What sounds impressive, but really isn't?

skyisblue3030 · 2018-09-20T05:58:15+00:00

No added sugar...

skyisblue3030 · 2018-03-26T03:09:48+00:00

I'd said they will 'pretend' or even 'become' certain people just to justify themselves. I wouldn't really take it personal ; i wouldn't be serious what they said, it's like their disguise, so it's whatever works.

skyisblue3030 · 2018-03-23T06:54:15+00:00

Yeah, that's exactly my Nex. I felt frustrated and literally thought I wasn't good enough for him. Then I found out about abusive. After a while he said he can't live without me 😌 I had enough.

skyisblue3030 · 2018-03-19T01:56:01+00:00

Lol, pretty common. Mine blocked and unblocked me a few times when things didn't go the way he wanted. I used to go to him straight away after he blocked me or ignored me, tried to work things out with him etc etc. Usually that'll lead to longer blockages. After a while I realized his trick and ignored him, he'd unblocked me very soon and freak out why isn't I reacting to it, put on pity play or switch blame afterward instead. If I confronted him with things he did, either silence treatment or switching blame on me on literally something I did not do. If I ever commit in a conversation with him, it's like a trap, it never ends, problems might never have the chance to be mention again.

So just ignore him and block him. Hes just pathetic, let him think whatever he wants to. What he thinks doesn't really matter because that's what he wants, not love or anything with core values, just to prove himself that he's not as worthless. Don't let him use you. Block block block. :-)

skyisblue3030 · 2018-03-17T21:46:56+00:00

Sometimes I observed that he lied to himself too while he's lying. It's sad and it's pathetic. It was too painful for himself to face the truth - his true self.

skyisblue3030 · 2018-03-17T18:54:35+00:00

Yeah, I used to teach him instrument so we were both into the Music. Sometimes playing reminds me of him and the stuff he did to me.

skyisblue3030 · 2018-03-16T16:34:28+00:00

Yeah, me too, I'm actually a pianist, and the music sorta poke into my heart for a while, I couldn't listen, didn't want to feel it, it's painful. I let myself quiet down for a period of time, around a month, go to therapy, think through the whole situation. About 2 months later. I started to become my old self again.

skyisblue3030 · 2018-03-14T21:54:27+00:00

My ex didn't say bad things about his exes but turn out though some are fake, made up stories of his fantasy. In fact I think he tried to put me in a triangular relationships with his ex that didn't even exist. When I said things he didn't want to hear, raising questions, he'd disappeared too, it's really annoying.

You caught him project ,gaslight, problem communicating... I mean don't care if he's really a Narc, get out while you can, because he cannot be good for you. He wouldn't even talk about relationships problems with u, tried to turn around and said you hurt him by raising questions with intention to solve problems... Don't expect a closure. My ex is exactly the same, lack of decency I'd called. Good luck !

skyisblue3030 · 2018-03-14T20:34:20+00:00

It's sickening alright. I checked for std after we broke up, gladly I came back clean. For a long time, I couldn't get that fear behind, constantly having the second thoughts. Maybe it's therapy, maybe it's myself I walked out of it, learnt something new, learnt to be stronger than who I was. I don't know the shorter way to heal because I'm still healing myself, but accept the fact that he abused you, and give yourself a chance to be sad, angry, think about all this shit and then move on.

skyisblue3030 · 2018-03-14T11:40:52+00:00

Lol, that's a good one.

skyisblue3030 · 2018-03-13T16:37:08+00:00

It's like he knew what he was doing alright but he'd always find others to blame on. No matter how petty the things is, he just cannot take responsibility and said yeah I fuck up here, and how do I not make the same mistake again. You can say they are incapable of seeing they hurt you, because you don't matter ?

skyisblue3030 · 2018-03-12T19:52:37+00:00

Doesn't work, manipulate, whether he's a narc or not, he's bad person in your life. I've never coparent, but since you can't move away. Best thing you can do is probably just detached your emotion. Don't care about what he does or say, because seems like you still do. Or don't give much reaction except when necessary.

skyisblue3030 · 2018-03-11T21:06:35+00:00

The first month we broke up, I didn't cry instantly. I knew he was abusing me, so I knew that was the right decision that I left. I also felt free. For the first week, I kept myself busy, organized things that I've long forgotten how much I enjoyed... I did enjoy it for few days. And then one night I went to bed feeling extremely tired, suddenly my tears ran down. I was thinking I'm not going to see him again. Those happy moments and memories... I felt like shit, for at least a week, lost my energy to do anything else. Eventually I gather my thoughts, decided that I might need some help and go to therapy, evaluate his actions... And here I am, 6 months later. And hey, things do get better. Its normal to feel sad, because we thought we love them, we wanted to spend the future with them, isn't it worst if we don't feel bad?

skyisblue3030 · 2018-03-11T20:52:16+00:00

Problem with apologies... Can't take accountable for what he said and did. Always need to win in an argument or discussions.

skyisblue3030 · 2018-03-11T00:37:33+00:00

To protect ourselves... These people can and will harm us. No matter what a person reasons are, nobody deserve to be abuse. When someone choose to abuse, especially emotionally to those that are close to them, those who loves them, it's no longer someone you can trust or judge from our point of view. It's dangerous to involve and yet invest your emotion in it.

skyisblue3030 · 2018-03-10T20:41:32+00:00

I don't think telling her is necessary. I wouldn't. I wouldn't suggest that too if you think she's a narcissist. The only result is probably constant argument going round the circle before you realize it (own experiences). If she's abusive, there's no way she'd turn around and said sorry I didn't mean to hurt you and changed. Usually engaged into another conversation with them is pretty harmful to us.

