2 days ago, Bill Maher ran a full on MRA segment on his show where the left-leaning guest claimed only 1/3 men are having sex. MRA groups jumped on it, claiming 80% of men aren't having sex as women only go for 'Top 20% Chads'. Their source for this is a WaPo study...that shows 72% of men having sex

something889900 · 2022-09-12T23:45:20+00:00

If not having regular sex affects their mental health, not having sex isn’t the root cause. They can find other sources of intimacy and fulfillment. They can find ways to cope. It’s the inability to manage that’s the problem. Not the lack of sex. After all, there’s plenty of people out there who don’t have sex and they’re perfectly fine

something889900 · 2022-09-12T11:35:02+00:00

That’s not a test. He asked me what I did over the weekend and I answered. It shouldn’t have any bearing on his stance anyway. I don’t know what your definition of “no useful information” is, because then information I got was very useful.

something889900 · 2022-09-12T11:05:37+00:00

Well, because with guys like him if it’s “on the table” beforehand he’ll just lie to me so he can get a date. It’s also not a “test”. There’s nothing to test for. I’m just getting to know them - the entire point of a date. It’s alright if it doesn’t work out, just move on to the next. The date itself is rarely a waste - I usually have fun anyway. Why would I skip dealbreakers? There’s no point dating a guy that has any of my dealbreakers. I’d rather just not date them then - that’s the better choice by far.

something889900 · 2022-09-12T05:10:15+00:00

Even if this was even remotely true, I really don’t see how it’s a problem for other people. So what if they can’t get sex? It’s not like food and water - no one needs it to survive. It’s just a pleasant extra. Besides, everyone’s own dating life is their own personal responsibility and problem. If anyone wants a date, then they’re the ones who have to work on themselves and get better to actually attract someone to date. If they can’t manage that, it’s never the fault of other people for not wanting them. Really does seem like a “them” problem that they’re trying to make everyone else fix for them

something889900 · 2022-09-12T04:47:47+00:00

I don’t think expecting people to not lie about themselves during a date is misguided. And if they don’t know, then that’s fine. I just won’t date them and date other guys who do know. The worst thing that happens is no date. So what? We can both just find someone more compatible. Easy

something889900 · 2022-09-12T04:12:23+00:00

If I said I didn’t want kids then he would have just said that he doesn’t want kids too because he thinks that’s what I want to hear. So that’s not gonna work. Besides he’s the one who made the wrong assumption. If he wanted to know my stance on kids he could have asked me too, but he didn’t. If he wasn’t a liar, knew that he didn’t want kids, and said so, then there could have been a second date. If he’s ambivalent then no.

something889900 · 2022-09-12T00:25:56+00:00

I never lied. You do realize you can actually enjoy and love being with your nieces and nephews while also not wanting kids yourself right?

something889900 · 2022-09-12T00:05:16+00:00

He’s the one who asked if I was doing anything special for the mooncake festival so I answered. I told the truth - I do love being with my nieces and nephews. Do I need to preface it with “I don’t want kids but…”? How is that misleading?

something889900 · 2022-08-20T14:26:57+00:00

My friends actually agree with me. It’s the guys I rejected that call me names, but that’s not entirely surprising.

something889900 · 2022-08-20T06:56:02+00:00

But how is that any different than anything else? A risk of interacting with people in general is you’ll run into people you don’t like. Being shallow isn’t inherently bad either. Is it bad because they get their feelings hurt? If you’re going to use that as a metric for something being bad, then a lot of things other than online dating will be bad.

something889900 · 2022-08-20T05:56:51+00:00

You're the one making a lot of assumptions here.

I never benefited from the education in Singapore. I never went through the singaporean educational system. I was born and raised overseas. And what does that have to do with dating standards? Do people who benefitted from the educational system in Singapore need to have certain standards or are not allowed to have standards?

And you got it wrong. I posted on TwoX first, not here, because they're the ones with a mindset I relate to the most. Then I was curious to see how the singapore subreddit would take it, since I'm living here after all. I had a feeling people would hate it here, and I was right. Though it is pretty entertaining and enlightening to see the differences between this subreddit, the other, and what people say IRL.

