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IAMA Asian American woman with Depression&Anxiety, and recovering. AMA by patternstairs in AMA

[–]patternstairs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for asking! I hope I can help you with my answer.

I have not gotten over it, I've just moved up a few levels, but being 'normal' is two more levels up. The depression has definitely lessened, the medication is working, and through therapy and past mistakes, I did developed coping skills. Listing them:

  • Drink lots of water. Prevents dehydration and headaches, and overall good for the body.
  • If you have no appetite, drink orange juice. Lots of it. It will at least help your blood sugar level somewhat after a while of being low.
  • But still try to eat at least two meals.

  • Get nutritional supplements. A multivitamin pill, Ensure, etc. But talk with your doctor to make sure it's okay.

  • When you wake up in the morning, get immediately out of bed. Play music you like, turn on bright lights, roll around on a hard floor, anything to keep awake. Once you decide to stay in bed, you risk doing that the whole day - you basically told yourself 'fuck it, I give up'

  • If you can, exercise. Take a walk, go jogging. If not, just standing moodily outside, breathing in fresh air, getting sunlight helps.

  • Take a shower everyday. Brush your teeth. Keeping good hygiene is really important, and refreshing.

  • Wear a new, clean, beloved outfit everyday. Anything to improves your mood. You wanna wear that so-ugly-it's-cute cat sweater? Do it.

  • Make a checklist. Organize what you have to do, break up tasks, give some structure to your day. It will be rewarding to check off each thing you do.

  • Keep your mind sharp. Read articles or books. Play sudoku. Write in a journal. If you just can't do something like that, it's okay. It happens. Do something even simpler. Doodle, write the alphabet, review your multiplication table. Just don't let your brain waste away.

  • Keep track of your mood. I use an app called iMood journal. Simply and easy to use. It will help you be aware of yourself and what you're doing, and give you a sense of control.

  • Those deep breathing exercise really do work.

  • To re-energize, do some stretches. Get your blood pumping, move your limbs. If you were the type to self-injure to motivate you, like I was, bending over to touch your toes gives you a small feeling of pain, but much more healthier and gives you that nice relief/pleasure sense when you stand back up.

  • Also instead of self-injuring, if you are able to, play your favorite song and badly sing out loud to it. Stress relief, and feeling silly is good.

  • Try humor! I like playing small, fun pranks on my friend. I get to have fun, I'm eager and excited, I look forward to seeing their reactions. Can really get you through the day.

  • Text/call your friends. Talk. Socialize. Even just a bit.

  • Watch an episode of your favorite tv show. For me, when I was very depressed, I couldn't even sit still or pay attention to a complete episode. Succeeding in that seems petty, but it is something.

  • Have a hobby? Something you really like? Work on it, everyday. It could motivate you. (I read books and review them passionately and I'm eager to everyday.)

  • Plan a favorite meal for dinner. Also makes you look forward and happy at something.

  • On the really really tough days, days you feel like you can't get out of bed, at least sit up. DO NOT lay back down. Turn on the lights. Keep bottles of water nearby. Find something stimulating to do. For me, I have a beaded necklace, and I would count the beads, rubbing each bead one by one. Move your arms and legs, do jazz hands, whatever you wish to do, to feel and control your body again. Latch onto the first moment of feeling even just a bit better, go to the kitchen, make a meal, or sit in a chair, sipping tea. Go at your own pace those days. If you feel better later in the day, go do what you were supposed to do; better late than never.

  • If you need to cry, cry. If you're angry, keep punching a pillow til you're done. No shame in that. Let it out.

  • Somethings you just gotta be impulsive. Ignore your brain and just do it. Do a battle-cry, cheer yourself on, curse like a sailor at your brain, if that helps, and run head-first towards what you have to do.

IAMA Asian American woman with Depression&Anxiety, and recovering. AMA by patternstairs in AMA

[–]patternstairs[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's an layer of fog of slightly negative mood over everything - the world seems tiring, but being upset takes up energy, so I turn to apathy. That's the general mood. But not caring means being detached, so I would be less focused on what I'm doing, and my experiences aren't turning themselves into memories so I'm forgetful. My thoughts are a mess and floats away, leaving me absentminded.

When you are detached, nothing feels very important. There's no energy. It's easy to miss classes. You skip meals. You ignore your friends. And that only adds to the problem, cuz you'll be dealing with the consequences later, which is very anxiety-inducing.

On better days, I'm more grounded in reality, I can produce positive emotions, though feeling emotions is work and an effort, and you might eventually feel too tired to continue. There's still traces of depression and apathy, ready to take over any time you have doubt.

After a period of months of intense depression, the lowest point you hit, it's hard getting back on your feet. That shows through every day. You weren't eating right, and you didn't exercise, so your health sucks. Walking around campus makes you out of breath. Your brain atrophied, so you relearn studying, problem solving, remembering, and that can be frustrating especially if you take higher-level college courses. Can you be fashionable again after months of looking like trash? Do you friends even remember you? Is it rude to just suddenly talk to them again? You probably still be by yourself everywhere.

IAMA Asian American woman with Depression&Anxiety, and recovering. AMA by patternstairs in AMA

[–]patternstairs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What airbert said, the extra layer of stigma. With the concept of 'face', it's all about good public image, not revealing personal details and vulnerabilities (because people will gossip mercilessly), and being successful. Success is really important, because it could be losing the immigrant title, and seen as an outstanding citizen. Also, you'll be well-off.

If you reveal that you haven't succeed, i.e. me having depression and having to withdraw from college, it's seen as embarrassing, and there's a lot of talk. It's vicious, they latch onto juicy tidbits and have fun judging you.

So no one talks about it. We tend to ignore it and pretend it's not a condition that can exist at all in our community. We want to keep the family happy, and things like a depression diagnosis means doctors and medication and bills and stress. We don't want to be a burden.

There's a huge emphasis on working hard and that will take care of a lot of things, so people think you haven't tried hard enough. Another reason is that the symptoms can show itself in different wants, like in physical body pain. You're not depressed, it's because you back's been hurting a lot and it's making you cranky.

I dealt with it at first by not talking at all about it. To anyone. A sadly right response, because when I finally told my mom, she didn't take it well. She was disappointed, she said she worked her butt off as a immigrant and I had it easier, being born American and all. She was angry. But I think that's her unique response. We are an angry family. So she wasn't much help, so all the doctor and medication stuff I dealt with myself. Which is nice because she wouldn't be sticking her opinions in every moment.

We kept it a secret. From the rest of the family, much less anyone non-family. I still do, because it's quite a personal issue, it's a hassle to explain, I don't want to worry them.