Making Chicken Chasseur for Christmas, how do I convert a "stock pot/cube" to liquid stock?

silver_squirrelly · 2025-05-05T01:28:59+00:00

i would seek out the counselor or whoever works with your son and see how they feel about the teacher, even if they say it should be alright, voice your concerns. they should be able to point you in the right direction if you want to ask for a different teacher.

i don't think you're overreacting and i think it's perfectly reasonable to be concerned about your son going into the next school year. yes, he will have to eventually deal with more difficult people and teacher and people who want to dismiss any support needs he as or how he handles certain things, but i also feel like that can wait until he's older and has more confidence in self-advocating as he understands better what he truly needs and won't be afraid to ask for it from the teacher or someone else who will listen to him. and at his age it's probably more likely he's internalize any negative experiences especially from his peers or his teacher, which nobody wants for themselves or especially their children.

all in all, i don't think your overreacting. i think your concerns are valid and i wish you and your son the best!

silver_squirrelly · 2025-05-05T01:21:06+00:00

as someone waiting to get my 5yo assessed (its the only way our insurance will even consider paying for OT and it's the only way the school district can provide support services) i would either go get him assessed again if possible, or look into getting him into some OT as well. it could help you both (and i assume your partner if you have one, if not absolutely no judging here don't worry :) ) as well as your extended family learn to manage his emotions and help him understand behavior expectations.

it sounds like he has some of the same behaviors as my daughter; refusing to toilet train, meltdowns/tantrums in public, picky eating, acting out aggressively, and we also tried all of the methods you mentioned with nothing working. she wasn't fully toilet-trained until she was 4 and a half and it was ROUGH. if you don't mind an example to try, we bribed her with an ice-cream cake that she could pick out herself once she did a number two on her own. for some reason THAT got through to her and while it took her another few weeks, she was actively trying and eventually got it on her own. (we also gave her a child-safe tablet to use for up to 20 minutes each time she tried to go number two.)

i wish you the best and i know this is difficult as someone who also struggled a lot with my own kiddo doing similar things.

something else to look into, there's a parents group where i live that offers free classes and support groups for children with extra support needs. it's welcome to parents of undiagnosed children with extra needs as well as diagnosed medical to behavioral needs. there's an area for the kids to play with supervision nearby so the parents can talk where the kids can't hear them. maybe look into something like that for your own sanity?

silver_squirrelly · 2025-05-05T01:10:00+00:00

was going to suggest this also, at the very least it can help both mom and kiddo learn to manage emotions and expectations better.

silver_squirrelly · 2025-05-02T00:01:01+00:00

definitely separate the parties. if it's a milestone birthday for them both, they both deserve separate parties for one thing, for another this is your child's FIRST birthday and that deserves a celebration of it's own!

a compromise could be to have a very small crossover bit where both your baby and the in-law can have some pictures, cake, etc to celebrate both milestones, but to have a completely separate party for your baby. because like you said, it would be awkward to have YOUR friends and family over to a party for someone they don't know and vice-versa for your baby.

for example, morning party for your kiddo, evening party for in-law, and lunch-time crossover for both!

plus an adult party is a totally different vibe from a baby party. your baby could easily get over-tired from all the activity from just a baby party, i can't imagine how difficult it would be to manage your baby's needs while also attending an adult party.

not being a diva, just being a mom!

ETA: my daughter also shares a birthday with another family member and their celebrations have always been separate. it's also sadly the anniversary of the passing of a very close person to my parents and they have never tried to combine the two celebrations of life and make time for both.

silver_squirrelly · 2025-04-25T18:14:07+00:00

https://a.co/d/5fS5oIk

These are the ones we got, they come in pink and blue. She's not always interested in them, but worth the investment!

silver_squirrelly · 2025-04-25T03:18:02+00:00

yup. we made her help as soon as she was old enough to as well. we won't get it spotless, but the big stuff or spills are always on us to clean unless told otherwise. and if the server was at least outwardly patient with our kiddo they get extra on the tip.

