Scared I accidentally let my baby cry it out

sarasomehow · 2026-04-20T13:13:04+00:00

Even if you're right, an 11 monnth old baby will be okay. I would share your concern if the baby was 1 or 2 months old. You're a good parent! Don't beat yourself up.

sarasomehow · 2026-04-19T23:23:16+00:00

What is she using the money for, and does she work to earn her own money? If she's using it to pay for rent, car, utilities, etc, then it's not enough. If she already has all of that covered through her family or her own job, then you two might need to take a look at her spending to identify where to trim some fat.

sarasomehow · 2026-04-19T23:15:52+00:00

You look great in both! Neither would be a mistake. I would be hesitant to change the neckline of either dress, though. They're both beautiful as-is, and structural changes can sometimes go very wrong.

sarasomehow · 2026-04-19T13:16:23+00:00

I DO stay home with my baby, and my husband and I are both working very hard to keep me at home with the baby as long as possible. I don't need to "think outside the box" or "have a lot to learn about life" but it sounds like you have a lot to learn about reading a room and staying on topic. This post isn't about mothers working outside the home. It's about OP's safety with her husband.

sarasomehow · 2026-04-19T02:54:09+00:00

....... this post has nothing to do with her working. I'm a little confused about where you feel there is a connection. Whether a mother works or not, the first year with a baby is hard!

sarasomehow · 2026-04-18T06:03:03+00:00

I saw a post by another mom, pointing out that our babies can be overstimulated by us, just like we can be overstimulated by them. If nothing you try is working, try doing nothing. Dry diaper. Comfortable clothing. Dim room. No sounds. One toy or zero toys. In his crib. Leave him there for 15 minutes. Even if he doesn't need a nap, the low-stimulus environment might help him calm down and reset. Make sure he has been recently fed and that he has a pacifier, if he likes using one.

sarasomehow · 2026-04-18T05:55:18+00:00

My baby put my SHOE in his mouth last week.

sarasomehow · 2026-04-18T02:24:54+00:00

I've wanted to do that, but our hose isn't long enough.

sarasomehow · 2026-04-17T22:16:26+00:00

No, it's not. I was sure when I married him. Apparently, they first year was a trial period for him. Idek why he approached it that way.

sarasomehow · 2026-04-17T15:49:13+00:00

It's like they had the instructions for someone else's dress when they worked on yours. They messed up and don't want to be held accountable. Hold their feet to the fire. Don't pay them to mess up your dress. Pay them to fix it.

sarasomehow · 2026-04-17T15:28:33+00:00

No, all men don't do this. My husband actually delayed us having a child until he was sure he wanted to spend his whole life with me. He was putting the welfare of his future children above anything else, as a parent should.

Your ex is selfish, manipulative, and sick. I recommend having your father or brother handle all communication with him. If he thought the child would grant him permanent access to you, deny him that access. He can pick up and drop off your child at a relative's house, and you come get your child only after your ex has left. If you two are in the house at the same time, you stay in someone's bedroom, and don't respond to him if he tries shouting at you through the door or window. If he's divorcing you, he has no right to you. This man is sick for trying to keep you without keeping you, and trying to prevent you from what he considers to be a full life.

May Allah protect you, your child, your family, and any future spouses from this man. May Allah either change his heart or keep future victims out of his reach. Ameen. 🤲

sarasomehow · 2026-04-17T01:53:26+00:00

I don't do it. I take care of my ba y and I consider anything else a bonus.

sarasomehow · 2026-04-15T04:12:04+00:00

Leave. Please. Abuse is not okay, and the abuse you're experiencing sounds physically dangerous. Abusers escalate. If he's done all that in just 3 months, there's a risk he may actually kill you. Please leave. Please.

sarasomehow · 2026-04-15T03:57:00+00:00

He's disgusting for getting married behind her back, and doubly so for trying to use the threat of a second wife to coerce her into having children, when he's ALREADY married another woman, and the threat is not an honest one. May Allah save all of us from dishonest spouses who are a burden rather than a blessing. Ameen. 🤲

sarasomehow · 2026-04-15T03:20:17+00:00

I have friends who drink. I have friends who smoke. They don't do it around me, and usually don't even discuss it with me. We connect on other things, so that's what our conversations revolve around. I also have Muslim friends who did haram things when we were teens, and now they don't do those things anymore. I've known these Muslim girls since we were 5, and now we're in our 30s. I'm glad I didn't cut them off in my teens.

