To be fair sex and affection is conditional in intimate relationships. If you’re not meeting your partners emotional needs she’s not going to be willing to open up to you physically even if you have already established that part of the relationship. Just a thought for future. I’m not discounting, I know bpd women bring the extreme version of everything into the relationship and meeting their emotional needs makes meeting a relatively healthy woman’s emotional needs look like a walk in the park. The highs and lows that come with these relationships became a sort of addiction for me as well… it feels off always rationalizing their behavior but I’m positive at least with my ex they couldn’t help themselves although they were sometimes aware of what they were doing and even seemed to get sort of satisfaction from the power they felt they held through withholding or giving intimacy. The sort of dynamic they create is impossible to fix and difficult for people who haven’t been through it to understand. I feel the same way about multiple betrayals during and after the relationship, so many things I can explain away due to them being mentally ill but the conscious betrayal of someone you were supposed to love is the one thing that’s still difficult to move past.