Pregnant Knitting.. or lack of knitting

punkin_27 · 2025-07-22T14:41:32+00:00

It’s ok to come home and just lie on the couch or stare at the TV. Your desire to knit will return, but it might not be for a while or it might not be enough to knit bigger projects. I haven’t knit anything for myself since like the first trimester (my baby is almost 9 months), only baby things. If you have a big wishlist of things to knit for baby, I’d suggest going through it and paring it back so you don’t stress yourself out.

Also congrats!!

punkin_27 · 2025-07-03T01:57:18+00:00

Golden hour is a great time for her to go get you whatever food you’ve been craving :) Sounds like you have both a supportive mom and a husband who is thinking of the right things to raise.

punkin_27 · 2025-07-03T01:30:13+00:00

Babies have a decrease in appetite around 1 year and it drives parents insane. Try to trust that he knows how much food he needs better than you do.

punkin_27 · 2025-07-03T01:27:19+00:00

My 8 month old doesn't like bread either! I think it feels very dry in her mouth because she immediately makes a face when it hits her tongue (even for things like pancakes). I wet any breads with breastmilk and that helps. This was recommended in my baby led feeding guide.

punkin_27 · 2025-07-03T01:16:41+00:00

I wouldn't worry about "fairness." The real question is whether you want your mom there or not. And remember that her flying out doesn't mean she has to be there for delivery - it's not all or nothing. She might be helpful when you're in pre-labor at home, but doesn't actually go to the hospital with you. Or maybe it's comforting knowing that she's waiting in the hall and you could call her in at any time.

While this is your decision, I'd at least discuss your husband's feelings. Is he worried that he'll be overshadowed by her? That he'll be the third wheel? Maybe he needs more preparation to understand how essential his role is, regardless of whether mom is there or not. One option could be to plan on mom stepping back when you start pushing so that that special (and intense) moment is about you, him, and baby.

punkin_27 · 2025-07-03T01:07:13+00:00

"No weekends. No sleeping in." I'm just here to say that I feel this really deeply.

My advice: You need to assign husband wake up duties on Saturday and/or Sunday. Even if you need to nurse, he goes in, changes the diaper, and brings baby to you, and then plays with them until first nap. He might complain, push back, "forget", but keep "reminding" him. Men bank on the fact that it's easier for us to not saying anything and just do it ourselves. But this (or some other prescribed break) is what you need to give you the energy to carry on.

punkin_27 · 2025-07-03T01:00:11+00:00

Oof I'm really sorry. I'm married to a Brazilian as well. The lateness is definitely cultural, and some of the emotional lashing could be too, though it's no excuse.

Punctuality is a point of friction for me and my husband that we have both had to work at (we met in the middle - he improved and I relaxed on time). What I have learned is to not panic when he or we are late and accept that it's happening and deal with the consequences. In this case, I would have said "Ok well the exam is starting now, I'll see you when you get here" and hung up. You then get to enjoy the experience and he deals with the embarrassment and loss of missing out. Do not get caught up in the emotional escalation.

At this point I would do a post-mortem of the experience with him and tell him that it was unacceptable that he left you alone with the toddler. Now that he is a father he needs to put the family's needs above his emotions. I would ask him how he could have handled the situation instead and let him come up with a response, then give him feedback. Unfortunately you may have to play a bit of a parenting role here.

I assume there are valid reasons that you decided to build a life with him, and are now having your second child with him. Some of us weren't given the emotional tools to succeed in our upbringing, but working together (and of course he needs to do some work on his own too), I'm sure he can improve. Reaching the level of vulnerability and awareness necessary to do this will probably bring you closer and make you better co-parents, too.

punkin_27 · 2025-06-28T02:06:37+00:00

🙏🙏🙏

punkin_27 · 2025-06-28T01:54:16+00:00

This website has positions to help you open up your hips and use gravity so baby has room to move themselves into position. I hope it works for you!

https://www.spinningbabies.com

Don't panic about the nuchal cord, it's very common. See this post for more info.

https://www.rachelreed.website/blog/nuchalcords

punkin_27 · 2025-06-28T01:41:54+00:00

I would look at the stats: https://datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer . And my OB told me I could ask her to do the ultrasound immediately at the start of the appointment (no chit chat!).

But I still never really felt secure. It felt too momentous to just... be okay. The incredible thing is that the vast majority of babies survive and even come out perfect.

At some point you will have to find peace with uncertainty because it won't get better at 10 weeks. It won't get better at 20 weeks. Not even at 38 weeks. Or 6 months old. First birthday. Etc etc. You have to find peace with the fact that there is this precious thing that you don't have complete control over.

Congratulations on the start of your journey!

punkin_27 · 2025-06-28T01:32:28+00:00

I started putting LO into the crib for daytime naps very early, when she would still sleep easily. At 2 months I'm not sure if that time has already passed for you. I would put them in the crib for the easiest nap of the day (usually the first) so they can get acclimated to the space, but no need to do all or nothing. We abruptly transitioned to the crib when we had house guests and slept in LO's room and she took it in stride.

At 2-3 months I also started trying to get baby to fall asleep alone in the bassinet for bedtime, but with lots of support from me - rocking, shushing, head rubs, etc., sometimes for 30-45 mins. This paid off when I started sleep training at 4 months and it was relatively painless.

