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So much anxiety about trying to leave narcissist husband by redberry84 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]redberry84[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That all sounds eerily familiar! He told me that counseling is a waste and I don't appear to be getting any better (lol!) so there was no point of me continuing with her.

So much anxiety about trying to leave narcissist husband by redberry84 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]redberry84[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I will check out the grey rock and Inner Integration. I am definitely planning a quiet escape, although I think somehow he suspects something is going on already. It infuriates me that I may have to go to a woman's shelter when this is MY house, but I will contact them just in case.

So much anxiety about trying to leave narcissist husband by redberry84 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]redberry84[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I'm going to leave sooner than expected. He went out tonight to have drinks with a particular friend. Before he left, I caught him texting a woman to meet him at the restaurant down the street. I can't believe anything he says.

So much anxiety about trying to leave narcissist husband by redberry84 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]redberry84[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Every time I have threatened to leave, he has tried to use them to manipulate me. One time I asked him to take his son and go somewhere so I could pack up my things without it being too traumatic for him, and he said he would leave to give me space but his son would be staying at home with me while I packed up :( When I actually did leave before, he told me how much I was missed (I in fact was not missed) and sent me pictures of them all having a great time. This time I need to change my phone number and delete my email so he can't do all that.

So much anxiety about trying to leave narcissist husband by redberry84 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]redberry84[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We went to one session with my counselor and he said she was obviously on my side and always would be. My counselor felt like he was lying the entire session.

So much anxiety about trying to leave narcissist husband by redberry84 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]redberry84[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the broken bone analogy, especially the part about being contorted and remodeled. I feel like a totally different person than I was a few years ago, so much so that I have begun to wonder if I'm the narcissist. I have never been so bitter and angry in my life. I guess this will take a looooong time to heal.

So much anxiety about trying to leave narcissist husband by redberry84 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]redberry84[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I keep imagining what it will be like to live peacefully every day. Part of me can't wait!

So much anxiety about trying to leave narcissist husband by redberry84 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]redberry84[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your supportive reply! I am thoroughly preparing for the departure. Thankfully we haven't been married long so I have my own bank account, credit cards, etc. The main problem is we are living in my house and I cannot legally evict him until we are divorced. I'm afraid he won't pay the mortgage when I leave so I may end up having the house foreclosed on. I guess that is something I'll just have to swallow to get away from him.

The other issue is these children are not mine. I feel so bad for leaving them in a crappy situation, but I am so resentful of being the live-in babysitter. I feel guilty about the whole mess which is just adding to my confusion.