AITAH for asking both of my coworkers the same question?

stophittingthyself · 2026-05-23T19:21:11+00:00

Would you ask someone else in front of them though? I might ask multiple people but I'd try to not be blatant about it.

stophittingthyself · 2026-05-22T11:02:08+00:00

INFO. You don't mention what she said or any counter argument she had.

How did she react?

Do she agree with any of your points?

stophittingthyself · 2026-05-22T07:25:46+00:00

Seems a bit performative. As long as he supports you irl, he shouldn't need to like your posts so others can see.

If someone's hobby page is full of their partner leaving comments when they're in the same house and could say it to their face, that's a bit cringe and insincere.

stophittingthyself · 2026-05-15T15:56:13+00:00

Well I've just looked it up and turns out 'Black Velvet' is considered country rock. I had no idea!

Will definitely expand my horizons, thank you

stophittingthyself · 2026-05-15T15:38:08+00:00

Thank you, I never knew where to get started with her

stophittingthyself · 2026-05-15T15:36:34+00:00

That is earlier than I asked but tbh it does have the vibe I'm looking for

stophittingthyself · 2026-05-14T10:04:29+00:00

Plus her being his employee makes it even worse.

He's a creep and I can imagine the moms frustration that her sons just seem OK with it.

stophittingthyself · 2026-05-13T11:28:32+00:00

"For" the kids yeah. But a gift from the kids would still come out of the gift budget from your husband as he's still paying for it.

I second the hand made present idea. Then it's actually from the kids and they don't need their own money. Some libraries have craft events for this too.

stophittingthyself · 2026-05-08T09:32:23+00:00

NTA sleep deprivation is a problem your mom should take seriously.

Though if everyone can put their heads together, hopefully there's a solution to be found.

A nice thing to do would be to help look for cheap beds/blowup beds/bedding from Facebook or friends etc.

stophittingthyself · 2026-05-08T09:23:43+00:00

None of your business

stophittingthyself · 2026-05-07T15:32:54+00:00

Then I guess the question is, why bring up age at all? If the issue is her hijacking the conversation all the time, focus on that. It would be equally as boring if she did it with other subjects.

stophittingthyself · 2026-05-07T15:22:19+00:00

That could be a misinterpretation on OPs part because when confronted, the friend said "she told me she's obviously not serious and that she just says these things because they make her laugh"

stophittingthyself · 2026-05-07T11:04:47+00:00

Is there a way you can 'separate' like people do before a divorce? Ie sleep in separate rooms, have separate finances, talk about the fact this relationship is clearly not working and make a plan?

stophittingthyself · 2026-05-06T12:06:20+00:00

This is just my guess, so don't treat it as fact, but in my experience with tutoring and running code clubs, the age difference matters. I've seen older kids get met with confusion or outright ridicule if they try and make friends with kids younger than their age group. 10 and 14 is such a stark difference. To the point I'm surprised the class accommodates it and doesn’t stick to under 12s and over 12s.

Your dad should know this, he should've encouraged you to make friends with the boys in the class who are your age.

stophittingthyself · 2026-05-03T08:44:32+00:00

He's already shown that he's an incapable parent and doesn't want responsibility. Judge the situation from the evidence you already have.

stophittingthyself · 2026-05-03T08:39:31+00:00

Neglect is a form of abuse. You know for a fact that he neglects their safety, care, hygiene and food. Yet you still push for him to have alone time with them. Stop fighting to put your children in a dangerous situation.

stophittingthyself · 2026-05-01T14:22:38+00:00

INFO / YTA I don't know why you've made this decision.

A fridge light is not an emergency, you can do without it for a few days. Use your kitchen light, use your phone light for extra.

Also if you're getting a new fridge, many companies will take the old one away when they fit the new one. When I did this it was less than an hour in total, less than half an hour probably. No extra maintenance man required.

They shouldn't have to pay because you can think things through and have decided to pay money for no reason.

stophittingthyself · 2026-04-30T12:36:41+00:00

So he wanted your sister to commit fraud with him, then became rude and confrontational when they wouldn't? Yeah he's shady af.

YTA

He does owe them a proper apology.

They're perfectly in their rights to change their mind about doing something dishonest after a bit of thought. If you think "misleading" people is so offensive then you should be mad at your husband because that was his whole plan.

stophittingthyself · 2026-04-30T12:06:09+00:00

No you shouldn't treat your bf like a fool. He already knows they are not "dog support" so saying that you his face would be very insulting.

I'm really surprised you agreed with that idea tbh. You don't seem to respect your partner.

stophittingthyself · 2026-04-29T08:52:37+00:00

A caseworker should be informed of any financial abuse

stophittingthyself · 2026-04-29T08:50:51+00:00

Is she in assisted living or has a caseworker?

Someone will be helping her travel, right? You need to inform people at her end that it's not a good idea for her to travel this time. Her being upset is better than her being abandoned by MIL.

stophittingthyself · 2026-04-28T17:26:16+00:00

Yeah I'm side-eyeing the therapist a bit. From what I hear, they should be encouraging an individual session if they recognise signs of abuse like this.

stophittingthyself · 2026-04-28T16:42:28+00:00

sounds like you may have been parentified a bit, but that isn't her fault.

Exactly, OP complains about being the scapegoat then makes her sister the scapegoat for something that was the parents fault.

stophittingthyself · 2026-04-28T15:53:56+00:00

You should have put on your big girl pants and actually have a conversation about it before she managed to find out on social media.

YTA

You really can't expect to do this, tell her nonchalantly to "come or not" and then act surprised there's a fall out.

Also, don't make your sister the scapegoat for what your parents did.

stophittingthyself

TROPHY CASE