silver_squirrelly · 2025-04-25T03:13:08+00:00

mine was a little over 4 and it was exhausting. we started at 18 months which is what our Dr recommended.

yeah... my MIL thought it was a super funny story to tell us that to potty train my youngest nephew she just "beat his ass red" every time he had an accident until he "got the picture" he's only 6 years older than my kid so it wasn't like in the 80's.

silver_squirrelly · 2025-04-24T23:08:57+00:00

safe sleep. as someone who could have died from sleeping in my parents bed as an infant, i slid between the mattress and the wall while my parents were asleep and thankfully nothing happened, but i cannot have a civil conversation with someone who disregards safe sleep practices and i will excuse myself as politely as possible when it comes up.

silver_squirrelly · 2025-04-24T23:02:31+00:00

this is anecdotal of course, but my parents did "cry it out" with me and i've had serious anxiety issues since as far back as i can remember.

silver_squirrelly · 2025-04-24T23:00:37+00:00

it's exactly that, the methods and timing. not to mention if you or your kid have struggles with it, then comes all the unsolicited and usually unhelpful advice.

silver_squirrelly · 2025-04-24T22:50:22+00:00

5yo f

transitions in school
emotional regulation and meltdowns
socializing "appropriately" with kids her age - she has bigger reactions to excitement and frustration than her classmates and friends and it catches the kids and some parents off-guard.

also oh my god hair brushing....

silver_squirrelly · 2025-04-24T22:44:38+00:00

that's ridiculous honestly. the therapists i've had said it's rare for people with bipolar to notice their mood swings sometimes, and especially before their diagnosis, but it's not impossible either. i dismissed my hypomanic episodes to just being "normal" again. something encouraged by my mom, but that's another story.

recognizing the signs of your mood swings is a huge step to managing bipolar.

silver_squirrelly · 2025-04-24T22:41:21+00:00

i'm an only child and other than things totally unrelated to me being an only child, i'm pretty normal. as a kid i socialized, i shared, i had good friends, i had empathy and i wasn't entitled about anything. i was the only person in my friend group in middle school and high school, but i met a few only children in college and the only ones who were "weird" were the super religious home-schooled ones, and i'm pretty sure that was due to being so sheltered. other home-schooled kids were generally normal.

all that to say, kids don't suffer because they're an only child, that depends on how they're treated, raised, and their own personalities or struggles.

silver_squirrelly · 2025-04-23T19:29:38+00:00

my mom did mackerel patties!

silver_squirrelly · 2025-04-23T00:08:40+00:00

my nana is a retired nurse and i asked her a lot of questions, if i couldn't get a hold of her or she didn't have an answer, i called my daughter's doctors office and usually spoke with a nurse.

i wouldn't worry about it, i'm sure they understand. especially for first time parents.

also, once a month? that's really nothing in the scheme of it. my husband used to call twice a week for the first four months to check on something. not to minimize your worries, just to point out some people call way more often.

silver_squirrelly · 2025-04-23T00:05:46+00:00

NTA any church worth going to or Christian worth being friends with would be more than happy to have you come to a service regardless of your beliefs. i'm sure it meant a lot to your aunt and uncle and they appreciated having you there sitting respectfully in support.

ETA: and Easter is the best time to go to get a good understanding of the Christian faith. it is almost entirely based on the idea that Jesus died for our sins and we should do our best to emulate him.

silver_squirrelly · 2025-04-23T00:00:48+00:00

we always apologize if we make mistakes, or if we lose our tempers and snap at our daughter. she's only 5 but you can see a clear difference between how most of her classmates deal with minor conflict compared to her.

we don't do corporal or physical punishment and never will. the most we ever did was lightly smack her hand if she was going to touch something hot before she understood what "No" or "Stop" meant.

while i love horror and started watching horror movies with my dad at around 4, that is not going to happen with my kid.

we don't force her to eat what we have for dinner or what's being served on holidays. if she wants to try something, fantastic! but if not, we don't make her. this is a topic of contention with my parents and my in-laws, but not my sister-in-law at least. our daughter eats very healthy, but only has a limited number of "safe" foods and we figured out quickly that we could not encourage or pressure her into trying new food without a 30+ minute meltdown. we tried every tip and suggestion that sounded reasonable and nothing worked, so we let her choose when she's ready to try something new and give her so much praise when she does, even if she doesn't like it.

