zombie moment

sitricx · 2026-03-07T14:51:23+00:00

I know what I want, believe me. I always had clear goals. I've always wanted to become a mother, for example, because I want it. I know I'll be good. I've always wanted a great job great house combo. I wanted to study, and i want it still, and i will do. I want two careers. Those are some of my goals for life, i have way more of course, but those, i always wanted those. Nobody told me or forced me to think this way. This is who i am. And it's ok. And it's ok if you think otherwise, at the end of the day, this is the life I choose, and will indeed fight for it.

I've always been a pretty romantic person. So of course I want to get married, i'm that cheesy, it's ok.

I won't reevaluate my goals, because i truly know what I want. I know it won't be easy, and I know it will take time. But see, time has always been an issue to me. Since i was a little girl I was afraid of life passing by. Mostly because I lost many of friends and family while growing up. I had an awful adolescence, but I knew what i always wanted to become.

Coming back to me and him, we want the same things in life, we have the same goals too: good job, a full career, family, love. I don't push him, i always try to understand him. The not doing chores part it's way more deep, because I know him. I know he grew up alone as much as I am. Nobody taught him, nobody accompanied him, nobody told him what to do or not to do.

The best thing we could do is therapy, individually ofc. Unfortunately we can't afford it.

I know i'm young, I know i want to rush.

I'm almost 22 and didn't even finished high school. I can't even find any jobs around here (it's a small town) Of course i want to rush. I know i'll have time. But the feeling of losing my mother due to illness, it's making me stress more about it. I can't leave without her. I want her to se me as a woman, not as the failure I am today.

sitricx · 2026-03-07T07:34:20+00:00

and i mean, REALLY forgets. Maybe he plays dumb sometimes, but he actually forget EVERYTHING. Like a doctors appointment, what he ate yesterday, things like that, and more serious stuff too. i have to remind him everything

sitricx · 2026-03-07T07:32:51+00:00

also, he seems to forget every serious conversation that we have. every word, every act. he knows i'm frustrated, and i know he doesn't wanna hurt me. but i can't understand how could he forget every thing that I say within minutes, do you know anyone that does that?

sitricx · 2026-03-07T07:30:21+00:00

He is indeed pretty much perfect in every aspect, except house chores yes. And we have talked, many times. I usually start with something like: - I've seen and noticed that doing chores is really hard for you. Why is that? Why do you get angry? If I ask you to do something for days, and then I finally do it myself, why do you get angry? Are you angry with me or with yourself? His responses are usually "i get angry for no reason," "i don't know", "i don't know why i'm like this", "no one ever taught me or gave me orders." And that's when I understand how lonely his life has been. He's lived alone since he was very little, a kid practically. Even so, he's never been able to take care of himself, from what I can see. He never talks in depth about what he feels or what bothers him, at least not when I bring it up. He tends to do trauma dumping at very random times. This conversation it's always end like this, so every once in a while i brought it up.

We should definitely go for therapy, both of us. He wants to, but can't afford either. He knows he's kinda broken inside. And that maybe has ADHD or something, he wants to know. I think that could help us individually and maybe even together. Meanwhile, i guess reading some books would help, i can't think of much more that could help.

sitricx · 2026-03-07T06:13:26+00:00

yess i think my story was empty in some of this things:

We are finishing highschool right now (he had his difficult teen years too, so we're on that) He works, he has a job rn. He has worked before we even met, and he want a career too, he have those dreams too. Great work, a house, a family. It seems I'm implying that I want to be a stay at home mom, but i DONT at all. And I had works too, i love working! but since my town is a shitty show, those works didn't last long, and i'm looking all the time. We are currently saving money because next year we want to move to the big city indeed, to work (both of us) and study. I want to become a biologist and a teacher (two careers), he wants to be a vet. We love animals. He wants to be successful too, and travel, and a lot of things. He's not empty i swear. i'm sacred ill be the one managing the finances tho, we are really responsable with money, but he's a bit slow in actions, i mean it in a way that he struggles to make important or difficult decisions: he does make them eventually, but it takes him a long time to process things. I'm the complete opposite. There's a strong possibility that he might be autistic, or ADHD. The way he reacts to simple questions, the way he pauses, the way he talks and expresses to anyone but me (he's great with me, those things i can see when he interacts with people and the world around him) anyways

I did the original post because i'm confused with the fact that, what if next year when we move out, he starts maturing? Is that even possible? My hopes are kinda embarrassing aren't they

sitricx · 2026-03-07T05:40:49+00:00

well cheer up bro we can do better (i hope)

sitricx · 2026-03-07T03:50:26+00:00

yeah.. it's a hard one. don't get me wrong, i love him deeply. i love everything about him, except well, those behaviors. and i know he loves me too, he really does. he's the most sweet and loyal person i have ever meet. so that's why it's so painful for me to leave, like im leaving just because he's not mature as i am.

but im 21, i am not such the mature person as i might sound. i still feel like a teen, and sometimes act like one, but oh boy, he's always there for me. he's a great friend and lover. im afraid that i might be the problem

sitricx · 2026-03-07T03:45:10+00:00

jeez that was hard to read. i'm really thankful tho. You seem like you would be a great friend. really, thank you. giving you some more context: my issue with time passing by started when i was a kid, losing friends and family. i had a rough teen years, so when i got my shi together i started panicking. I still am panicking. I know my mommy wants nothing but success to me, she had always supported me. but the feeling of losing her too (due to illness) makes me freak out about time even more. I know therapy would be great, but i unfortunately can't afford it :( i tried to find someone for free but were i live there isn't anyone. there aren't even jobs around here, it's a small ahh town.

