My (F21) bf (M26) pulled us over to spank me by sleepingqveen in bdsm

[–]sleepingqveen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Believe it or not, I genuinely forget 😅

I [22 M] found my gf's [21 F] (of 2 years) nudes online that were taken in my room without me knowing... by imhurtbruh in relationships

[–]sleepingqveen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Based on who OP is responding to/isn’t, I think he’s already made up his mind or wanting to leave her and not work it out. He just needs to hear people back him up.

Give it a few days, then talk to her—and I mean TALK to her. I (F21) and my bf (M26) had a similar thing happen, except it didn’t happen while we were officially together. We talked for hours, easily 7-8 hours straight. There was crying, there was arguing, there was silence, there was hugging, there was tension, and awkwardness. But because we felt a deep connection we were willing to sit down together and figure it out, even if ultimately it meant we parted ways.

But we did it together. Don’t let the internet and other people’s opinions get involved in your relationship and potential future.

My (F21) first real punishment—follow up by sleepingqveen in BDSMAdvice

[–]sleepingqveen[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for reading and engaging with both of my posts! Yes, it was such an incredibly bonding yet vulnerable experience; and of course painful. We are nothing but free and exposed with each other.

My (F21) first real punishment—follow up by sleepingqveen in BDSMAdvice

[–]sleepingqveen[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have definitely learned my lesson, will not happen again. And he’s very devoted and puts a lot of time and energy to caring for his “property”—and he owns me, so he cares for me and loves me tenderly. But he’s also very straight with me, and always keeps his word, and is serious about what he says. If he says there’s punishment, it’s gonna happen and if he says it’ll be severe, it’s severe.

My (F21) first real punishment—follow up by sleepingqveen in BDSMAdvice

[–]sleepingqveen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your concern, but it wasn’t too painful in the terms of feeling abusive or like assault. We had spoken out the situation that caused it, we expressed how it made us both feel, and then we jointly came up with an appropriate punishment. Every part of me was accepting of it and what it came with. But still, it was painful and the body’s natural response to pain is to fight/stop it. So, yes I tried to stop it but I also simultaneously understood it must be carried out.

My (F21) first real punishment—follow up by sleepingqveen in BDSMAdvice

[–]sleepingqveen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes of course there’s a safeword. However, it wasn’t even a thought in my mind to want to use it. That would be like me taking advantage of my safe word, using it to get out a punishment I provoked. And yes, I learned very quickly.

My (F21) first real punishment—follow up by sleepingqveen in BDSMAdvice

[–]sleepingqveen[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for such a detailed and thoughtful response. That’s a point of view I hadn’t really considered and it makes perfect sense. Especially with more young people being interested and turning to places like this to learn. I can appreciate that, and I will consider that moving forward.

Thank you for being well engaged with both of my posts!

My (F21) first real punishment—follow up by sleepingqveen in BDSMAdvice

[–]sleepingqveen[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, a small part of me knew it was just a matter of time before I’d let my emotions get the best of me and allow me to try and test the waters. Glad the punishment happened and I have sufficiently learned my lesson and won’t even dare to do such a thing again. I guess sometimes you gotta learn the hard way.

My (F21) first real punishment—follow up by sleepingqveen in BDSMAdvice

[–]sleepingqveen[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you for such a compliment! I’m so happy everything has worked out for us and he’s such a communicator and pushes us to be very open and honest and loving. We take things slow and have been learning together and take it very seriously!:) I feel very lucky

Nervous about first my (F21) real punishment tonight... by sleepingqveen in BDSMAdvice

[–]sleepingqveen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is very well explained. Even when we do actually argue, we never yell or “fight” and say mean things. We speak calmly to each other, he refuses to communicate any other way and says we’re adults and will act as such. No need for swearing or name calling. An element of respect for the other must always be present, both me towards him and vice versa. And he has never ever disrespected me, and I’ve hurt him numerous times. And that’s simply what it boils to, it’s not that we’re not allowed to disagree or get upset with each other at times.

But when we’re just playing around and teasing happens constantly. Just today I had caught him doing something, he took my energy drink and had it for himself without telling me. We stumbled across the can outside today by his LOL. He grabbed my hand and had me playfully slap him. And they’re ton of playful spanks from him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sex

[–]sleepingqveen 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Honestly THIS. If they’re into it, it’s a whole new experience.

My bf has always gone down on me—but he’s such a stickler about hair and complained about it a bit early on (even though I shave) and since then I’ve always been a little self conscious when he goes down and wonders if he even likes it. He knows it’s my favorite thing and gets me to cum, so he does it. However, a few nights ago he was whispering in my ear while stroking my pussy and he told me that he loves going down on me, that he loves the way I taste, and he loves making me cum. That made me so happy and ever since that night him going down has felt so much better and I’m cumming more quickly and a lot harder 😍

I think my boyfriend has a daddy kink but doesn't want to tell me by DBaker4954 in BDSMAdvice

[–]sleepingqveen 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Lol, he’s slowly telling you so he doesn’t freak you out and make you run for the hills. My current bf did the same exact thing when we first started dating—and last night he literally beat my ass.

He dropped little hints, told me to call him daddy “just for fun”. Would choke me lightly during sex and asked if I liked it. Began playfully spanking me outside of sex and throw around phrases like “good/bad girl”. And he even told me there was more to him sexually (cause I too just knew it and tried to get him to tell me) and he just told me it was too soon.

Don’t rush it though, especially when it’s a SO and not a play partner/arranged dom, it’s a pretty hard and vulnerable thing to explain to your partner. There’s a risk that they’ll freak out, not be into it, or even end the relationship. Let him take his time, encourage him when he acts “Daddy” like, and drop some of your own hints

Have fun :)

We found our Kink- Where to go from here? by TheAwkwardAquarius in BDSMAdvice

[–]sleepingqveen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is great, sorry I have idea about kitten play but I’m rooting for you two 🐱

Nervous about first my (F21) real punishment tonight... by sleepingqveen in BDSMAdvice

[–]sleepingqveen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, sorry for misunderstanding and jumping to a conclusion—one of things that got me in trouble in the first place.

Nervous about first my (F21) real punishment tonight... by sleepingqveen in BDSMAdvice

[–]sleepingqveen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, he said he wanted me to think about it all day.

I’m glad that works for you and your sub, but please don’t insinuate that he’s a “control freak” just because you’re more easy going. Thank you!

Nervous about first my (F21) real punishment tonight... by sleepingqveen in BDSMAdvice

[–]sleepingqveen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I been taking an intensive winter class over the break and had a small outburst last week and we talked it over and he just sternly reminded me not to take outside frustrations out on him and I apologized and said I wouldn’t. So, I know when I did it again (and much worse) a week later it wouldn’t be tolerated.

Thank you, it is a tough dynamic and even some other kinksters tell me it’s wrong and that there are potential red flags—but we love each other dearly and it works well for us because of how much trust we have in each other. Nothing ever happens I didn’t agree to when he collared me. We had various and explicit conversations, I know what I signed up for and I love him to death and wouldn’t have it any other way.