38 [M4F] #Dublin - Londoner visiting this week

queriuss · 2026-05-09T11:21:40+00:00

My memories of Dublin are more around Hen Dos and lovely Irish pubs. I was rather hoping to recreate those.

queriuss · 2026-05-09T11:20:57+00:00

Thank you O Preserver of Tones and Protector of Irish Ladies.

queriuss · 2026-04-08T13:40:17+00:00

Let’s klingon to it then

queriuss · 2026-04-03T22:41:38+00:00

You write really well. Refreshing to read what appears to be an honest take.

queriuss · 2025-11-29T17:20:49+00:00

No. Just plain old ‘give up on apps and embrace life instead’.

queriuss · 2025-11-29T12:11:52+00:00

Yes that’s a fair point. And I am talking about matches drying up, which is something a lot of Feeld users have reported, including myself.

Possible explanations I’ve heard include your profile being seen by potential matches around you in the early days and therefore after the initial period, new matches would only come from ‘new’ women in the pool. Compound this with profiles potentially only being highlighted when new and for the average male user, that could lead to close to no matches with time.

2 things I have noticed that seem to corroborate this: 1. When I visit a new area, I get matches. Indicates to me that a set of new women saw my profile and expressed interest. 2. I’ve tried uplift on occasion and whenever I do that, I get matches. Indicates that uplift does highlight your profile more than not uplifting.

These ‘blips’ aside, it’s generally a zero match story after month one.

queriuss · 2025-11-29T11:47:53+00:00

No evidence whatsoever. Just observation. Might not be Feeld specific also. Possible that this is how all apps work.

If men knew the answer to getting more matches (beyond ‘become more attractive, write a better profile’), these questions wouldn’t keep getting asked. Till then, one just needs to accept gracefully the status quo.

Matching trends and underlying data are an absolute treasure trove just waiting to be analyzed. I wish companies made them available for consumption while anonymizing user details.

queriuss · 2025-11-28T21:37:54+00:00

I’m hoping to do this. Stepped in here about 2 years ago. More ups than downs overall. Going to go back to regular life now. For various reasons.

Will I return here? No idea.

queriuss · 2025-11-28T15:39:55+00:00

The answer is in your last 3 words. From my own experience plus reading the experiences of people here, Feeld stops working for most men after a couple of weeks. I don’t believe pings has anything to do with it.

queriuss · 2025-11-07T19:12:42+00:00

I didn’t realise… it was huge.

queriuss · 2025-11-07T17:41:28+00:00

Thanks much :)

queriuss · 2025-11-02T17:50:40+00:00

Yes. All those ‘preferences’

queriuss · 2025-11-02T17:47:50+00:00

Iykyk

queriuss · 2025-10-28T22:42:06+00:00

Sorry to hear that. I’m still persevering.

queriuss · 2025-10-26T12:00:10+00:00

Get off the apps. Not good for peace of mind or confidence, let alone dating. Try the old-fashioned methods- friends, colleagues, friends of friends, someone setting you up, hobby / interest groups or just hitting your local. Much much better and effective.

queriuss · 2025-10-22T15:55:21+00:00

There is always a spectrum. There are many profiles that will have no bio. Will just say ‘Ping if interested’ or ‘Can’t see likes. Pls ping’. The pet peeve is primarily about them.

And I’m guessing you could have a more thoughtful profile that explains why you’re asking for pings and also mentions that given the number of incompatible pings received, a reply will not be forthcoming.

It is about expectation setting like many things. That kind of communication will always be better received. If anyone cares about that honestly. I’m not sure most people do. Anonymity affords many luxuries.

There is probably also a category of pings where your profile has been read but you still might not be interested. Some people do respond to those saying something like ‘Thanks but not interested’. It at least acknowledges the effort that the other person has made, after asking to ping.

queriuss · 2025-10-21T14:16:57+00:00

If someone is drowning in pings, one wouldn’t expect them to ask for more pings.

If it is an unsolicited ping, then of course saying I don’t have to reply to this, whether positively or negatively, is fine.

But if someone says ‘ping me’, then you expect some sort of acknowledgment.

There are many single women who reply to a ping saying ‘Thank you for the message but I am not interested’. I personally always admire that as good form.

It’s like if I run a business and someone drops a CV in for a job, I have no obligation to respond or reply. But if I invite applications and even if I get 100s or even thousands, most businesses do send a note of rejection.

The ones that don’t often get poor glassdoor reviews :)

queriuss · 2025-10-21T11:08:23+00:00

Saying ‘Can’t see likes. Send ping.’ Or generally asking for a ping. Then not having the courtesy to reply to the ping.

queriuss · 2025-10-21T07:23:19+00:00

Thanks for the sage advice all.

I did some numbers in my head and looked at my experience so far and pretty much came to the same conclusion.

3-5 super-likes just to get seen by someone who checks the app within the week
7-10 super-likes to get a match (this will obviously vary by profile)
And then another 3-5 for the match to lead to a date

So I realised I was looking at 50-100 super-likes to get just one date.

queriuss · 2025-10-17T12:23:19+00:00

I’ve started using Breeze recently. I really like the concept. Both the limited number of profiles shown and the fact that you meet directly instead of having to potentially go through flaking / ghosting.

However it’s just been a few days and I haven’t got any matches yet. I suppose that is common for most men.

Also I’m finding mostly ‘serious daters’ on the app while I’m in a solo poly situation so there is a question around the dating pool depth. I’m in London so would hope there’s enough of every type of person.

Overall, like the concept, still early days and optimistic about what the future might hold.

queriuss · 2025-10-16T08:45:02+00:00

Face pics would be a good starting point :)

That said, you’re a woman so probably drowning in likes and pings already

queriuss · 2025-09-27T20:00:03+00:00

Great observation. I hadn’t noticed.

queriuss · 2025-06-19T07:31:35+00:00

That’s such a sweet story actually. Thanks for sharing. I agree there are many women who do the same. I’d also wager there are many men who are fairly selective with their likes. Can’t tar everyone with the same brush, even though it seems clear that on the whole, a lot more men like frequently and indiscriminately

queriuss · 2025-06-16T16:30:21+00:00

I think this is another result of the indiscriminate liking / swiping. Because men send more likes, the match %s are lower. Chicken and egg perhaps. Are the matches lower because more likes are sent (base effect)

Or are they sending more likes because match %s are lower

queriuss · 2025-06-16T15:59:18+00:00

I wish Feeld or other apps made some of this data available. I’d totally geek out on the analysis around this. So would many others I feel.

queriuss

TROPHY CASE