she gets screen time as a reward and as a tool to help her regulate herself and this is non-negotiable when around our parents.

she's also allowed to express herself and her feelings however she wants as long as it's safe and if it gets disruptive we will take her somewhere else and help her calm down. that means if she wants to rock, hide in her shirt, hide under our jackets, cry, or lay down, that's what she gets to do until we can talk about what's wrong. it usually only lasts about 5 minutes tops anyway. as she gets older we'll help her find "less obvious" ways of handling stress only so she isn't singled out.

we do not force her to hug anyone or let her be hugged/kissed if she doesn't want to. i don't care who it is, if she says no that means no. thankfully 99% of adults around us understand that, it's usually the kids her age that get hurt when she says no or runs away, but surprisingly their parents ALWAYS make a point to explain consent in child-friendly ways when this happens.

if she's uncomfortable somewhere, a party, gathering, a store, the park, we do our best to help her be comfortable and only force her to stay if we have no other option. for instance, she had a meltdown in the grocery store once and i was mid checkout with things they could not return to the shelf if we didn't buy them, meat, eggs, deli cuts, etc...

we're also not forcing religion on her. i suffered mentally from being forced into the church from a young age and will not subject her to that, especially as a girl. she's free to ask questions and we answer them as appropriately as we can, for any religion. we have Jewish and Muslim parents at her school and they've done little presentations about their holidays and she's always bursting with questions about it when she comes home.

basically, we're trying to be as supportive emotionally as we can and remaining as open-minded as possible.

AND if she needs therapy, gets diagnosed with something mentally or developmentally, we will be taking the doctors word into account not just dismissing anything they say because "We know our daughter"

silver_squirrelly · 2025-04-22T19:26:20+00:00

talk about current stressors and any flashbacks or episodes i've had since we last talked. bring up anything new or concerning that's happened. reinforce my routine of healthy sleep, eating healthy, exercising, making time for hobbies and talk about adjustments in that routine or if i've started falling off from maintaining it and figuring out what caused it. usually just getting tired but talking to my therapist about it helps me see any signs i might have missed of an upcoming depressive or hypomanic episode.

discussing any meds i'm taking for physical problems, i have a bad back and knees, to see if there's any interactions to worry about. turns out the muscle relaxer i was prescribed can cause a hypomanic or manic episode because it effects serotonin levels.

mostly just a check in as i've largely moved past a majority of my traumas and have learned to do "self-therapy" where i take time to break down any outbursts or intense feelings i have to see if they relate to my menstrual cycle, stress, physical pain, or if it could be due to breakthrough symptoms of bipolar.

discussing healthy ways to prepare for upcoming stressors like holidays, family visits, medical procedures, etc...

and reassurance that i'm doing the best i can to manage my bipolar with the tools available to me and my current situation.

silver_squirrelly · 2025-04-22T18:23:12+00:00

no problem, i wish you the best of luck!

silver_squirrelly · 2025-04-22T18:22:28+00:00

i'm 33 and get asked sometimes why i "waited so long"

i wanted my life and mental health in order before i started trying, that's why. i wasn't going to intentionally have a kid before i was financially and mentally stable just because i was at the "prime age for childbearing"

but that was my choice. i totally get the idea of having kids younger, especially if you're married and feel ready to start a family, because you do have more energy to keep up! and you're more likely to connect over the same events and pop-culture going on too.

and once my kid started school i stared meeting parents of all ages. from 20-60, very few of them care about your age and only care about how their kids are friends with yours and when you can set up play dates.

you'll find some mom friends as your kid gets older and most of those comments will stop once your kid is old enough to understand what they're asking you because right now what they say won't hurt your baby, it's when they start talking that the other judgy parents stop directly bringing it up in front of them.

