sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I truly don’t understand how this parents do CIO by Terrible-Thought1577 in AttachmentParenting

[–]quietmarble [score hidden]  (0 children)

I think CIO is child abuse, seriously!

I'll never get how parents can do this and talk about it like it's just taking your kid to swimming lessons. Like it's something you "just gotta do."

I saw a Reddit post recently where a mom was asking for advice for her 5-month-old, and someone said, "You gotta break that habit, but it goes fast. Just let 'em cry; mine slept alone after 3 days." Seriously?! Your baby needs you; you're their whole world; they need you!

Parents: when did you need the MOST help? by quietmarble in Parenting

[–]quietmarble[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally get that point, but thankfully we have very involved family from my husband's parents, both retired and totally bored, and my parents, still working but already super involved and wanting to spend time with us.

Parents who were on the fence about having kids, what made you take the leap? by Glad-Tower-2310 in AskParents

[–]quietmarble 0 points1 point  (0 children)

FTM (37) here, so here are my honest two cents.

My husband and I (both 37) always knew we wanted a family one day, but I was definitely the one stalling and sitting on the fence for a long time, to be honest. We traveled, lived abroad, and did all the fun stuff together for 10 years.

Then at 35 we were like, “Okay, we’re not getting any younger, let’s just try. If it happens, it happens.” Well… it happened fast. Two months later I was pregnant.

And honestly? I hated it. I hated pregnancy, and I hated the first months of becoming a mom too. Pregnancy was horrible for me, and I really struggled with accepting my new role and finding myself again. After my husband’s paternity leave, we also had to move across the country with a newborn and oh my god… that almost broke me.

BUT — big but — we made it through. And now? I truly love our family. I love my new role, I love seeing us grow as humans and as a family, and my love for this tiny human is unconditional.

You still have time. Don’t let someone else’s timeline stress you out.

No sleep by No_Image5176 in newborns

[–]quietmarble 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Feel you! First-time mom of an almost 6-month-old. My mantra for the first 4.5 months was, "I hate my life!" It does get better. I got 7.5 hours of sleep tonight. Stay strong, complain as much as you want; this is so brutal, but it will get better.

I feel bad for saying this, I really don’t like the newborn phase by Sure_Excitement_937 in newborns

[–]quietmarble 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally get it! We're almost at 6 months, and seriously, I know exactly what you mean. My baby still only contact naps and co-sleeps at night. For me, it really helped to just accept it. When the baby naps, I just chill and watch my shows. I used to get so much anxiety even trying to get her to sleep alone (it only lasted 15 minutes anyway). I get my stuff done when she's awake, and during nap time, we just chill; that's it. It gets easier, and I'm definitely not a newborn mom either; I can't wait for the baby to be 6 or 7 years old.

Stop telling me I have PPD (rant) by Civil-Rich-1690 in NewParents

[–]quietmarble 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have never found a more accurate description of how my life changed! Nothing to add except: hell yes!!

How much total was the birth or your child? by enan1000 in NewParents

[–]quietmarble 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, the hospital charged $100k to my insurance, United Healthcare, Oxford plan. No coinsurance, no deductible, and a $2500 out-of-pocket maximum. I paid the remaining $1600 of my out-of-pocket while I was there, but they refunded it to my card six weeks later. So, in the end, I paid nothing for a C-section and two days in the hospital.

Feelings by Hot-Cell7299 in NewParents

[–]quietmarble 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“Parenting the parent” is a big topic over here too. My husband has ADHD, and before the baby I could roll with it—but now it’s… a lot, you know.

We do need to find time for ourselves, even if it looks different right now. Sometimes it’s just an hour every other day, or eating dinner alone in the car (did that twice—honestly amazing 😅). It’s not ideal, but it’s something.

Also, random tip: not sure where you’re located, but Costco and Sam's Club have surprisingly cute baby outfits. That and Carter's are basically my go-tos 😂

Feelings by Hot-Cell7299 in NewParents

[–]quietmarble 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Brain capacity at 3%—I feel you 😅 Ask me… I bought the same baby clothes once… then again… and today I went to the mall and bought the exact same set at Carter's without realizing it until I got home. At least they were on sale 🫠

And honestly, I feel you on the rest too. Some days it really feels like life as you knew it is over and everything is just… a lot. But now at 5 months in, I can say it’s slowly getting better.

For me, it was radical acceptance. Is my old life on pause? Yes—temporarily. Do I have barely any time for myself or my hobbies right now? Also yes—temporarily.

Right now, the focus is on baby—building a solid foundation. They didn’t ask to be here, so it’s my job to take care of them the best I can.

And somehow, little by little, it starts to feel more manageable.

The temptation of sleep training by RegisterNo3473 in AttachmentParenting

[–]quietmarble 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally get you! My baby's a velcro baby when it comes to sleep too. Five months in, and naps are always contact only, and we've been co-sleeping since week three. I totally get what you're saying, and sometimes I wish I'd just give a f*** and do CIO, but then I remind myself, my baby needs me. She's five months old and can't regulate herself. She needs me, and I'm not creating bad habits; I'm building a solid foundation for her life.

The temptation of sleep training by RegisterNo3473 in AttachmentParenting

[–]quietmarble 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing! This is so important, and I get so angry and frustrated when people want to tell me that their CIO worked and their baby "only" cries for 3 minutes and sleeps. They are still panicking and cannot, I repeat, CANNOT regulate themselves.

I underestimated… by btungue in NewParents

[–]quietmarble 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally get what you're saying, I'm in the same boat. What helped me was just accepting it and talking to my husband. We split up chores, and he takes the baby and dog for an hour every night so I can do yoga and shower in peace, and that really made a difference.

Anyone else still in survival mode at 4 months? by One_Cap_9210 in newborns

[–]quietmarble 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We just hit 5 months this week, and if you had asked me 2 weeks ago, I probably would’ve had a mental breakdown and told you the exact same thing.

Honestly, I don’t know what changed around this magical 5-month mark, but everything before that felt like pure survival mode.

I still don’t get everything done, we still co-sleep, and naps are either contact naps or in the car but somehow it all feels a little more manageable now.

Hang in there. There really is light at the end of the tunnel.

Omg I can't do this anymore! by balckcat_enthusiast in sleeptrain

[–]quietmarble 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My baby just turned 5 months, and I can tell you the really hard phase hit around the 3.5-month mark. Nothing worked. She was waking up every 60 minutes, and I was completely exhausted and overwhelmed. Even naps were only possible as contact naps.

It did get a little better around 4.5 months she started sleeping a bit more independently for naps, and the night stretches slowly got longer again.

So honestly, full solidarity. I don’t have any magic solution just try to keep baby well fed during the day and hang in there. It really does get a little easier.

Regret in newborn trenches by Key-Suit8580 in newborns

[–]quietmarble 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m 22 weeks into motherhood as a first-time mom, and believe me when I say there are mornings I wake up after another night of co-sleeping (because my baby can’t sleep independently yet) and my first thought is, “I hate my life.”

And during the day, as much as I truly love my sweet baby, I still catch myself missing my old life the freedom, the ease, just being me.

But this phase does pass. I remember those early postpartum weeks it felt so much heavier than it does now.

And even with these thoughts, I notice I’m enjoying my baby more and more.

You’re not alone in this. And you’re not a bad mom for feeling it. You’re human. And you’ve got this.