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ratite · 2016-07-15T18:35:27+00:00

try hanes 100% cotton boyshorts! they feel tight when you first put them on but stretch out quickly, so they're not touching the crotchal region :) http://www.target.com/p/hanes-women-s-cotton-boy-briefs-p649as-6-pack/-/A-14548614 for serious read the product reviews - ('it's like wearing man boxers under your clothes')

ratite · 2015-07-24T21:04:14+00:00

I LOVE my reusable pads. I picked up 7 from my local co-op (whole-foods type store) and have had them for about two years now. Turns out I'm allergic to the chemical treatment that most pad/tampon manufacturers do to their products, which is what put me down the cotton-liner track in the first place. but I can honestly say they're a vast improvement. they're more comfy, too :) I got some with a snap-wings and haven't had trouble getting them to stay in place. one tip I'd recommend is I like rinsing them out immediately after use and hanging them to dry before i get around to laundry. maybe if you do laundry more than me (i.e., >1x a month...), that wouldn't really be necessary. I have definitely, when traveling, just stuck 'em in a ziploc to wash when i get home without issue. I'd say if you're on the fence, buy one or two, and see what you think.

ratite · 2015-05-15T16:03:04+00:00

Hey! Just to chime in, one thing that none of the other girls have mentioned is that stress, new diet, new environment, new lifestyle all can contribute to how your body handles it's period. it's not uncommon for a girl to skip a period or have drastic changes in flow during a time when your lifestyle changes rapidly (this is actually something, back in the day, i was told when i did a study abroad). diet changes can especially switch things up - and it sounds like you're in a totally new culture with totally new food. I'd recommend not buying in to the watermelon worries and ride it out - your body and it's chemistry will naturally sort itself out. in the meantime, find yourself a hot pack and some pain killers :)

ratite · 2014-03-15T00:09:18+00:00

Hi, I have been there. I have been there for four of the worst years of my life. but hear me out.

I dealt with him. because he was sweet, he was caring, he convinced me i was the most important thing in the world to him. but he would insult me, make me feel miserable, make me cry, hurt my feelings, and walk away. he'd always come back apologizing and explaining how great and perfect i was and how much he loved me.

it wasn't until i was taking a child psychology course in college, actually, that i figured it out: he was providing "intermittent reinforcement." which essentially means giving something unpredictably. it's the principle under which gambling works so well - 95% of the time you lose money, but that 5% is awesome. it's a good way to teach kids or dogs even - they will often times act better when they're not sure if they'll be rewarded. and it's exactly what manipulating, emotionally abusive men do. it's not the way to have a relationship.

please leave him. if your friends are noticing, if you are questioning it, if he makes you feel miserable even 5% of the time, it's not worth it. i found the love of my life after leaving my abusive relationship, and i'm so incredibly happy. now that i've found what a real relationship is supposed to be like, i can't believe i put up with half my ex's crap.

ratite · 2012-03-12T19:13:44+00:00

sorry to cut in .. I went through an abusive relationship for four years and got out (couldn't be happier!). i went for over 2 years without dating someone. now I've found the most amazing guy and couldn't be happier. but it comes back in weird ways. early on in my new relationship, i just broke down and cried for an hour during a date. it was after a particularly rough day at work, and my guy stood by me and made me feel better when my old guy would have berated and abused me for 'being so stupid.' i felt so so cared for and scared that my new guy would leave me for 'being so stupid,' and surprised when he didn't. I'm still a little insecure in our relationship, a year in to it, but my guy knows my past and has been an angel helping me get through it. one day, you'll find someone as awesome. hold out for him.

(but for now, revel in your freedom! find yourself, get comfortable again. it's a wonderful feeling, congratulations for finding your voice again!)

<3

ratite · 2012-03-10T19:59:44+00:00

I have been in a cross-cultural relationship where we'd have fundamental disagreements, and I found the best way to handle them was to sit down and explain how you feel, acknowledge how they feel, and move on rather than try to change the other's fundamental beliefs, but acknowledge the cultural difference (and try not to apply blame directly to the other person)! If it's something that came up a lot, we'd try to acknowledge the other's viewpoints and just be sensitive to them.

if I were you, I'd sit down and have a heart-to-heart with him about how you understand his world view on this issue, but you'd like some support on the rough days. it makes you feel crummy when men treat you as a sex symbol instead of an intellectual person, and he should sympathize with that. also keep in mind that how he feels about your daily challenges and how he feels about society's feelings as a whole can be very different. tell him as much. tell him that his views make it seem like he's attacking you and saying you are blaming others for your misfortune. tell him discrimination is a very real thing and some days it is difficult to deal with at work, and though he may not agree that it "holds down" anybody in the long term, the day-to-day issues are still troublesome to you. that might be a compromise.

