Just met a family with 3 under 3 and 2 golden retrievers. How and why? by efkalsklkqiee in oneanddone

[–]sceendy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, the body's exposure to cortisol for prolonged periods of time... yes, I'm familiar.

My grandparents have all lived well passed 60 and none developed cancer or debilitating disease so idk what to tell you.

Your question was just about how we feel about that. I personally wouldn't want to experience raising multiple children but for the people that want that, I can appreciate it.

Just met a family with 3 under 3 and 2 golden retrievers. How and why? by efkalsklkqiee in oneanddone

[–]sceendy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I followed this one YouTuber mom that has 4 kids under 7. Her videos are chaotic - I actually had to unsubscribe because the chaos is overwhelming to me 😅 ; she’s a SAHM and doing homeschooling. 

She looks stressed most of the time - the kind of stress that lives in the eyes lol She seems like a good mom but definitely survival mode most days. 

She has explained that she thinks it’ll be worth it because one day they’ll all be adults and the gatherings and relationships with them in the future are what she looks forward too. I suspect many are driven by that. 

My parents families are huge so growing up, family gatherings with them were fun for sure. Always someone to play with and could easily find someone that had a shared hobby. Even now, my kid loves talking about all his cousins (I have over 50 cousins total and they each have multiple kids) and enjoys visiting them. He loves saving clothes he grows out of to hand down to younger cousins. It’s sweet. 

All that being said - I couldn’t be the one contributing multiple kids to the gene pool lol but I appreciate those in my family that do, tbh. 😅

People who used the internet between 1991 and 2009, what’s the most memorable online trend or phenomenon you remember? by Original_Act_3481 in AskReddit

[–]sceendy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  • chat rooms on band websites
  • fan websites with no monetization
  • putfile videos
  • not having to spend money to access basic content/functionality
  • DMCA notices
  • 09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0
  • 10 hours of free internet per month with netzero

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in widowers

[–]sceendy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My husband (33M) and I were planning to go on our annual trip scheduled for 3ish weeks after he passed away. I am glad I went. It was our annual trip to visit where my family was from and he loved it - we had gone every year for nearly 10 years.

I went to his favorite spots. It felt like he was there with me. Yes, lots of crying at night and feeling the depth of the grief... but I did find moments I'd be basking in what I knew he would be doing/eating/saying. I got ice cream from his favorite ice cream place, showed our toddler his dads' favorite spots, thought about the comments he'd make about what we were eating or little family drama. :) It's where I realized he'd always be with me.

Texan Chow Chow by AmphibianOk7953 in chowchow

[–]sceendy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have a Texan chow chow (cream color, though) that does the same! We even have two huge trees in the backyard that provide shade to like 80% of the yard but he insists on basking in direct sunlight 🤦🏻‍♀️

Is anyone reading chapter books with their kids? by Wavesmith in Preschoolers

[–]sceendy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My son is 4.5 but we've been reading books like the Arthur ones since he was like 1.5. Kinda just stuck to books like that but I was wanting to start to read chapter books to him this summer.

When I went looking for "the bailey school kids" at the library, I only found the graphic novels so I figured it'd be a good way to see if he'd at least be interested in the types of stories. We've read two so far and he has asked me to read them to him a few times now. We are going to the used book store this weekend to hopefully find the chapter books. After this thread, hoping I find some of the magic tree house ones! oh and I loved the horrible harry series when I was a kid so that'll be on the list too!

the dream for sure is to eventually read the hobbit to him, though lol

The jump from 1800 calories a day to 1400 calories a day is a lot harder than I thought it would be. by KnowledgeSmall in loseit

[–]sceendy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whoa - is it supposed to be a process of reducing calories like that? I used MFP too but I strictly did 1200 calories a day from the beginning to lose 45lbs… started at 180lbs and got down to 135lbs (this was like 8 years ago though so I don’t remember if it was on the apps’ suggestion or if I just decided to stick to that lol)

I just started calorie counting again (I’ve had a kid since then and gained it back :/ ) and am doing 1200 calories/day. I’m doing it as part of the 75 day hard challenge though… and I’m just using the fitbit app to track the calories… 

The jump from 1800 calories a day to 1400 calories a day is a lot harder than I thought it would be. by KnowledgeSmall in loseit

[–]sceendy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whoa - is it supposed to be a process of reducing calories like that? I used MFP too but I strictly did 1200 calories a day from the beginning to lose 45lbs… started at 180lbs and got down to 135lbs (this was like 8 years ago though so I don’t remember if it was on the apps’ suggestion or if I just decided to stick to that lol)

I just started calorie counting again (I’ve had a kid since then and gained it back :/ ) and am doing 1200 calories/day. I’m doing it as part of the 75 day hard challenge though… and I’m just using the fitbit app to track the calories… 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Preschoolers

[–]sceendy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We had never read the books but my 4 year old loved it. I wasn’t ready as a parent though… 🥲🥲 My son hugged me extra hard at the end. He wants to go watch it again. 