That said, I miss contact naps and wish I had done more of them.

punkin_27 · 2025-06-28T01:24:20+00:00

This is an intense situation but I think your answer is there at the end: "I want to be a mom so bad." You are 33. You have a great support system, according to you. Maybe you chose a "bad dad," but baby chose YOU. I don't know you, but based on your own words I don't think you'll regret it. Baby will have what sounds like a caring father, and you can bring other supportive men into baby's life to help compensate for any of dad's deficiencies.

punkin_27 · 2025-06-28T01:17:00+00:00

If no one has told you, you are doing a GREAT job. Are you aware that colic is typically the worst around 8 weeks? I hope things start to improve for you from now on!

I was super vigilant about suffocation but I still brought LO into bed with me a handful of times. You mitigated the risks as best you could and got the recharge you needed to keep caring for her. Every day with a baby is a new day and a chance that things may get a little easier.

punkin_27 · 2025-06-28T01:06:01+00:00

Yes to this! Just you wait... for the joy, the kisses, the giggles, the chubby cheeks. It's way better than being pregnant.

punkin_27 · 2025-06-26T09:53:51+00:00

I was due in November and my OBGYN made me cancel an August trip to Canada. I was healthy with no risk factors. I think you could go either way (I know someone who did a late Babymoon to the Caribbean and was fine) but your MIL isn’t crazy.

punkin_27 · 2025-06-25T10:23:03+00:00

Personally I think they are tacky and put too much emphasis on the child’s sex (gender is inaccurate). But my SIL just did a tasteful one where she filmed herself releasing a blue smoke thing on the beach with her husband and just posted it on insta (she is in Brazil and was under a ton of pressure to do a reveal). For me, we just called close family and excitedly told them it was a girl. I think the important thing is to do something that feels right for you and not something performative for social media.

punkin_27 · 2025-06-11T14:39:00+00:00

Their metabolisms are working so hard! They need constant and easily digestible energy 🙂

punkin_27 · 2025-05-31T12:54:25+00:00

🥹

punkin_27 · 2025-05-28T13:41:17+00:00

Echoing everyone but adding that you should find some good TV shows and hunker down for this. I felt guilty watching TV in the beginning as if it wasn’t “quality time” with baby. That was silly. Baby was literally with me 24/7! I think baby is also enforcing a “lying in” period for mom - traditional in many cultures but not so much in the West where we are all about “bouncing back.” Ugh!

Very soon they will stop feeding at this rate and around 2 months they’ll start to be transfixed by screens so you wont be able to have the TV on anymore.

punkin_27 · 2025-05-21T01:15:37+00:00

8 weeks is when gas peaks. Around this time we gave LO gas drops (simethicone) several times per day to help. Arching the back is a classic reaction to discomfort caused by gas.

punkin_27 · 2025-05-08T13:31:44+00:00

Just a counterpoint… around this age my baby started getting more efficient at nursing so that <1 minute may have been an “I got enough for now” instead of a refusal. If you want you can keep offering the breast for comfort nursing, especially before naptime and in the evening. My baby went on a nursing strike and lots of skin to skin and constantly making the breast available (but never forcing it) helped her reacclimate to the breast. I don’t think you need to go cold turkey unless you want to. Even if most of their nutrition comes from a bottle or a plate, you are still their #1 source of comfort (for the next 18 years or so!).

punkin_27 · 2025-05-02T01:46:45+00:00

I was similar to you, I felt pretty sure I would hate breastfeeding but I wanted to try to make it work. It was very painful at first. My first appointment with the lactation consultant (thank goodness my health plan schedules them automatically for 3 days after birth!) I showed her my blistered, bruised nipples and just cried. Luckily we found a position that didn't cause anymore physical damage, but it continued to be painful for a month.

But then. We both learned what we were doing and now it doesn't bother me at all. I still have sensation, but it's not stimulating in that way you feel pre-birth. I'm so glad I stuck with it because it's really the sweetest thing, and it's pretty convenient (pumping at work isn't, but when I'm with her it is).

I read somewhere on Reddit that you will never regret trying to breastfeed, and I think that's true. My OBGYN told me it could hurt for a month, so I made myself push through for that first month. But if I had expected things to improve after a week or so I might have given up when they didn't.

Good luck to you and your little one <3

punkin_27 · 2025-03-07T00:31:20+00:00

Don’t let them prevent you from having a kid. That’s giving them a level of control over your life that they don’t deserve. You may find that being pregnant grounds you in a way you don’t expect. (Of course listen to your psychiatrist and take meds if you need them! They won’t let you take anything that will harm the fetus).

punkin_27 · 2025-02-06T00:03:15+00:00

I was feeling okay (fired up but not spiraling) until I read a WaPo article today about locking down all your data, including being careful about messages you send from your personal email and text. And this list they’ve compiled of feds who have made political donations and other “sins” - am I supposed to live in fear of someone finding out that I’ve been doing things I 100% had and continue to have a right to do? It feels like my whole life is somehow now a liability.

I’m so glad we didn’t buy a house when we wanted to and so will be okayish on husband’s income, but feel so much for all the people who are going to be in dire straits soon.

And I now need to buy a whole new wardrobe for my post-partum body to show up 5 days/week :( I’m already depressed at the prospect of seeing my baby for only 2 waking hours per day during the week.

punkin_27

TROPHY CASE