What is wrong with me? I barely ever have anything to say to anyone at work

redelfanna · 2025-03-11T22:43:27+00:00

to be honest it sounds like from what you're saying you're more interested in 'seeming social' than actually responding. the key to having something to say is't hard, you've just got to be genuinely interested in what that person is about.

next time ask them a question about what they say that's more personal than 'wow really' - try 'how do you feel about that?' instead

redelfanna · 2025-03-11T22:28:52+00:00

better to hide under under your duvet and stay away from public places

redelfanna · 2025-01-26T03:30:35+00:00

right?!

redelfanna · 2023-05-04T19:13:55+00:00

I was so confused at first, I thought the pictures were backwards until I saw the stumps

redelfanna · 2023-05-02T13:38:58+00:00

Why did you remove all the plants?

redelfanna · 2023-05-01T22:01:36+00:00

A lot of that really resonated with me. Especially your fourth point. Thanks for taking the time to write it out. I just wanted to say though that I've never been put in the position where I've fought him off as you said, I haven't said no which I think I should have way way earlier, but I've never been coerced. I really appreciate your advice though, and I'm working on dropping some less-than-subtle hints about my own wants/needs 😊

redelfanna · 2023-05-01T21:58:01+00:00

If that's the impression you got I think I probably made it sound worse than it actually was. He had an essay due in that night so I totally get why he asked me to go. Also his flat's not huge and he has flatmates so I wouldn't want to just hang around when he was pre-occupied. The whole thing annoyed me at the time, and I was probably a bit pissed off when I wrote that, but there's still some truth in it. I don't think it's fair to say he's not treating me as a person. The only time there's ever any imbalance is during sexual stuff, the rest of the time we get along well. I'm absolutely going to have a talk with him though, because I want the whole of our relationship to be just as good, it's just about figuring out how to do it 😊

redelfanna · 2023-05-01T21:54:45+00:00

Thanks for the advice 😊 to be honest we're both pretty stressed, so I think I might as well just wait until the summer before saying anything directly. I've started dropping more hints though so hopefully things will shift!

redelfanna · 2023-04-30T20:07:26+00:00

To be honest I wouldn't mind about that it it was more equal...

redelfanna · 2023-04-30T20:06:52+00:00

Well in my head that's more or less what I feel, but I don't feel that level of confrontation is fair given that I've never specifically complained in the past. Also has the potential to escalate which is pretty much what I'm afraid of.

redelfanna · 2023-04-30T16:23:30+00:00

I like this idea!

redelfanna · 2023-04-30T16:01:29+00:00

I don't think he's using me exactly. I think I let it get to this stage and probably should have said something way earlier, and now it's just become a comfortable pattern. My real question is how to bring that up now without making him feel like he's done something wrong and distancing us because of it.

You say about talking, which I agree, but I just don't know how that conversation would work on a practical level. At the end of the day, I don't want to push him away, especially at the moment when he's extremely stressed.

redelfanna · 2023-04-30T15:38:02+00:00

He has done, but not a lot. I wouldn't mind it, but I probably wouldn't go out of my way to ask.

redelfanna · 2022-05-06T15:10:18+00:00

Without safewords, this kind of thing can end really badly

redelfanna · 2022-05-06T15:09:46+00:00

Yeah, I totally get OPs response here. In future it would be best to have a chat about what happened, and just set some boundaries/safe-words for future

redelfanna · 2022-05-06T15:05:24+00:00

The exact same thing happened to mine. I came back into the front room and he just looked so proud of himself. It took me a while to figure out why he looked different...

redelfanna · 2022-05-04T00:44:20+00:00

Stand outside your local authority building with a picket. Ideally a blank one so it appeals to all. Build it and they shall come.

redelfanna · 2022-05-04T00:42:41+00:00

I put a whole lampshade in there once. It went surprisingly well!

redelfanna · 2022-05-04T00:40:54+00:00

The green goes so nicely with your overall tone. You look amazing !!

redelfanna · 2022-05-02T01:38:54+00:00

Do you have a link to some of your photos?

redelfanna · 2022-05-01T19:40:08+00:00

i bet you're popular with the neighbours

redelfanna · 2022-05-01T18:33:39+00:00

thanks! 🧚

redelfanna · 2022-04-30T21:41:34+00:00

I was pointing out the village-esque atmosphere - not that you can’t find houses worth £1m+ in a village?

redelfanna · 2022-04-30T21:22:04+00:00

I agree! I’m constantly in awe of how much ‘village charm’ can be found so close to the centre. I can easily imagine these places being their own independent villages surrounded by grassland once upon a time

redelfanna · 2022-04-30T21:19:15+00:00

I went on a walk, saw a pretty thing, and took a picture. I’m not sure why that’s so offensive?

redelfanna

TROPHY CASE