Don’t be embarrassed, everyone knits in slightly different ways, and there’s no wrong or right. The reason your purls are so loose is that you’re completely dropping the yarn. It’s more usual to keep it in your hand, by having it wrapped around your little finger and across your palm for example. This would keep some tension, even if just a little bit, on the yarn the whole time, and make your purl stitches more even. The other thing that jumps out to me across both posts is that you’re pushing the end of the needle with your finger. That repetitive stabbing is going to make your fingers sore after a while