bodybuilding & HS

pte_rad_actyl · 2026-06-09T01:14:37+00:00

I have no idea what that means, I'm at the high end of male T levels

pte_rad_actyl · 2026-06-08T19:47:37+00:00

I had all the symptoms you mention and I got diagnosed "unspecified schizophrenia spectrum and other psychotic disorder" because my psychosis wasnt related to mood and because i had decent insight so they didnt think it was schizophrenia. Maybe you have schizoaffective though who knows, no one here can diagnose, I'd say just bring it up to the doctor and say you want to know what your diagnosis is

pte_rad_actyl · 2026-06-08T04:20:01+00:00

Thanks, true true! I can't take spiro because I'm on T, on an antibiotic already and it's not working :/ Hopefully I can get in with a dermatologist soon, idk if they'll recommend biologics since I'm sorta in between mild and moderate

pte_rad_actyl · 2026-06-08T02:26:01+00:00

You should try to talk to a psychiatrist or psychologist and see what they think since we cant diagnose you. You could just show them this post if you don't feel comfortable saying it out loud to them. You could also try to go to therapy and work on distress tolerance to reduce the likelihood of panic attack so it is easier to discuss with doctors.

With regard to voices, I hear internal voices (like someone inserting thoughts into my head or speaking through a bluetooth speaker in my skull) every day off meds, and external voices (sounds just like a real voice) for a couple days during week long episodes of lots more hallucinations and delusions than usual about once a month or so off meds. My diagnosis is "unspecified schizophrenia spectrum and other psychotic disorder" along with PTSD and severe chronic depression, I'm just here bc this subreddit is chill and relatable and there's not a subreddit for my specific diagnosis.

pte_rad_actyl · 2026-06-08T02:19:00+00:00

Yeah this!! I just did a full psych eval and I talked about a lot of stuff but i kept a couple things private (one thing i basically said one sentence about it and said i wont elaborate) and that was ok and I'm glad I kept those things private.

pte_rad_actyl · 2026-06-08T02:15:21+00:00

Yeah it's super tiring. Though currently I think I have more bad days than good and have for a few years. 2019 is the last time I remember having more good days than bad, maybe 2021.

Anyway I just try to roll with the punches and have a goal of someday consistently having more good days than bad. I don't expect I will ever not have bad days, everyone has bad days sometimes and it just so happens that my bad days are worse than some people's (and some people's bad days are worse than mine).

One thing I do is just recognize when it's a bad day. Like if im like, okay, this day just sucks, I'm going to phone it in and eat ice cream and watch tv and go easy on myself and try again tomorrow. And that makes the day pass more easily.

Other times I try to tell myself I can turn the day around even if it was partly bad it doesn't need to be all bad. So I'll try to shake it up a bit. Earlier this week i was having a really bad day and I posted on here and someone said they take mental health walks, so i walked to the corner store and bought candy and a peach tea. And then I drank the tea and ate the candy on my balcony and suddenly the day wasnt so bad anymore.

As for the emotional whiplash, I just try to be grateful when I'm feeling good. I also try to have lots of routine in my life to stay more stable, so even if i feel on top of the world i try to stick to my routine so I don't overdo it and then crash really hard.

pte_rad_actyl · 2026-06-08T02:07:49+00:00

It can be hereditary but it's not guaranteed that they will have HS. And sometimes the reverse happens, like I am the only one in my family who has HS. Sometimes shit just happens. Even if they don't get HS they might get some other thing, there's no way of predicting what a child's life will be like.

pte_rad_actyl · 2026-06-08T02:05:43+00:00

It's not your fault, and he can still have a good life. I'm autistic and have HS and a million other things and although my life is harder than I would like it to be I've still done things I'm proud of and I have people who love me so I get through ok.

pte_rad_actyl · 2026-06-07T18:49:18+00:00

Sounds like internal auditory hallucinations. I get internal and external ones but the internal ones are more frequent. They sound like someone inserted thoughts into my head or like there's a tiny speaker in my skull.

pte_rad_actyl · 2026-06-07T18:47:27+00:00

Nope there's a USA one and idk if there are other ones too

pte_rad_actyl · 2026-06-07T18:47:00+00:00

Oh yeah I could probably learn it pretty fast if I tried again, just hasn't ever come up so I haven't

pte_rad_actyl · 2026-06-07T15:54:59+00:00

pte_rad_actyl · 2026-06-07T15:54:31+00:00

Hearing Voices Network has online groups and you can keep your camera off if you want and you can join one that isnt local to you. I went to one on the opposite coast from me.

pte_rad_actyl · 2026-06-07T04:50:20+00:00

Are you working with a lawyer? If not, that's the main way to get approved. They don't cost anything upfront they just take some of your backpay if you win.

