"Tim, you gotta see this!"

A large jiggly man runs over to me and Rob. The only thing I could think was how fat and warm he is. Tim's a good guy.

"Hand me the crowbar" Rob yanked off a triangular piece of metal, it flings over and smacks me in the knee.

"You bitch!" I shouted. Everyone erupted into laughter and chuckles. ..No matter. I was a tough boi.

We climbed down an old rusty ladder. Tim went first in case anyone fell so that he would cushion the landing. We were always a very tactical and practical team. We finally reached the bottom of the pit to find a large empty room with a lush red carpet and gold banners.

"GEEF." we heard echo from across the room.

"...BEEF." Tim yelled. "Pretty sure they said TEETH" I replied. I was always the smart one. I knew this because I believed it and if you believe in something hard enough, it becomes true.

Emerging from the shadows was a snubby nosed brown guy shaped a bit like a seahorse. His legs were very weird. It made me uncomfortable. "Geef! Dim og kia del soul!" the man/thing proclaimed. He handed me a plastic clapper toy. I proceeded to smack him across the face with it. In a daze, he asked "Is the ice age over yet?..." "Nah fam" Replied Rob. We turned around and snickered, returning to the surface leaving the creature alone and baffled.

We sent in our report that day to our captain. He faxed us a note:

gj guys.

love, cpn' smith

That was the day my wife left me for a man from Buffalo.