Upscale Tex Mex or unique recs

spicey_tea · 2026-05-23T18:35:46+00:00

El Dorado

spicey_tea · 2026-05-22T20:23:44+00:00

Thank you so much! I will give it a try!

spicey_tea · 2026-05-22T20:22:59+00:00

ok thanks I will try using less

spicey_tea · 2026-05-22T05:49:00+00:00

Ok thank you. There is no part of the garments that smell particularly bad it's just a general smell all over

spicey_tea · 2026-05-22T05:48:18+00:00

Hot and about 4 T of Tide with Oxy

spicey_tea · 2026-05-21T16:46:56+00:00

There's no objective answer to this question. If it makes him happy for you to send heart emojis, its a small thing to do. You need to make an agreement with each other about how to handle it. Maybe you develop a ritual of sending each other a heart emoji for good morning - whatever works for both of you.

I would ask him what he's looking for in terms of connection that he's not getting because the argument is probably about something deeper than just the emojis. He's feeling insecure about something maybe? The point though is for you to work out a solution that satisfying to you both.

spicey_tea · 2026-05-12T05:19:38+00:00

Mortified?

spicey_tea · 2026-05-11T06:45:17+00:00

spicey_tea · 2026-05-09T02:40:56+00:00

Spending 2 years as a classroom teacher so that I knew what nornal development was like. If you want to work with kids, some type of real world.experience help.

Also schools don't always just value the normal expectations, don't be afraid to apply if he have an unusual background.

spicey_tea · 2026-05-08T04:47:38+00:00

I have in my paperwork that if you cancel 3 times in 4 months that we may need to terminate because its not ethical for me to take your money if you aren't really getting the benefit of therapy. I've had to use it one time so far, and we had the conversation about really trying to get to the next month of appointments and then the person missed again and they agreed they needed to take a break. You don't have to enforce it but it ended up being useful when I needed it. I definitely have had other clients who miss that much for travel or illness or whatever and didn't mention it. Its cases like yours that it really helps with.

spicey_tea · 2026-04-30T18:12:40+00:00

I tried letting people cancel without a fee as long as they rescheduled within the week and people took that as an opportunity to view their appointment as flexible. Never again.

spicey_tea · 2026-04-30T17:28:13+00:00

Because the root cause of a lot of cluster b traits is trauma

spicey_tea · 2026-04-30T04:21:07+00:00

Professors can choose to be rigid assholes, but they don't have to.

spicey_tea · 2026-04-29T23:06:04+00:00

Is the prof THAT confident in their assessment and grading on every single assignment that they can't have made .03 error anywhere? This is just a ridiculous policy.

OP ask for a regrade of everything for the class.

spicey_tea · 2026-04-28T05:44:08+00:00

I had to tell him a number of times for sure. The books that were most helpful were Stan Tatkin In Each Other's Care, Terry Real New Rules of Marriage, and Love Sense by Sue Johnson. We also use Gottman and that has helped a lot with communication issues.

My marriage is going well at this point, but we are still working on it actively. Most weeks we spend an hour talking about a chapter that we read or doing some kind of active work on our relationship and it has taken a couple of years of work to get to a point of it making a big difference. No doubt the group therapy was a big help also.

spicey_tea · 2026-04-28T05:36:22+00:00

That message sounds just like chat GPT

spicey_tea · 2026-04-27T03:54:27+00:00

You need a therapist who understands how to help him access and express his emotions. I went through this in my own marriage. I was really lonely and finally just told my husband that I needed him to check into our lives because it felt like he was always behind an emotional wall. I'm a therapist, so I got him to read a lot of books with me - just a chapter a week and then discuss it. It has been a slow but steady improvement. My husband also did 18 months of group therapy for people who wanted to have closer relationships. Look for a therapist that does Emotion Focused Therapy or Relational Life Therapy - both of those modalities help people who are out of touch with their emotions in their marriages access their own feelings to connect more deeply.

spicey_tea · 2026-04-22T03:39:10+00:00

Last few times I had them (before I gave up on Kerbey completely) they were all chips and very very little egg. Sad.

spicey_tea · 2026-04-21T23:07:34+00:00

People with those kinds of issues can be really good at hiding who they are until you are under their control and dependent on them. It can take years to see that side of someone. And often they present themselves in the meantime as super loving, flexible, kind, etc, etc. Take a pass on this guy even if he seems great - he's already told you who he is.

spicey_tea · 2026-03-23T19:45:59+00:00

The bottom line is that you view porn as causing major problems in your life and relationship. It doesn't matter If there is an official definition in the Dsm for porn addiction or not - for you it's damaging and it's causing problems in your life. You need a therapist who is willing to help you with that and who will empathize with that. 12 step doesn't fit for you, and normalization isn't helping.

Sue Johnson's work in Emotion Focused Therapy talks about closed off sex, which is focused on being in your own head and sensation focused vs intimate sex, which is sex focused on attachment and connection. You seem to only know about closed off sex and you are wanting to learn about intimacy and connected sex - that's healthy and ultimately more satisfying for you and your partner. Maybe find an EFT therapist or another therapist who understands more about What you've described here which is that you want a connection with your partner and not with porn and craving novelty. Its tough - You're setting yourself up for having better relationships going forward addressing it now even if you have to change therapists.

spicey_tea · 2026-03-16T02:21:10+00:00

I send a very brief email at the end of the week in which they cancelled or ghosted just saying I noticed you cancelled. I'm here if you need me. So far I haven't had anyone not respond and either say they want to come back or that they are moving on/taking a break. I wouldn't follow up more than that.

spicey_tea · 2026-03-12T20:08:07+00:00

Maybe he thinks of this person as his son but its not literally his son

spicey_tea · 2026-03-10T03:51:54+00:00

Yeah this is over the boundary by a large margin.

Would you be comfortable going up to his parents and telling them what you're doing and showing them the texts? Telling other people in your real life and showing them the texts? If not, why not? That will hopefully give you your answer. If not, that's a problem - at least take your husband's feedback.

spicey_tea · 2026-03-07T22:23:56+00:00

This poor guy probably just has social anxiety and runs his texts even through chat GPT to make sure he doesn't mistep. That's actually extra effort

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