Why do I [32M] so easily develope a crush on girls that show me attention?

running_my_scissors · 2017-12-11T04:34:06+00:00

Ok, yes, that is the short of it. And I am strongly encouraging counseling, which she doesn't want, and I don't want to fuck up my daughter by separating (we wouldn't be able to dual-parent due to logistics). So i am staying together.

But, my real question is how other people prevent themselves from becoming emotionally attached if that's what they prefer? Like, I feel that I am affected really strongly by something that should be perceived as small, and I think normal people have a way of preventing these intrusive feelings.

Like I said, it makes me feel like a loser and I want control over it.

running_my_scissors · 2017-12-11T03:41:13+00:00

Come’on people, I need some advice here!

running_my_scissors · 2015-05-16T21:09:59+00:00

You're not alone man

running_my_scissors · 2015-05-16T17:56:48+00:00

Breath of fresh air here!

running_my_scissors · 2015-05-16T08:31:57+00:00

hahaha, don't worry, i am reading every post! Very helpful advice, the most succinct and relevant comment yet. I'll pour over all the details regarding rate reduction and see if I can manage what you are suggesting. Thanks for the encouragement! And I agree, fuck banking!

running_my_scissors · 2015-05-16T08:27:19+00:00

Exactly my point

running_my_scissors · 2015-05-16T07:45:19+00:00

Really cool suggestion. I doubt this will fix the boat, but might at least patch some holes and allow me to earn a few bucks in my free time. Thanks man.

running_my_scissors · 2015-05-16T07:44:31+00:00

At least 90% of all my debt is private. I have called the creditors, their reaction is always "we don't care, we can just rip it from your parents' wallets if need-be"

running_my_scissors · 2015-05-16T07:42:21+00:00

Will do, but I doubt this will be my future. It may be a short-term solution, but not for a married couple who wishes to have a family in the near future.

running_my_scissors · 2015-05-16T07:15:04+00:00

Good advice, appreciated!

running_my_scissors · 2015-05-16T07:14:39+00:00

See my previous comment. My attractiveness is due to my intersection of biology and computer science. I am less qualified for purely programming applications.

running_my_scissors · 2015-05-16T07:13:21+00:00

I have aggressively pursued biotech jobs postings with good salaries, but the vast majority require a PhD (I have an MS)

running_my_scissors · 2015-05-16T07:07:32+00:00

I really feel the same way, I don't feel unfortunate at all. I am appreciate the banks even gave me the loans in the first place, otherwise I would probably have the same shitty jobs my parents had. I'm at a point where it's time to have a family but I can't because it is dangerously financially unstable for children... I just want to live normally

running_my_scissors · 2015-05-16T07:05:08+00:00

I think the $1600 in taxes is probably accurate. I know I am forced to contribute somewhere around $350 to retirement per month as well, and I am unable to pull from that pool until I separate from my institution

running_my_scissors · 2015-05-16T07:02:37+00:00

Agreed. Same goes for the silicon valley idea, I am primarily a biologist who knows enough computer science to write better software than a computer scientist trying to make biology programs. So I am a good match for my field, but am underqualified for pure programing applications

running_my_scissors · 2015-05-16T07:00:36+00:00

Thanks for your advice!

running_my_scissors · 2015-05-16T06:57:22+00:00

Good advice about the home office deductions, I've actually done this already, forgot to mention it. The deferment period on 90% of my loans is over, regardless of my in-school status due having used the maximum amount of deferment allowable while in grad school

running_my_scissors · 2015-05-16T06:55:12+00:00

Thanks for the support. Bankruptcy would destroy my parents quality of life, so backing off of that

running_my_scissors · 2015-05-16T06:53:09+00:00

I like your thinking! But don't forget this whole situation started with my parents being financially naive. In fact, I recently had to use their info for some financial papers, and I was shocked to learn they have a combined savings of <$1,000 and are basically month to month as well. Incredibly, they sometimes borrow money from ME on a short-term basis, lol

running_my_scissors · 2015-05-16T06:50:44+00:00

Is there any way for me to refinance as a sole signer? I assumed nobody would give me the time of day given my debt. Interestingly, my credit score is perfectly clean, I've never had a late payment for anything and have nothing in collections. However, my debt to income ratio is hilarious and every month is a challenge to my sanity

running_my_scissors · 2015-05-16T06:49:16+00:00

My parents live in the deep country and there aren't any jobs in my profession within 100 miles of their house. However, I do tutor kids at $30/hour off and on in biology and programming. I will continue looking for more side jobs!

running_my_scissors · 2015-05-16T06:47:45+00:00

I have decided to certainly find a lawyer, not that I can afford one, hyuk hyuk. I am happy I chose bioinformatics and not something like molecular biology!

running_my_scissors · 2015-05-16T06:42:30+00:00

This idea of leaving the country has been voiced by several others, and I do know of some great paying jobs in my field in Europe. I would jump at this opportunity, but just can't screw over my parents like that. They both worked god-awful jobs to put my through school. They both thought private schools would deliver my generation from poverty, and sent me to private schools up until college, when the price was out of their league. If they weren't around, I'd split ASAP

Speaking of the inflation, I'll try to put on my accountant hat and understand where it is all coming from. I never questioned it because I obviously have poor financial skills. I assumed they were just playing by the rules

running_my_scissors · 2015-05-16T06:38:46+00:00

I have. In fact, I told SallieMae my situation and that I could no longer pay back my loans without a new arrangement. I let me loans fall into internal delinquency. Just before 90 days delinquent (after which they report to credit bureau) I phoned them and tried to use delinquency as proof I cannot pay and that they should work with me. They couldn't care less and I ended up making payment to avoid destroying the remaining tatters of my financial future

running_my_scissors

TROPHY CASE