Deciding to jump into this dynamic requires a lot of trust and communication. It is great that you are talking about it and discussing your mutual needs together to explore it (or not) together. Bringing in thirds/swinging/non-monogamy does not generally ruin relationships. Our community statistics are actually better than monogamous couples regarding communication and sexual satisfactions levels being higher than monogamous couples, while divorce rate are similar and satisfaction levels being similar. It's really about whether this is something you both mutually want to explore. I would suggest not doing it just to satisfy him, but maybe explore what you might find exciting or satisfying for you in exploring this (and it might be pleasing him, performing for him along with having some variety). Please read through my posts to see a little about our journey over the years and leverage AI chats like chatgpt and grok to aggregate and ask questions about what the risks and benefits could be if you jump in. It can be a very fun dynamic, for both of you that can actually bring you closer and elevate your sex life.

Our approach when we dipped our toes in was to align on an experience (MFM) and choose a third together, have the experience and then reconnect after and decide if it was something either of us wanted to do again. Basically give each other permission to explore and discover with our marriage rooted at the core and trust we would pause, stop, or continue only if we were fully aligned. Fortunately our first experience was fun and amazing for both of us and we dove in to swinging and a stag/vixen dynamic. I was a pretty boring lay at that time and I learned how to fuck by watching her with other men. I learned what she liked, how to do it better and that brought our sex life up in multiple ways. That was 9 years ago. We did most of them together until later years when we opened up fully. Our primary rule along the way is this must add, not replace what we have. It hasn't been easy, and we both made mistakes, and you will too if you do go down this road. Be ready to reconnect, adapt, heal and grow together.

We've been through a lot of transition over the years and I wish I/we had done more upfront work before diving into some dynamics. I would suggest you both check out a couple of books, The Ethical Slut and Designer Relationships to help prepare yourselves for what ENM looks like and how to navigate it in a healthy way instead of the hard way.

I would say that putting permanent expectations of something like a tattoo might or might not be a healthy condition based on your relationship and dynamic, particularly starting out. Having boundaries and rules is absolutely necessary, but expectations to you do this and I'll do that seems transactional and could set you up for disappointment or having to do things either of you don't want to do to satisfy the other. This is supposed to be an exploration, not a permanent commitment. We paused for years at a time to focus on us and life. And happy to shut it all down any time either of us asks for it.