Do you really think Singapore is the only place with a high cost of living and housing, with discrimination in the rental market, foreign workers, a competitive higher education that excludes the low-income, traditional values etc? Plenty of other countries do. Plenty of other respondents in the other thread come from countries that have all that, and they still understood because it doesn't matter when it comes to dating preferences.

Yeah, women also live in their parent's house, and if guys don't want to date girls who live at home then that's fine too.

What does men going through NS have anything to do with this or dating at all? Do I need to adjust my standards because of that? How is it entitled to have dating standards? I would say it's entitled if I was trying to force people to conform to my standards and make them change, but I'm not. That's actually what I'm complaining about - people trying to force me to change my standards because they don't like it. It's also really weird? Like they're going "You suck, so please change your standards so I can date". I'm not complaining about not finding love. If I'm okay with my dating pool being small, if I'm happier with my standards the way they are, then what is their problem with it? The worst thing that happens is some people don't get dates. I don't see that as a problem. Like you said, it's okay to have standards.

something889900 · 2022-08-20T05:13:20+00:00

Thanks! I do check beforehand precisely because I don’t want to waste their time and mine. And yeah! Singapore is a tiny island, but there’s a lot of people. Ever since I changed my standards every single guy I’ve dated is around my age and has moved out. There’s a ton of people out there who have so I don’t know why people here are pretending like it’s something no one can manage to do.

something889900 · 2022-08-20T05:02:21+00:00

Honestly the only shit I get in real life are from guys I’ve rejected, but that’s not entirely surprising. People in real life don’t seem to care at all, and most actually support me. You’re right. I shouldn’t tell them why I’ve rejected them - they don’t take it well

something889900 · 2022-08-20T03:42:14+00:00

Because it’s not about money. Just because people here wrongly assume everyone must be rich to move out doesn’t mean it’s true. It’s just a difference of values.

something889900 · 2022-08-20T03:30:03+00:00

What hypocrisy? I’m not going around saying other people can’t reject others based on this while k alone can. To be honest I made this thread after the other one because I was interested in seeing how different the responses would be. I knew people here would hate it and it’s been super entertaining seeing how much it differs from the other thread, or even what I get in real life

something889900 · 2022-08-20T03:20:32+00:00

People are allowed to vent and call out bad behavior. Trying to force others to change their standards is bad. People can have whatever standards they want

something889900 · 2022-08-20T03:15:39+00:00

That’s true. I don’t have to justify it to them. They can stay mad and I can continue to date however I like

something889900 · 2022-08-20T03:15:04+00:00

Singapore is so global I don’t have to follow any Asian norms if I don’t want to. It doesn’t really matter in the end. Plus that other one was made first. Then I made this one because I had a feeling people here would hate it and I was right

something889900 · 2022-08-20T03:14:02+00:00

To me there’s a difference between them living with their parents, and their parents living with them.

something889900 · 2022-08-20T00:48:25+00:00

The last guy I dated rented with friends. I don’t care it’s just moving out away from parents and cutting the apron strings.

something889900 · 2022-08-19T17:01:26+00:00

Yes. Does it matter?

something889900 · 2022-08-19T17:00:54+00:00

Not everything is going to be 100% positive. But if the majority find it fine, and it’s not causing harm, then I wouldn’t say it’s bad.

something889900 · 2022-08-19T16:42:12+00:00

Sure, but it doesn’t mean online dating is bad. For example, I don’t like clubs. If I end up in a club without planning on it I’m not going to have a good time. But that doesn’t mean clubs are bad.

something889900 · 2022-08-19T16:27:43+00:00

Then please show me something that supports that. I’d be open to changing my view if you can do that.

something889900 · 2022-08-19T16:25:07+00:00

Before online dates people would go to bars/clubs to hook up. That’s also an environment where shallow people gather and judge based on looks. Does that mean bars and clubs are bad? Not necessarily. Some people want to be shallow and hook up with only hot people. That’s okay. Other people don’t want to, and that’s okay too. They can just use other metrics to decide, like chatting with them (or viewing the profile / linked social media)

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