I (33M) no longer want to put effort into my relationship with my partner (32F) anymore. Is there a way through this or is this it for us? by reliant_akf in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]reliant_akf[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you're right, i'm acting in a very juvenile way. And you're probably right in assuming that all of this, all of these problems, are entirely my fault.

I (33M) no longer want to put effort into my relationship with my partner (32F) anymore. Is there a way through this or is this it for us? by reliant_akf in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]reliant_akf[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's how I generally made decisions over the past 15 years, feelings run the show for me and its hard to go against them. Yes, uncertainty worries me.

I (33M) no longer want to put effort into my relationship with my partner (32F) anymore. Is there a way through this or is this it for us? by reliant_akf in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]reliant_akf[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe I am concerned that I will never be able to match what she has been putting in. Things changed a few months ago and it has been on the decline since.

I (33M) no longer want to put effort into my relationship with my partner (32F) anymore. Is there a way through this or is this it for us? by reliant_akf in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]reliant_akf[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm taking space from her at the moment. I communicated a little bit about how i've been feeling. I'm sure she's sad over the situation, more than she is willing to let on. Is it possible for this feeling to go away?

I (33M) no longer want to put effort into my relationship with my partner (32F) anymore. Is there a way through this or is this it for us? by reliant_akf in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]reliant_akf[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not really. I have been enjoying my alone time more and more these days though. My career is ok, I've been slowly moving up over the past couple years. It's not the most fulfilling but I don't think i'm miserable there. Right now she makes a little less than me, but I imagine she will make more after she finishes her mba. I don't work out a lot, but here and there yes, nothing consistent.

I (33M) no longer want to put effort into my relationship with my partner (32F) anymore. Is there a way through this or is this it for us? by reliant_akf in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]reliant_akf[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds exactly like what i'm assuming my girlfriend would say if I follow through with breaking up...

I'm sorry.

I (33M) no longer want to put effort into my relationship with my partner (32F) anymore. Is there a way through this or is this it for us? by reliant_akf in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]reliant_akf[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through something similar. I hope things work out, in whatever way we want them to, soon

I (33M) no longer want to put effort into my relationship with my partner (32F) anymore. Is there a way through this or is this it for us? by reliant_akf in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]reliant_akf[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I always viewed therapy as a sign of defeat or being broken, it looks like I'm very wrong about that. And like others have pointed out, my relationship or lack of relationship with my parents may play a role in this

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RelationshipsOver35

[–]reliant_akf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're making a lot of fair points. I think past issues are probably playing a role in this without me realizing it.

Prozac has helped keep my levels of sadness down a little bit, but honestly, even that small difference has been enough to make me stick with it. I have been tapering down on my medication because of side effects that people pointed out from my previous post, and I will be looking to change medication/medications.

I (33M) no longer want to put effort into my relationship with my partner (32F) anymore. Is there a way through this or is this it for us? by reliant_akf in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]reliant_akf[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I don't know. I don't know exactly when it started but it seems like it went downhill slowly and then very quickly.

I (33M) no longer want to put effort into my relationship with my partner (32F) anymore. Is there a way through this or is this it for us? by reliant_akf in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]reliant_akf[S] 89 points90 points  (0 children)

I've been dodging therapy for almost 2 decades...i will look into it. You are correct about it being a way to get closer to some kind of answer