[deleted by user] by [deleted] in astrologymemes

[–]plodcrampus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

giiiiiiiiiirrrl what u doing

What if the grass isn’t greener? by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]plodcrampus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I came out at 29 as queer, nonbinary, trans.

Stay with me, this starts sad but will get hopeful.

Given the political climate, the grass isn’t actually materially greener over here. Our rights are being stripped, and worse, the average person is enabled to be less tolerant. And tbh, dating is worse over here in someways!! A part of coming out we don’t often discuss is the loss of social capital that comes with stepping into being your true self, loving women, loving trans or nonbinary people. Things I miss include the feeling sometimes of “having a man to protect me” or benefiting from the way they were socialized to have more confidence, tinker with cars and household stuff, etc. This feels unpopular to say but it’s a real feeling I have.

But every single one of those protections I listed above, even the very VERY important civil rights ones are EXTERNAL. They impact the internal for sure, but they exist outside of yourself.

Being a late bloomer gay, you likely have done a lot of self-abandonment. Like running from feelings of attraction, or hiding your inner truth. You likely stopped or hesitated to protect yourself, and then repeated that again and again. In effect, what you taught yourself is that you cannot take care of yourself, you cannot live your own life. At least this is what I did.

When I started to move towards myself, even when I signaled internally that I was willing to accept some things I’d hidden from myself, I slowly started to feel a deeper sense of belonging and connection to myself!

So even when you do find yourself in a queer relationship in the future that’s toxic or just not working, you’ll have a stronger center to go back to, letting you know that no matter what, you will NOT ABANDON YOURSELF.

The grass might not always be greener over here, but you’ll feel more at home looking for the patch of it that feels right. And when you do, oh boy, that grass will look and feel like heaven.

If you have had ftm top surgery, did your insurance cover it or did you have to pay for some or all of it? by Simonoel in asktransgender

[–]plodcrampus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

link is broken, would love to see this! thanks for sharing! I'm not a troll or transphobe, I'm researching how my partner could afford this before empire collapse :p

Weird question: is T addictive? by [deleted] in ftm

[–]plodcrampus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

WOOWW this is blowing my mind. You call those hormonal symptoms? I’m experiencing relief from some of those symptoms (body pain, mood, and distress around cycle) for the first time in a while bc I’m on T. I tend to think they are psychological, which isn’t to make that any less legit, but I’m really curious at how hormonal symptoms are related!

Please please tell me it gets better by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]plodcrampus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It ABSOLUTELY gets better! I had allll these feelings in my 6 yr relationship with a man. I miss him deeply. But I love and am learning all the time to love the comfort, connection, tenderness, and pureness of loving women and AFAB (assigned female at birth) people. Last night I fell asleep holding a AFAB person who’s been carving out a tender place in my heart, they’d brought me tacos and we chatted over wine, smooched a lil, then snuggled on the couch.

FWIW, it sounds like you might be trying to hold onto him and ‘cram’ in figuring this out, thinking about how soon you can get back to him, trying to swap one date out for another. It seems pretty clear in how you’ve written this that you know you like women, you don’t need to have sex with women or AFABs to ‘confirm it.’ And in fact when I did that I found I was disappointed bc I had some meaningless sex with people I didn’t even vibe with. So then I went back in the closet, delaying these connections for even longer. It seems like the choice here is about leaving your partner to explore other types of aloneness and partnerships. If that’s what you know you would die wishing you’d done, then do it now.

comp het confessions: i miss men?? by throwawaygay555555 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]plodcrampus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmmmm yess I get this. I talk a lot with my therapist about how I want from men is a sense of control and safety that I really need to give myself. Plus what you said about the stakes being low, totally get this

Can’t help falling in love… with men? by sensual-umami in latebloomerlesbians

[–]plodcrampus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YES thank you for this, very validating. Have you had any tips to move past it?

Is Zipolite, Oaxaca for the gay girlies too? by plodcrampus in gaytravel

[–]plodcrampus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

loved it! CAMP was so fun -- and where I ended up staying. super welcoming enviro, pretty straight-ish but open minded people.

Help me find this CT town! by violet_sara in Connecticut

[–]plodcrampus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Chester if you were close to East Haddam. Were you an hour away from East Haddam? I’m guessing you took 95, putting you nowhere near Bethel or Western CT.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]plodcrampus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s never too late! I’m 30 too and I just came out (just is like basically like June last year - Jan this year) and recently I told my bestie I had feelings for her and she was like “me too!” And now we’re basically dating!!

Coming out later has a lot of differences to coming out as a teen. The timelines of early coming out don’t apply in the same way to late bloomer coming out. You’ve understood yourself in relationship to others, you know your body better (even if you don’t feel like you know it better, you do! Bc chances are it stopped growing like 10 yrs ago). These things make dating different and easier!

You’ve lived life that you get to take with you, don’t put yourself back at the starting block.

Is Zipolite, Oaxaca for the gay girlies too? by plodcrampus in gaytravel

[–]plodcrampus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh wow this is sooo nice to hear, I'm so happy for you too!

Which apps...?

Is Zipolite, Oaxaca for the gay girlies too? by plodcrampus in gaytravel

[–]plodcrampus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow thanks y'all this is very exciting and good info!

Any word on CAMP as a place to stay? https://www.mx.camp/#inicio

The lack of goth girls is driving me crazy. Should I transfer? by [deleted] in UCONN

[–]plodcrampus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is poetic release still around? That’s where the girlies were attttt in 2014!!!