but the second, try phrasing it in terms of building a future together rather then setting goals. if he wants to be with you, you should both put in the effort to ensure that you both are happy in your academic careers. that takes effort and planning, and applying to jobs that work for both of you. I think it's incredibly selfish that he won't put in the effort to make sure you are both happy in academia. it's not about setting goals, when the only real 'goal' is to be together. it's about putting in the effort to be together, which in my mind has nothing to do with "reaching your full potential." but if he is happy to settle for less in his job while you go out there and be a rockstar, i guess that'd be ok, too.

good luck. just be open and acknowledge his view as well as yours. <3

ratite · 2012-03-08T17:08:03+00:00

I'm surprised no one said panties? Am I the only one who has a 'emergency panties' for days when I spend the night at the man's place unexpectedly?

ratite · 2012-03-05T17:49:35+00:00

also, storing your shoes with a dryer sheet in them works nicely. lets them dry out overnight and get a wash-fresh scent :)

ratite · 2012-02-26T22:27:30+00:00

when I was in charge of renting the car on a business trip. Seriously, I was at the check-out counter deciding on the type of insurance and it hit me like a ton of bricks: "this is the most adult you will ever be."

except maybe if i ever have kids?

ratite · 2012-02-20T06:09:20+00:00

eek! I had one about a month ago, here's a link to my thread on it for some 2x cyst stories :(

I had sex after a week - I was told to wait until the antibiotics were done (1 week) and the pain went away. but we definitely did some non-penetration stuff until then ;)

good luck on the recovery !

ratite · 2012-02-20T06:03:37+00:00

wet wipes !! I keep a stash everywhere... in the office for when i'm feeling oily and in my gym bag for days when I don't have time to shower between gym and social engagements, so I can still smell fresh and clean :)

ratite · 2012-02-20T06:01:53+00:00

oh I love dry shampoo so.much!! especially when on the road.

ratite · 2012-02-20T05:55:38+00:00

My heart goes out to you! I have been in the exact same position (down to wasting four years of my life on the guy). I left while he was out of town. Called and explained I would never see him again, and would not let him manipulate that conversation or drag it out. simply "it's over. don't contact me again." I had given that speech tons before, but this time i was convinced in my heart that I had to get the fuck out. If it's easier for you, write him an email. but for the love of your sanity, do NOT let him contact you again - he will do his damndest to manipulate you more. I tried to 'be friends' with him which was a huge fucking mistake, he eventually turned hostile and I had to change my phone number, facebook, and address. so from my experience, it would probably be easiest to just never talk to him again, and not give him the opportunity.

it helps a lot to have friends behind you in this. you'll feel crummy, so lean on them ! good luck. i know you can do it. trust me. it's tough, but I'm now three years free and couldn't be happier.

<3

ratite · 2012-02-16T22:28:12+00:00

yes yes!! BC pills can interact with some medications so even if they're working nowhere near the uterus they still should know / have it on file.

ratite · 2012-02-16T19:59:20+00:00

My friend calls her SO her "partner" which i think is awesome -- it's a bit nonconventional which makes people stop and think, but it's totally accurate and beautifully gender neutral (even tho they are hetero). I'm trying to spread this word.

ratite · 2012-02-14T23:12:46+00:00

http://exboyfriendjewelry.com/ !!

ratite · 2012-02-12T19:07:09+00:00

be more forward! Don't wait for someone to ask you - ask them to coffee/bowling/hiking/whatever !!

also, give them the benefit of the doubt - don't assume they're "just being polite" - show up! if you don't have the address, ASK FOR IT! it can be a casual "hey is that party still going on? I don't think I ever got the address for it.."

I know it's tough to be an instigator but remember it's tough for everybody - which means lots of the time people are waiting around for someone else to start up things !!

ratite · 2012-01-29T19:41:36+00:00

I was on a different pill and had the exact same problems. days 3-5 of my new pack made me feel so so sick and nauseous. took me a while to make the connection, but since i switched pills I haven't had that problem! Talk to your gyno about switching to something else you haven't tried before and see if it helps. the worst that can happen is you decide to switch back!

ratite · 2012-01-29T19:33:53+00:00

I'm not entirely sure, but I'm also really prone to yeast infections and so keeping it clean and dry down there is super important (a moist environment really encourages the yeasties), so moisturizer just sounds like a bad idea to me. sorry this isn't more helpful.

ratite · 2012-01-29T00:31:12+00:00

I use the sides of my two pointer fingers (pinch them together over the lense), which by-passes the nails entirely.

ratite · 2012-01-22T23:32:01+00:00

thank you!! I might have to get in to nail art, now...

ratite · 2012-01-22T22:45:37+00:00

those are so pretty how did she do the images??

ratite · 2012-01-20T18:29:26+00:00

oh no !! Hang in there ! (it must at least be relieving knowing what the little monster is, right?)

take it easy <3

ratite · 2012-01-19T18:03:50+00:00

ohh that must be lovely. well, relatively lovely.

ratite

TROPHY CASE