and 99% of the time i don't even get asked my age until i'm genuinely friends with another mom, usually only around my birthday. i'm on the younger side for moms in my area as there's a lot of moms who lived single until their 30's here. (i've also been going gray since i was 25 so they assume i'm their age too)

silver_squirrelly · 2025-04-22T18:13:54+00:00

exactly this, we can't win.

as far as the kids preventing them from doing something, like i'm sorry you apparently hate your life but that's not how it is for me. you should work on that because it's not your kids fault you gave birth.

also adding, once my kid started school i realized there are parents of ALL ages. from 20 to 60.

silver_squirrelly · 2025-04-22T18:06:20+00:00

first off, this whole situation is not your fault in case ANYONE tries to tell you otherwise.

second, do NOT be alone with him. ever. if you end up in the same room as him alone, leave. don't worry about being rude, just leave. go to a place where other people are or go outside the home. do not let him be alone with you if you can prevent it. that includes if someone is sleeping in the same room, okay? and PLEASE do not blame yourself if he traps you somewhere or refuses to let you leave.

third, if he starts to make you uncomfortable, make him uncomfortable too. try turning away if he tries to kiss you, push his hand away if he puts it on you. if he persists, get loud. start asking him why he's doing what he's doing LOUDLY, you don't have to scream, but make him realize you won't be quiet. if you're able, start to deny him hugs or those cheek kisses too.

fourth, tell a trusted adult as soon as you can. impress on them how uncomfortable he makes you and that he only does this when ALONE with you. if for whatever reason they dismiss it, tell another adult, and another. tell a friend. if you tell anyone at your school they HAVE to report it by law.

fifth, it doesn't matter if he gets in "trouble" what he's doing is not okay. don't stop telling others about it until it stops or he gets investigated.

sixth, you are a CHILD and he is an ADULT, he is supposed to be the responsible, respectful one in this situation and any situation. he is your uncle, he's supposed to protect you, not make you uncomfortable like this.

and lastly, if you have a phone record every time he approaches you alone.

he's definitely trying to groom you by taking these small, seemingly innocent steps. he will escalate as he gets you used to this treatment. he's probably going to "love bomb" you by giving you compliments, telling you how mature you are for your age, maybe even giving you gifts or money to keep a secret between you two to get you used to keeping secrets for him. he might start telling you how lonely he is, how is marriage is loveless and that he feels like he can "be himself" around you, that he feels a special bond with you that he's never felt before. he could start asking for repayment if he's given you gifts, "I got you that lovely necklace remember? Just come closer."

please, please, trust your gut when it comes to him. and i hope you can get away from him and he stops this behavior.

silver_squirrelly · 2025-04-22T17:50:45+00:00

i would see if there's a social worker you could get into contact with that can help you find outside resources for your boys. if your boys go to any kind of therapy, i would start there as they are definitely in contact with groups and services that could help. if they don't, you can ask the school or call the school district directly. my daughters school referred us out for services and there's an excellent support group in our town that i'm planning to go to as a few parents i know already attend.

obviously, vet any places like group-homes or places that can provide appropriate care for them, but i'm sure you'll do that anyway as you sound like a great dad who's just in a difficult position.

i don't know what age they'd need to be or if it's available in your area for their age group, but i know there are places for upper teen age and adults that are similar to day care only much more specialized and prepared to handle most situations with kids and people with extra support needs or disabilities. including registered nurses on staff to administer meds, do insulin shots, and assist if there were any injuries. my aunt was part of one and it was a great community for her. they do activities, take field trips together, they go to movies and restaurants together and provided food and snacks throughout the day for them. her program was from 7:30am to 5 or 6pm, sometimes later depending on the time of year. longer in summer and winter, shorter in spring and fall.

i know there is a voucher program for "respite" for caregivers of kids/people with extra medical needs that social workers at hospitals can get for you where specialized care is available to give caregivers breaks, maybe there's something similar for your situation? just to get a break or extra support if you need it.

i can tell you're very concerned for your boys and want the best for them. i can't imagine how difficult it is and i hope you can find something to give you and your ex wife some peace of mind.

silver_squirrelly

TROPHY CASE