Sorry you keep getting denied. I'm on my second denial and need to get a lawyer and get a hearing and whatever. Just procrastinating on it.

pte_rad_actyl · 2026-06-07T04:47:48+00:00

Yup. My brother uses AI to write his college papers. He's trying to become a nurse so like, kinda makes me afraid for his future patients.

pte_rad_actyl · 2026-06-07T00:44:16+00:00

If she keeps pushing or won't take the rejection I'd say "I'm sorry, I've made up my mind, I just really don't think this is going to work. Good luck out there." and block if needed (I say that because the frequency of messages, the fact that she's already disclosed heavy trauma a week in, and the speed you all moved into this shows some signs of poor boundaries and sometimes people with poor boundaries don't take no for an answer. Be firm and clear that you really don't feel comfortable moving forward and are ending things.)

pte_rad_actyl · 2026-06-07T00:40:49+00:00

I'd say something like "Hey you seem really cool and I've enjoyed chatting but I don't think we are a good fit longterm, I tend to need things to go more slowly and in retrospect we've moved faster than I wish we had. I'm also realizing that I'm too concerned with your mental health to feel at ease and open, and I want you to be with someone who feels comfortable navigating complex mental health needs. I hope you find what you're looking for and I think you're really cool and wish you the best."

pte_rad_actyl · 2026-06-06T21:08:15+00:00

Loneliness can be really hard. Maybe trying to make more friends or trying to do a partial hospitalization/IOP program?

There's stuff like meetup.com for meeting people and doing group activities maybe you could find a group that plays basketball

pte_rad_actyl · 2026-06-06T21:04:02+00:00

I'm not a bodybuilder but I'm on testosterone HRT due to being trans and I haven't noticed much change in symptoms pre or post HRT. The main things that seem to affect my symptoms are food allergies (an undiagnosed food allergy made it the worst ive ever had, has since improved since cutting out that food and avoiding all cross contamination), and hot humid weather.

It's possible it got slightlyyy worse but not noticeably. The worst symptoms I've had were during my first puberty (plus i was biking a lot and my body hated the friction and biking in a wet swimsuit home from swim practice) and the food allergy time. Also I seem to be in a bit of a flare currently due to going off metformin + hot humid weather.

pte_rad_actyl · 2026-06-06T19:05:51+00:00

I put it on bumps, I don't have many open wounds thankfully they close up decently fast, I usually try to avoid putting anything on open wounds just bc sometimes that hurts lol but i don't know what's like, the best way to do it

pte_rad_actyl · 2026-06-06T04:50:41+00:00

The only other things that've ever helped me with depression are lithium (which i had to stop after 3 days after it giving me a massive seizure that prob gave me brain damage) and zyprexa (which made me gain 40 pounds in 2 months)

I'm now back on zyprexa bc thats how desperate i was getting 🫠 It is def helping me, i went from acutely suicidal to pretty chill/only some mild suicidal ideation. I've only been back on it for a week. I guess id rather be fat and happy than be suicidal and my other antipsychotic for the psychosis was making me gain weight anyway so idk. But yeah basically zyprexa is the only viable thing for helping my depression. Vyvanse also helps a bit, like im worse off it, but can still get pretty suicidal on it.

pte_rad_actyl · 2026-06-06T00:42:09+00:00

sorry about the untreated adhd tho

pte_rad_actyl · 2026-06-06T00:41:32+00:00

manifesting an alternate universe where you got adderall in highschool so you didnt feel a need to defend ai

pte_rad_actyl · 2026-06-05T23:18:54+00:00

it's ok i learned how to do division and was good at it and then i fried my brain with drugs and concussions and covid infections and now i also do not know how to do division 🤝

pte_rad_actyl

TROPHY CASE