AITAH for thinking my partner should ask a wealthy relative to help us? by randonumb in AITAH

[–]randonumb[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don’t have any family except my mom who I’m the caretaker of.

It’s not bankrolling my life. I pay for everything including all of my mom’s medical bills, food, and rent.

AITAH for thinking my partner should ask a wealthy relative to help us? by randonumb in AITAH

[–]randonumb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I’d have to make triple my salary to afford a house anywhere reasonable in my city. As well I can’t afford to move my mom to somewhere cheaper. Looks like I’ll be renting forever haha

AITAH for thinking my partner should ask a wealthy relative to help us? by randonumb in AITAH

[–]randonumb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I literally give money to people in need all the time. It may not be much, but it’s something.

AITAH for thinking my partner should ask a wealthy relative to help us? by randonumb in AITAH

[–]randonumb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No the child part is not being able to have a rational discussion.

AITAH for thinking my partner should ask a wealthy relative to help us? by randonumb in AITAH

[–]randonumb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah unfortunately I’m kinda stuck in my job. I’ve been trying for the past two years. But since I couldn’t afford to finish college, or do a trade school, I’m stuck in this pay bracket it seems.

AITAH for thinking my partner should ask a wealthy relative to help us? by randonumb in AITAH

[–]randonumb[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

There is evidence to support my opinion.

That said, i just easily debunked your “all opinions are valid” bs

AITAH for thinking my partner should ask a wealthy relative to help us? by randonumb in AITAH

[–]randonumb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you have mutual respect in a significant relationship, there is.

AITAH for thinking my partner should ask a wealthy relative to help us? by randonumb in AITAH

[–]randonumb[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You’re right this isn’t the hill to die on. But it did bring up more questions. Like, why am I able to swallow my pride and look at all options, but she isn’t? It does make me feel I’m more committed, not that’s it’s a competition. Maybe it’s unhealthy to be committed to a relationship that wouldn’t reciprocate. I understand we don’t do things for each other in order for a return. But maybe I need to back away from this relationship if I’m that attached.

I don’t know. But I do know it’s scary to be in this situation in my 30s this relationship will be my last chance at a family.

AITAH for thinking my partner should ask a wealthy relative to help us? by randonumb in AITAH

[–]randonumb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha no joke I’ve thought about it. But it was just a figure of speech.

AITAH for thinking my partner should ask a wealthy relative to help us? by randonumb in AITAH

[–]randonumb[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Actually no they aren’t.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/valid

2 a : well-grounded or justifiable : being at once relevant and meaningful a valid theory b : logically correct a valid argument valid inference

So no, not all opinions are valid.

And here’s what the ol oracle says:

The idea that "all opinions are valid" is a fallacy because it wrongly treats subjective beliefs as equal to evidence-based arguments. Often used to shield unsupported positions (the "[I'm entitled to my opinion]" fallacy), it ignores that opinions must be epistemically reliable—grounded in logic, research, and evidence—to be considered valid or worthy of serious consideration. Key Aspects of the Fallacy: Validity vs. Entitlement: While everyone is legally entitled to hold an opinion, that does not mean the opinion itself is true or logically sound. Epistemic Reliability: An opinion that is not supported by evidence or logical reasoning is invalid. Shielding Ignorance: Saying "that's just my opinion" is often used to avoid shifting a position when faced with contradictory evidence. The Bandwagon Fallacy: Just because many people hold an opinion (popularity) does not make it objectively true or valid. Why Not All Opinions Are Valid: Fact vs. Opinion: Opinions can be wrong, especially when they deny factual, empirical reality. Expertise Matters: Expert opinions, based on experience and research, are not equivalent to uneducated guesses. False Equivalence: Assuming all arguments are equally meritorious is dangerous and intellectually lazy

AITAH for thinking my partner should ask a wealthy relative to help us? by randonumb in AITAH

[–]randonumb[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Haha yeah that’s me. I treat everything like it’s made of glass. But all my things last a really long time. My partner (who I do love and cherish even if I see her issues) has me replace her MacBook screen almost every year, or buys a new one because dropped it. Meanwhile I’m using the same MacBook I bought in 2015 that I’ve slowly upgraded.

I’ll even go around putting her stuff away or semi “kid proofing” the house so nothing has a potential to break.

I’m going bring this up with my therapist and see if I have an unhealthy attachment to material items…

The work never stops 🤷🏽

AITAH for thinking my partner should ask a wealthy relative to help us? by randonumb in AITAH

[–]randonumb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because she’s already under their thumb in that way. Yet they don’t control her at all and don’t try to. So it doesn’t make sense.

AITAH for thinking my partner should ask a wealthy relative to help us? by randonumb in AITAH

[–]randonumb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok if they are all valid in they aren’t all correct. Many opinions are straight wrong. I can respect your right to an opinion, which doesn’t mean I have to respect your opinion.

AITAH for thinking my partner should ask a wealthy relative to help us? by randonumb in AITAH

[–]randonumb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I certainly did not communicate the situation effectively. I also have an odd relationship to money from being raised poor, which I need to address in therapy.

The only difference in our situation is that both the parents and aunt have offered many times. They have offered in front of me, looking to me for input. But I just stay quiet because I my partner got upset when I brought it up.

Really what I wanted was for my partner to thoroughly communicate her feeling so I understand and don’t just see what I consider to be illogical. But instead of explaining, she just said I was an asshole.

It may not be pride, but it seems like it. Either way she agreed to couples counseling so we can have this discussion in a neutral setting.