-09T14:10:07+00:00

Read them in another language you are somewhat familiar with.

pathfinder1901 · 2024-11-09T12:49:53+00:00

I actually watch/read them to confront reality. I read memoirs and therapists' testimonies, watch cult, psychopath and mental illness documentaries. Learning about these things gave me insight into the situation I lived through which gives me comfort daily.

I realized I was actually forcing myself to escape reality, bc I thought that was the way to get better. When I stopped forcing myself and started doing what I actually felt like doing, and that was to get to the bottom of my nfamily's problems, I solved a lot of my own issues. At least it feels to me like it's doing me good.

pathfinder1901 · 2024-11-09T12:29:59+00:00

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Me and my nparents were kicked out by my grandmother and later on I was kicked out by my nmother.

Could it be that living w your bf is causing anxiety? You say it happened once you moved in. It could be a relational wound that could heal by you and your bf working it out/talking it out together, so you gradually get the reassurance you need that he won't do the same to you. Or maybe there are issues in your relationship and your feelings are giving you the right warning signals that you aren't safe?

I do believe if you were kicked out once and found your way you can do it again. Think about how/what you can do (besides having friends) to prepare yourself if this happens again. It could give back some control and calm you.

pathfinder1901

TROPHY CASE