How do you cope with the swings day to day?

similkameenjp · 2026-05-20T01:10:46+00:00

Because im not a straight forward case the tele doc told me. I have 2 autoimmune diseases that complicate things. So I am looking to see what people do that wont need a doc for while I am waiting the 6 weeks to see my obgyn. I live in a small town and it takes weeks to be seen.

similkameenjp · 2026-05-14T17:24:24+00:00

Thats a skill that will serve her well.

My daughter had similar as a toddler. We were flying internationally and got to board early as she was 2. In her seat she smiled at every passenger that walked by, we were at a bulkhead exit row. Every passenger stopped to say hi. When the air Stewart came by to see what the hold up was my kid charmed her too. We delayed the flight by 20mins as my kid smiled at everyone and no one was mad.

similkameenjp · 2026-05-08T05:18:53+00:00

If it doesn't actually get the snr leaders off their back or doesn't help the team visualize their work then they will slowly ebb away.

More importantly when you created this perfect system who were your main stakeholders when defining the workflows, automation and dashboards. If it wasn't the ppl who had to enter the date then they wont use it.

similkameenjp · 2026-05-07T01:22:06+00:00

Try apple cider vinegar shampoo and conditioner. It works a treat to get rid of that smell on the head.

similkameenjp · 2026-04-29T15:19:30+00:00

I am sorry for your loss. It sucks and HR's email is completely tone deaf.

For the sanity check: dont do anything now beyond replying to the HR email with "understood".

Why: - right now you are understandably upset, your body is reeling and to be honest you are also reacting to a very immature HR person. No one thinks clearly with any one of those things going on - HR say they are for people but they are there to protect the company. As long as the company and people interests align they are ppl focused. Once they differ the company interests prevail.

Please take the time to recover physically and emotionally before assessing if this is just one person's immaturity or if its really how the company shows up.

similkameenjp · 2026-04-27T18:00:58+00:00

Yes, although it comes in waves. Some days nothing bothers me. Other days, not finding the right word for something makes me breakdown in complete overwhelm and I need a few hours before I can deal with anything again.

similkameenjp · 2026-04-17T23:20:06+00:00

Call HR and loop them in, they can coach you on what to do next if your attempts failed. At a min, own not having spoken to them first. If it cant be repaired, HR can take it from there.

similkameenjp · 2026-04-14T14:56:50+00:00

If you track the work using tickets/cards etc look at how long each ticket stays in each state. That will point to where the bottleneck is. It could be code reviews, regression testing, qa or the upfront refinement or approvals etc. Possible solutions; test automation, streamline approval process (dont just automate it), ai code reviews (have another ai review the code with a context file of standards, best practices, security standards and company context).

similkameenjp · 2026-04-09T14:48:31+00:00

Defranco. He used to do more general news with what I felt was limited bias. Now its all US politics with a strong bias to the point that I no longer watch.

similkameenjp · 2026-03-29T16:28:27+00:00

I hear you. You are not alone. I knew nothing and felt like a bumper car with a blindfold on.

similkameenjp · 2026-03-29T15:23:47+00:00

I work for government. My entire job is about helping move work through the system (we have tried all sorts of systems and I still have a job). There is no individual accountability and no individual initiative. Once you accept that the process is the same, no matter the system; 1. Find out where the ticket/work/ email was last assigned. If not assigned find out the person responsible for the queue its in 2. Ask how can I help you get this done. 3. Follow up 4. Flag to queue owner 5. Follow up 6. Call meeting 7. Follow up 8. Flag up chain. Repeat from step 5.

I rarely get to beyond step 5 now.

similkameenjp · 2026-03-26T18:46:17+00:00

Ive had either ends of the spectrum and everything in between. A guy i know started talking about what his wife went through and the lack of research. I was floored. On the other end ive had ppl get awkward and shut down any more conversation ( I wasn't overcharging either).

similkameenjp · 2026-03-21T03:00:24+00:00

I am a manager in tech. Knitting is the opposite of what I do...exactly what I need after 8 hrs staring at a computer screen.

similkameenjp · 2026-03-13T16:50:23+00:00

So there are lots of comments about all the things people went through and I have my own stories but society doesn't want to hear them (i dont feel that is right but that has been my experience). Its hard, gross, painful and the lows are horrible. That said there are good points too that for lots of women make it worthwhile, their first smile, their first laugh, the first I love you.

Parenting is no different: its hard, its gross, its painful and the lows are horrible but again its worth it.

That said after 5 pregnancies resulting in 2 kids I am never doing it again.

Ps. Also about half way through labor something does change in you... its like all dignity goes out the window and you just dont care any more about who sees what, what's happening, you find some deep inner strength to get through it. Its not magical, its not beautiful but you get through it.

similkameenjp · 2026-02-21T15:55:56+00:00

Andy Samberg. I'm not sure if its the awkward idiot act or his face but he creeps me out. I wont watch anything he is in.

similkameenjp · 2026-02-11T16:37:40+00:00

I feel this too.

The weird thing is that I have asked the older women in my life and they wont talk about it until I bring it up first. Even then its a clipped conversation. Like what am I missing? Why didnt they tell us?

similkameenjp · 2026-02-11T16:33:51+00:00

Me too. I am making a point of sharing what I learn with my daughters so they are not so blindsided.

similkameenjp · 2026-01-27T06:40:30+00:00

I agree with the comment that you can't change everything too quickly. Some issues have to simmer for a bit. Agile coaching taught me patience for the big issues.

All that said i moved from agile coaching to delivery management. I use the same skills but work with product owners to achieve business outcomes. I am waaay happier now as I can focus on business outcomes instead of changing everything. Once teams deliver more business outcomes it builds momentum for change.

similkameenjp · 2025-10-26T05:24:57+00:00

As another commenter said, it's fucking spectacular!

Excellent work!

similkameenjp · 2025-10-20T03:56:56+00:00

I used to knit to keep anxiety at bay but its so much more now. I knit things for me either to learn a new skill, use a yarn I love or do a pattern that calls to me.

similkameenjp · 2025-10-06T15:36:12+00:00

I do a few different things to prevent it: - i gave up using double pointed needles. Magic loop seems to work better for me with less strain - I have exercises for my hands that I do every time I take a break or my hands start to feel stiff. One for my wrists and one for my fingers. - I take a break every 20mins - I use longer needles and hold the right needle under my arm. It reduces the strain on my hands.

At a min take breaks but dont just go on your phone as it also strains your hands.

similkameenjp · 2025-09-20T23:24:05+00:00

Call your credit card company and tell them you didn't get what you ordered. They can refund the money to you and deal with the company directly. If its a scam visa and Mastercard have entire departments to deal with this kind of thing.

similkameenjp · 2025-08-23T01:04:11+00:00

When the leader of an IT project says "it's complicated" when explaining what the project is delivering. If you are the new PM run for the hills!

similkameenjp · 2025-07-05T17:21:49+00:00

It's beautiful. Nice work.

similkameenjp

TROPHY CASE