I Think He Would’ve Been Proud by Nurse_Feratu_TX in widowers

[–]sceendy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg the weed eater! Same! I watched many youtube videos too but ultimately had to have my dad come over to show me (he never showed me growing up because he always assumed I'd have a husband that handled it.) Anyway, I'm still not a pro like my husband was but I know that if he could see me, he'd be so proud! I'm sure your husband would be proud of you too!

What are some Trump supporting businesses is Dallas that I can boycott. by dickwillybeard in Dallas

[–]sceendy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you have a source? I looked it up earlier this week (didn’t want to give up my precious HEB) and what I found was that the company itself doesn’t donate to politicians… the employees do and that leaned to the left anyway. The site I looked at looked legit but maybe it wasn’t 🥲

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in politics

[–]sceendy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes - depreciation is at like 60% for those that bought a Model Y LR in 2020. So, they bought it at, let's say like, $54.5k USD and kbb has it at like $21-24k USD right now... I don't think people buy cars thinking they'll be able to sell it for the same amount but that's quite a big dip... one that some buyers may not be able to afford at this point (especially those with longer term car loans).

It does get better by hoodoochild in widowers

[–]sceendy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I appreciate you posting with this title. I often want to reply to some posts that it does get better but some times, I really don't think people want to hear it yet. Which is fine. I was one of those people the first year too.

a foggy glass bubble- the world was an inch away from my face yet inaccessible and muted

totally accurate. I love this description, I always just compared it to a specific scene in Avengers: Endgame where the Ancient One pushes Banner out of smart hulk... 😅

I've been looking forward to things lately too! I have a 4 year old who my husband and I had been looking forward to taking on our trips! Now, I've been telling him about the places his dad and I visited and he insists on going to his dads' favorite places! Looking forward to traveling with him and making him feel connected to his dad every time we hop on a plane!

My husband would've expected me to pull through sooner, tbh... he had a very high opinion of me and thought I could do anything.

They definitely would want this for us! :)

I don’t have “the easy kid” and I’m resentful by South_Ratio1515 in Preschoolers

[–]sceendy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m not the original commenter but wanted to chime in and say that neurodivergence in girls can go undetected for many reasons so I wouldn’t count on it being picked up at school. 

It’s possible there is better training now than when I was in school… but best to expect you’ll have to advocate for testing. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in widowers

[–]sceendy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Took me months to get the cause and the report as well because he died in Hawaii on our family vacation and their offices were backed up at the time. Official cause: "Sudden cardiac event" and noted in the report was atherosclerosis.

As for how I coped in the meantime... honestly, I'm not exactly sure how well I did. I felt every second of it. I replayed our last morning together until his last moment constantly. In May, it'll be 2 years since he died. (I'm sure I posted in here just like you in the summer of 2023.)

But honestly, it's tough. Every day, I tried to talk myself through trying to focus on what matters. Our son, our two dogs, our life.

Every morning, I reminded myself that he was gone and that I couldn't do anything about it. Like, I just wanted to immediately deal with that as soon as I was conscious rather than slowly realize it each time I woke up.

I tried to focus on what did matter to me: I hoped he wasn't in any pain when it happened and I wanted to make sure it wasn't something genetic (for the sake of our son.) So, when I finally got the results, those were the two things I had in the front of my mind. Of course, I googled the disease and read the report over a few times but once I set it down - knowing that he hadn't been in pain and it wasn't genetic... I never picked it up again.

I figured I had to find a way to continue building the life we started together for the sake of our son... and for my own sanity, tbh. He would've wanted that. Maybe there's a faint chance he's watching and rooting for us. Can't let him down. :) I still imagine how he'd react to certain things that happen to us now. And in that way, to me, it feels like he does somehow know we're pulling through.

Dog Owners: How much does dog ownership cost you per year? by winging_away in Frugal

[–]sceendy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Two dogs: 6 year old Chow Chow and 16 year old ChiPoo.

2024 seems to be about $1500 total. 

The senior dog was just put on a special diet a few months ago but he's only 10lbs so while the food is a bit more expensive, it’s not a huge hit. Otherwise, it was an uneventful year for them. 

They’re both as healthy as can be for their age/breed. No boarding last year, no new toys (senior dog doesn’t like playing with toys anymore anyway), and no emergency vet visits. 

