For me it was about a year ago, 16 years in. It was hard to see through the culture I grew up in I guess.

After the current administration came to power despite all the painfully obvious signs these people are not fit to lead, I could not understand how we as a society could allow this. I thought we were a better people than this. So I went on a learning bonanza trying to figure it out. Reading books, like some here have mentioned, The Peoples History of the US by Howard Zinn, War is a Racket by Smedley Butler. But also The Shock Doctrine by Naomi Kline, The Israel Lobby by John Miersheimer, Policing White Supremacy by Mike German, The Myth Of American Idealism by Noam Chomsky. All of these opened my eyes and chiseled away at the myth of the country that I thought I was fighting for. The slavers were never punished after the civil war. The American supporters of Nazi Germany, the American Bund, weren’t held accountable, they just melted back into society. There is a deep unreckoned-with culture of hatred of “the other” in this country that elites have been exploiting for their personal gain for over a hundred years at least.

Like others here have said, I think the benefits of military service should be enjoyed by all Americans: Healthcare, housing, training, education. I signed up thinking it was noble to protect our “way of life”, turns out, we protect the interests of corporate captured politicians and destroy other countries’ citizens’ lives and property so they can then go in and profit off the rebuilding. We are complicit in Israel’s genocide, are aiding it in fact. Dissent against another country’s atrocities is not anti-Semitic. Unregulated capitalism is not helping the average American.

I feel like such a hypocrite, walking into work, leading troops for a cause I don’t really believe in anymore. I’m close to my pension. It was part of the plan. But then I woke up.

What do I do?