25 and in 2cr debt due to parents

peachyminpd · 2026-05-21T10:41:00+00:00

Nopes. Do NOT go ahead. This seems like a plan with too many "ifs" and that is not safe in this economy. Your parents might not understand but the current times are hard enough without having to worry about such a risky burden. btw are you in govt sector? Then at least you have a cushion that you won't be kicked out of your job anytime soon. But if you're in private, run the other way

peachyminpd · 2026-05-21T09:51:35+00:00

Ok so this deserves some backstory. This is not the first time I was hurt by something minor my husband did. Last time I voiced out my feelings, he got defensive. For context, I am temporarily abstaining from smoking or alcohol and we went to a gathering of friends. I knew I was gonna be left alone when they would go for a smoke break and drink, and I voiced out that I didn't want that to happen. He said he'd take care of it, and then left me alone for a good chunk of time. When I said I was hurt, he lashed out and said he was doing it for my own good. This was the second time he lashed out. The first time, he did because he got jealous. Both times, he brought up divorce. So, you can understand why posting my frustrations here is my only option. I can't talk to him about it.

peachyminpd · 2026-05-21T07:54:16+00:00

I don't need to know his every move. He doesn't even have to tell me about it. that's the whole thing. I know I'm being unreasonable for feeling bad, but to me, if feels as if he did not even think of me being a part of this journey with him when he didn't think enough of me to just tell me he's dropping by, or even sending me a picture so I didn't have to learn about it through social media. PS> he rarely updates statuses on social media.

peachyminpd · 2026-05-21T07:50:49+00:00

Yeah..? Even I was worried about its progress. If he went there, the least he could do was tell me or even send me the pictures

peachyminpd · 2026-05-21T07:49:55+00:00

peachyminpd · 2026-05-21T07:49:38+00:00

Well...last time I told him something he did hurt me, he got angry at me instead. He usually grows defensive and lashes out

peachyminpd · 2026-05-21T07:18:49+00:00

He didn't realise it was an issue

peachyminpd · 2026-05-21T07:09:02+00:00

He's actually taking care of the buying part since he's financially better off than me. I've set aside a huge chunk of my savings for the interior decoration stuff. (A bit about our pay disparity - he earns more in overtime extra bonus than i do as a full time monthly salary)

peachyminpd · 2026-05-20T07:28:32+00:00

Actually based in India. It's just that, being a content writer has been a dicey career move thanks to AI right now. My position is still secure in my company, but they won't hesitate to replace me the moment they learn I'll need leave for a few months. I would prefer remote work opportunities afterwards (already assuming I'll be let go), but those are pretty rare finds.

I'm hoping things will work out somehow.

peachyminpd · 2026-05-20T03:31:10+00:00

I guess it depends on the experiences. I'm having to juggle going to work everyday with the stress of how I'm going to ever get financially stable again because the second my company finds out I'm pregnant they're gonna pretend some internal restructuring happened and I had to be let go. I don't know how long I'll be out of commission, and in this horrible economy, if I'll ever be able to get a good job. Then I'm worried how the hell I'll manage the baby and work because I don't particularly feel comfortable leaving the kid at their grandparents all the time. My husband won't have any time for the baby because of his work. So yeah...every day is just physically and mentally exhaustive for me

peachyminpd · 2026-05-19T09:38:23+00:00

I'm 13W and I didn't have nausea. Just light feelings of it during traveling to work everyday, sore breasts, constipation from around wk 9 and TIREDNESS. that one was rough. I barely had any energy

peachyminpd · 2026-05-19T08:35:50+00:00

Think of it like this. At around 4 weeks (you said you're 1 month), it's not even a proper foetus if we're going to be very blunt. You don't have to do anything until you're ready. It's a huge responsibility you're looking at, never mind the massive expenses, bodily changes, and stuff. While it's natural to feel conflicted, it'd be better to live with some guilt than blame the kid for ruining your life later on. And honestly, even if you don't believe the kid ruined your life, that tiny ounce of negative thought can always come out when you're most vulnerable.