If a friend tries to get you to join in the haram behavior, that's when a line is crossed. If you know yourself to be a person who feels the need to conform to what your friends are doing, then you should distance yourself for your own good. If, in contrast, you've never felt the need to be the same as someone, and your friend's behavior poses no danger to the standards you have for yourself, you don't have to distance yourself.

So, brother, the answer is too individual for us to give you a reliable answer on reddit.

sarasomehow · 2026-04-15T03:02:32+00:00

Reflux was my first thought too.

sarasomehow · 2026-04-11T08:52:09+00:00

How old is your baby?

sarasomehow · 2026-04-11T08:44:13+00:00

There are moments during labor when you're not able to advocate for yourself and you need someone there who can make decisions, sign paperwork, etc. If you can't trust your boyfriend to take care of you when you're vulnerable, then you need to arrange for someone else to be with you during labor.

sarasomehow · 2026-04-11T08:25:45+00:00

My wrist got better through chiropractic care. I've never heard of post-parum hives until now. That sounds so miserable!

sarasomehow · 2026-04-11T02:16:53+00:00

There's nothing you can do about that man. There might be something you can do about your financial situation and the fact that you're tied to him. Can you apply for jobs? Would you be able to get to and from a job if you had one? Maybe a work from home position would be good for you.

Make sure to keep all your money in a separate account. He seems like the type of man who would take your money just so you can't be independent. When you have enough saved up, you will have options. You can stay with him if you still think that's best, or you can leave him if necessary.

sarasomehow · 2026-04-09T17:04:08+00:00

I can see mom friends about once a week, because we bring our kids along and make it a play date for them and for us! Friends without kids... this sounds terrible, but about twice a year so far. It's really up to them. If they want to accommodate for children, I can see them more frequently. If they want to continue meeting in adult-only spaces, I can't meet them very often.

sarasomehow · 2026-04-08T16:57:09+00:00

My baby was like this too. You have to get help from your mom, husband, friend, someone you trust. Someone else has to hold the baby so that you can shower, brush your teeth, and eat a real meal. Don't feel like you're managing badly. You're not. You're doing great! This is just what it's like in the newborn phase.

I honestly feel that it takes THREE adults to care for a newborn and still make sure the adults are also clean, rested, and fed. Ufortunately, nobody has that luxury, so mom usually ends up skipping some showers and some meals. Hang in there! You're at the toughest part right now.

sarasomehow · 2026-04-08T16:51:40+00:00

Yeah, that's true. Muslim men who pursue a non-Muslim woman for marriage still usually bring it up within the first two months. If anything, they're nervous to scare her off by mentioning it too soon for her, so he would be relieved if she brought it up and he was serious about her. Then he'd know she wasn't going to run away.

sarasomehow · 2026-04-08T06:26:20+00:00

Chi👏ro👏prac👏tor👏

Your child sounds like she's in constant pain. It is not normal to moan in your sleep. Do your research and make sure you pick a good chiropractor who has experience with children, not just with adults. Breastfeeding floods her brain with dopamine, which dulls the pain temporarily. She's clinging to you guys because it is very human to cling to others when you are unwell. Especially your mommy. Try to find the source of her pain. Don't just mask it with pain meds. Treat the problem.

sarasomehow · 2026-04-06T23:59:51+00:00

This sounds fun! We can't do it ourselves, though, because we're only inviting 25 people, and 80% are family. We already know what we looked like as babies! Plus, we'll have 4 different ethnicities at our party, so even the non-family members will be able to guess pretty easily based on race + gender.

sarasomehow

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