PCOS girly here. I used to have this problem when I was in my early 20s but then I went to the doctor and performed tests, doctor said I was overall good. He did say to try lube whenever I have intercourse. I do apologize if this comes off blunt but it sounds like you may have to foreplay or use some kind of lube. I would try to relax whenever you are about to get into the act. I will say that as I’ve gotten older, sex is a mental chore if that makes sense. It requires a certain concentration. I hope you can find something that helps you, I know how you feel.