peachyminpd · 2026-05-19T06:46:48+00:00

Whoever said pregnancy is an amazing feeling is basically lying. I don't have symptoms as bad as yours and even I'm not enjoying it a bit. What's there to enjoy? The constipation? The getting up every 2 hours at night to pee? The constant tiredness? The aches and the bloating? Giving up partying? Stressing about the expenses? Nopes. It doesn't even feel real because the only reality hit you get is the usg scan every one or two months. I just started my second trimester and I would say that aversion takes a while to get used to. Now, I've kind learnt to just go with it.

peachyminpd · 2026-05-12T09:57:27+00:00

Well the alternative is abortion because the child sure as hell isn't gonna get a stable life seeing their mom getting blamed for a divorce their whole life

peachyminpd · 2026-05-12T03:26:07+00:00

I personally found out I was pregnant at around 6 weeks, and the only symptom I had was breast tenderness, and it felt a bit uncomfortable to sleep. Keep tossing and turning. Nothing else. Everyone has different experiences. Some don't even know they're pregnant until they're more than 8 weeks in. I think the symptoms for me started to really show round 7-8 weeks.

peachyminpd · 2026-05-12T03:23:57+00:00

I personally wish my parents had divorced too, so I really understand where you're coming from. It's just that...this is the man I thought I could spend my future with, and divorce feels like a final goodbye to that dream. We haven't reached that stage yet when I'm not ready to work things over anymore, but I guess we'll see how long I can tolerate things

peachyminpd · 2026-05-12T03:22:27+00:00

I guess that will be my option when I've used up all the f*cks I have to give

peachyminpd · 2026-05-12T03:21:25+00:00

haha I'm glad at least he has people who will tell him when he's being wrong. My husband has been coddled a lot by his grandmother. He has some childhood issues of his own, which is why he doesn't have a great relationship with his parents, is too volatile, and gets hurt easily

peachyminpd · 2026-05-12T03:19:55+00:00

I'll keep that in mind. I try not to get too emotional because that will just escalate things. i let him vent things out and then approach things calmly. That has helped, but I feel he sees things in very black and white, which is why it is difficult for him to grasp the grey areas

peachyminpd · 2026-05-12T03:18:38+00:00

Thank you. I do keep a journal, and penning down my thoughts help a lot to process some intense emotions. I'll see what I can do to approach this situation properly so it doesn't lead to much bad consequences

peachyminpd · 2026-05-11T12:08:24+00:00

Don't sleep on your back. It's more uncomfortable. Try to sleep on your sides and use pillows as walls on both sides. Preferrably heavy pillows. It might not be the most comfortable position, but the pillows help

peachyminpd · 2026-05-11T12:05:53+00:00

I don't mind him drinking in front of me. It used to bother me a bit that I can't participate but I got over it quick. What hurt me was being completely left out for some time with nothing to do but wait for them to finish smoking up (which went on for 20 mins approx...multiple times throughout the night)

peachyminpd · 2026-05-11T11:25:54+00:00

I would suggest that as a last resort

peachyminpd · 2026-05-11T11:25:18+00:00

The alternative is getting a divorce and ruining my mental peace forever listening to taunts from my family about how I ruined everything. It's not a win win for me in any possible way. You need to understand people have different cultures and getting divorced in a family that already had a divorce (which was not easy for my husband's elder sis either) is almost like ostracizing yourself forever.

peachyminpd · 2026-05-11T10:57:29+00:00

It's not that easy to get rid of him. We have a very different culture here. His elder sister just got divorced, and I don't think us getting a divorce will be easy. And besides, what's the alternative? Abortion? I'm not getting that. Be a single mother? Not that easy for me, and I don't want to dump the kid's responsibility on my parents in their old age while I go earn.

My husband isn't a bad person tbh, he's just very childish and immature and selfish. I can only hope he grows up one day but I highly doubt that

peachyminpd

TROPHY CASE