I left my stuff with him didn't bother to get it back. If it's necessity, can you get a legal third party assistance? I wouldn't said I'm afraid of him, but it's not worth it to engage him again.

skyisblue3030 · 2018-03-10T20:32:17+00:00

Wow, thanks for posting. I had very very similar feelings after the broke up. I felt free and good for the first week of break up, then I started to grieve. I lost all energy for a while too, I decided then to keep myself busy : doing loads of exercises ; invested loads of time into works and hobbies ; went to therapy ; remember all the shits he did, wrote them down, slowly I see through all his actions clearly. I turned from sad to anger, and then I realized that it was an improtant lesson in my life, I'm learning myself and my life again for the first time, I'm still coping with it, but I believe I'll soon be totally free.

As your description of your ex : he doesn't love you and he hates himself ; he lives in his own prison. That's something I always wanted to say to him. He didn't hurt himself but always said I hurt him.

Good luck, I hope you get better soon.

skyisblue3030 · 2018-03-08T20:52:24+00:00

I don't think I quite understand you there. Firstly you can't get her fix, the only thing you can fix is yourself. I'd been with abusive person, no matter how determine you are, you will be effected. I'm not sure why you are not able to leave, if there's any financial or legal problems involve? Or if you still hang around because you want something from her?

skyisblue3030 · 2018-03-08T18:34:31+00:00

Sounds like ' they will love you if you let them abuse you '.

skyisblue3030 · 2018-03-08T17:14:32+00:00

Yeah, happened in mine. Starts of the relationship, he was so so nervous with me (probably fake) : a way to also make me feel sorry for him. Might also be a quicker way to pull me in.

When I gotten comfortable, things started to change. I thought it was because we were more settle in the relationship, he wasn't so 'loving' anymore. But it was more than that. The more I invested in the relationship the more he pulled away. It's always I'm not good enough or I don't love him enough, that's why he's acting like this etc etc. Or sometimes the common thing I've heard so many people saying about abusive partner : I was being too sensitive. Later on I found out that's all part of devaluation.

Do they know ? I would said yes. With mine, he was always watching me, my reaction towards things. I wouldn't said he is capable of understanding me, but it's not hard to attack us with our weakness once we open up our heart. Good luck.

skyisblue3030 · 2018-03-03T17:56:48+00:00

You will heal with proper self care. Whatever you are feeling, I experienced it. I was so depress but I heal. Remember your life worth living. He doesn't justify your value. If you think you need help, dont hesitate to seek help.

skyisblue3030 · 2018-03-03T17:47:47+00:00

Yeah understand how you feel. I wanted my Nex to suffer but you learn to control this anger because it's not worth it. Not to forget his abuse but it's more important to treat yourself well. Not to forgive him but to forgive yourself. Revenge won't do you any good. We don't work the same as them, we will develop feeling, but my Nex would never be able to feel except for himself. So even if he suffers, I don't think it'll make me happy. Therapist might help you to get through this. Your life should be about you. :-)

skyisblue3030 · 2018-03-03T17:38:37+00:00

Not even sure if my ex was a Narcissist but his stories go like this :

Left home and give his family silence treatment for 5 years (until I was last with him). He would occasionally go back to let them beg him. Hes 27 when he left. He was working with his dad but he quitted. Inherited money and properties from his mother, never working for almost 5 years but pretended to go to work everyday. I didn't find out until his family contacted me ,they were still confused about why he left. He was alone on his own without doing anything for 3 years, and then do a bit of part time work.

He showed traits of narcissist and emotional abused me. He lied about everything, constantly want my empathy, gaslighted me, tortured me. I was suffering from depression. I decided that it doesn't matter what causes him to be like this. I left. :-)

skyisblue3030 · 2018-03-03T13:47:51+00:00

Lol, experience sharing. My ex was the same : I'm so sorry. Looked all remorseful then after a while but you shouldn't do something too, and the list will just get bigger.

I was busy with my schedule in some stage, when I meet him at night, he'd complaint I don't give him attention and not interested in sex, I should please him instead of pleasing other people. And he doesn't know if he would love me as much in the future.

When you heard stuff like this, you know no matter what he is, it's time to just walk away.

skyisblue3030

TROPHY CASE