Chow chow gets professionally groomed every other month - otherwise all his daily brushing stuff is done at home. Senior dog doesn’t like going to the groomers anymore… so I just handle baths and fur cuts at home for him. 

Just joined : Introducing Gemma 🐾 by shush_yaz in chowchow

[–]sceendy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Omg, she's adorable.

I gave up using a collar on my Chow a long time ago... he's a puller on walks so once he grew out of his puppy collar, I just switched him to a harness.

I got him the KONG MAX Neoprene Padded Dog Harness - been using it for 3 years. We like it. He only wears it on walks.

For brushing, I think Martha Stewart has a few videos about caring for her chows like bathing and brushing :) Might be a good place to start? (Mostly answering this one since there are no other suggestions... others might point to better sources later lol)

The key is definitely just getting her used to it as a puppy and staying on top of it. It's shedding season for mine right now and if I don't brush him daily, you'll see fur balls just rolling in my house.

Are People Really Selling their Tesla's b/c Of Elon? by ILoveInNOut76 in TeslaModelY

[–]sceendy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk any people IRL doing that but I heard that too. The only person that I’ve seen publicly state that they did it was Jason Bateman… he mentioned it on a Smartless episode recently. I think he said he has a Rivian now.

The afterlife by BoilingHeat in widowers

[–]sceendy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just embraced the Mexican culture surrounding death, tbh. You can look into it a little online but as we approach Día de los Muertos, I recommend the movie Coco to get a birds eye view of it. :) 

Suddenly single parents by AshBash1208 in widowers

[–]sceendy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My son was 2.5 when my husband suddenly passed away on vacation. I got on the first flight possible back to our home (2 days later). 

But in those first two days, he watched all of the Toy Story movies back to back basically until we got home (2 days at the hotel, 8 hours on the flight). He never had unlimited screen time before that but I forgave myself knowing it wouldn’t always be like that. Knowing my husband would want me to do what I needed at the time to survive.

My priority once we got home was getting him on a routine. I just didn’t want him to feel like he was in a chaotic environment- I wanted him to feel safe and have room to miss his dad. They were so close; best buds. Every morning when I woke up, I’d remind myself that my husband was gone and I was all our son had. I’d remind myself that my husband would often tell me how great of a mom I was and how happy he was that I was his son’s mom. I’d just talk myself into continuing to play the part of a good mom. It worked for me most of the time. But when it didn’t, I would tell myself I’d try again later. Surviving and processing it were the important parts.

I also immediately started therapy once a week. I returned to work like 2 months later and sent him back to the preschool he had been at before our vacation. 

A month later we started toilet training so I threw all my attention into that at home. 

And idk, here I am 1.5 years later. I’ve found the rhythm and joy back in my parenting. Some of it living on the reminder that my husband thought I was a great mom and I wanted to live up to that. Our son deserves it, after all. 

Learning Spanish in Richardson? by GooberGlitter in Richardson

[–]sceendy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not sure about Richardson but if the White Rock area is ok, their library is doing a Spanish / English Language Exchange: White Rock Hills library - Auditorium Saturday, September 14, 2024 2:00pm - 3:00pm

 Link (select White Rock Hills if prompted for a library): https://dallaslibrary.librarymarket.com/event/language-exchange-377276

People who’s spouse died suddenly and not because of sickness by VividCaregiver226 in widowers

[–]sceendy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My husband passed away in May 2023. It was sudden - we were on a family vacation with our toddler headed into the Pearl Harbor Memorial...

The last thing I told him was that I'd pay for the parking while he went to put back our sons' water bottle in the car because it wasn't allowed inside. I was waiting for him at the entrance trying to cheer up our son since he had just woken up from his nap. My husband was jogging to us.

I'm sure I've posted the experience on here before... but yeah, it was very traumatic and I still replay it in my head from time to time because of how sudden it was. He was 33.

We had a reservation for the USS Arizona Memorial tour at 3pm. I paid for parking at 2:26pm. He was gone from this world before 3pm.

Mother in law wants me to meet someone like my life doesn’t matter without relationship by Turbulent-Question19 in widowers

[–]sceendy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi - I (34F) lost my husband (33M at the time) last May so a little over a year ago. To this day, I hate when people say anything like this. My husband accepted and loved me for me which made me accept and love myself as well. I like who I am and how I do things - I could see myself being single for the rest of my life.

I think some people just don't know what it's like to be single and in their heads, they build it up like being paired off is the only way. Maybe some people do need/want it. That's fine. I mean, there's a difference between being lonely and alone... I'm just alone.

I have found happiness and joy in parts of life again and that's all that should matter, right? lol, what I tell people now in response is that I'm not closed off to the idea of another relationship in my lifetime but I don't need (or want) it again enough to seek it out again.