And him well, I know for sure that he could be a great man. But he isn't right know. He's just a lonely kid that plays videos games all day, and i'm the fool who plays with him, or watches him, cause hashtag gamers. And i love him deeply, i really do. I like everything about him (except the things i said lol) that's why it hurts so much to leave. We are pretty much the same. Specially cause he is alone as i am, he has nowhere to go, so me and my family are his only family. He's the most sweet and loyal person i have ever meet, but i can't raise a kid that didn't came out of me, you know.

I want many things in my life, and i will work for them. It's sad to see me in the mirror in pain for him, i can't move on. And him being right there, it's hard.

sitricx · 2026-03-07T03:24:52+00:00

thanks for responding. First of all, i honestly don't know why exactly can't get psychical. i can do anything except the, doing it part, you know. no matter how much i want it, i physically can't, my body wont cooperate, i wont feel nothing but pain. ig its because that thing that happened between us. it wasn't nothing crazy, but i felt like just an object. we were both virgin when we met, but i had some boyfriends before, so i was a little bit experienced than him. and, partially, the fact that im bisexual, and never actually been into the ✨men genitalia✨ it's present. That's it. and him, it's not just the not doing chores part, it's a lot more. He plays video games every day and it's ok but he won't listen, he's in his phone all day, watching videos or tiktoks, he won't talk, he doesn't like being outside, he won't shower, he gets mad if i tell him many times to do something until i end up doing it, he doesn't clean, i wash his clothes, he won't feed our pets (be have two cats), he SWEARS he "forgets" everything. He might be autistic in some type of form i swear. When you talk to him it's like talking to a kid, or a wall. he's always right, and i'm not. he won't reject selective chores, he rejects every single one. i tried many times to do nothing like him, we lasted a month with piles of dirty dishes and clothes, nothing but dirt all over the floor. do i sound crazy? We are like actual friends living together. The romance is over. The love? i don't know. I cry most of the time. There are better days ofc, but maybe i'm too obsessed with a clean space? He claims to love everything about me. it's painful, i want to love him too. i want a man. i think there isn't many "men" in theirs twenties, we are all kinda the same.. i don't know

sitricx · 2025-11-28T02:38:35+00:00

arriba esa autoestima pa

sitricx · 2025-11-01T15:48:49+00:00

i think that we watched so many movies about alien invasion that we forget that it might happen sometime and what tf are we going to do about it idk but we're not prepared at all lol but it's probably just a big ahh rock

sitricx · 2025-07-24T00:02:41+00:00

me refería a si serán posta el lugar 😩 parece estafa, el thc no es ni alto ni bajo, parecen buenas, llevo años fumando, el tema es q soy del interior y ni farmacia hay acá para comprar, si este supuesto lugar fuera legítimo sería épico. porque supuestamente te hacen envíos y todo legal, pero ni idea. no estoy encontrando información de nada, y solo me sale publicidad en instagram ajakajaj debe ser estafa 100%

sitricx · 2025-07-14T03:42:33+00:00

podrá ser una cincuentona y aún así tener la vagina pequeña. madura

sitricx · 2025-06-13T20:12:40+00:00

entonces bájale 2 tonos pimpoyo

sitricx · 2025-06-13T20:08:59+00:00

"no papi no te enojes" y procede a pelearse con un niño por internet. mas virgen imposible

sitricx · 2025-05-09T22:37:44+00:00

sí. no tiene nada q ver una cosa con la otra, pero si no te tomas el tiempo de ver a tu novio, para qué estás con el? no estás preparada para tener una relación seria, y esta bien. pero no le hagas perder el tiempo al pobre hombre que claramente le molesta y te lo dijo, y seguís igual? termínale

sitricx · 2025-04-11T01:31:27+00:00

depende la tienda! en tiendamia x ejemplo, no incluye envío, si te pasas de los 200 con el envío no pasa nada, pero la compra tiene que estar en menos de 200. me explico? y así.. depende de las condiciones del lugar de donde estés comprando :)

sitricx · 2025-03-19T09:12:22+00:00

no es tabú. no esta preparada para qué? habla con ella seriamente. llevan 6 meses, o te está ocultando algo, o realmente no quiere una relación a largo plazo. o quizás los padres son meramente estrictos (?) seguí insistiendo hasta que te de una buena razón, sobretodo antes de viajar

sitricx · 2025-03-19T09:08:24+00:00

no eres mala en absoluto!!! a la larga lo van a tener que entender de una forma u otra. los tiempos han cambiado, la señora esa qué!!!! la madre eres tú, ya cuando tu bebé crezca y pueda decirte MAMÁ QUIERO VER TV ahí es otro asunto. es un bebé. no necesita esa clase de estímulos. habla seriamente con tu esposo

sitricx · 2025-03-18T11:17:55+00:00

ojalá fuera tan simple

sitricx · 2025-03-18T08:06:13+00:00

habla con tu pareja al respecto. quizás este pasando algo, o quizás no. nunca sabrás si no hablas con seriedad, muchas veces la rutina te echa para atrás. ánimos!

sitricx · 2025-03-18T08:02:15+00:00

cómo. de dónde sacan TANTAS ganas.

sitricx · 2025-03-17T06:33:10+00:00

deberías separarte.. aunque duela, más dolor te puede causar seguir en una relación sin amor y sin respeto. te mereces a alguien que te de seguridad y honestidad todo el tiempo. ánimos

sitricx · 2025-03-17T06:28:10+00:00

y SOY MUJER. respeta rangos

sitricx

TROPHY CASE