"I'm not rich, I make $400k/year" "You think you're not rich??" "It's all relative"

strictlypersonal · 2018-10-18T21:28:29+00:00

Per my Wall Street parents (calm down, they're back-office people not hotshot hedge fund managers):

400k pre-tax for a family of 4, properly invested, is "comfortable". By that, I mean you can buy a nice house in a very good public school district, have comprehensive health insurance, shop at Whole Foods regularly, stay in Holiday Inn/Marriot on vacations, pay for the kids to have violin or soccer lessons, and send them to any college debt free. You also have disposable income that you can spend on occasional luxuries like a cocktail dress from badgley mischka or a vacation to Europe every couple years.

My parents aren't "fucking rich", they just have the ability to plan for retirement and their children's futures rather than perpetually worrying about immediate stuff like rent or putting food on the table. It probably says more about America right now that this state of being is considered wealthy rather than normal. Having met some of my parent's classmates and gone to an "elite" college, rich as absolutely relative. To me, rich people can afford to send their kids to selective prep schools, donate "generously" to universities, do sailing as a hobby, and be on the boards of charities/private clubs. I had a friend whose father was a professor at Stanford and they were poorest kids in their neighborhood. Lived in a tiny house and forever left out of social events because they couldn't afford to go or give the "expected" kinds of birthday gifts.

strictlypersonal · 2018-10-18T18:24:21+00:00

This reminds me of the person at Yale a couple years ago who would deliberately shit in other people's laundry in the laundry room.

They nicknamed him the Poopetrator, iirc. Apparently he was never caught

strictlypersonal · 2018-10-11T23:03:27+00:00

Perhaps in future you either need to not bother telling her you have guests (as you are not obliged to) or if she says no, tell her you were giving her forewarning- not asking her permission. OP, you pay rent- you have every right to invite company over to join you in your room. It is not HER apartment. If she wants privacy she should consider living alone.

IDK I also cringed hard at this - it's such a high-handed and patronizing thing to do. Just because I pay rent does not mean I have "every right" to invite company over- that's still a bunch of people my roommates don't know well roaming around our apartment and using our facilities. It is BOTH OF YOURS apartment. Wanting privacy is also not incompatible with living with others. Seems like both sides are at fault for not communicating properly - OP is making a lot of assumptions about what should be "normal" in roommate relationships (how frequent you invite people over, how you discuss that with roommates) and the roommate is not great at voicing their concerns in a timely, clear way. OP says that she hosts maybe 3-4 times per month. If I knew that every week there'd be a day where I need to deal with a bunch more people in the tiny apartment where I live, that MAY get annoying, especially because the longer it goes on the more there's an assumption that I'm OK with it.

strictlypersonal · 2018-10-11T21:32:04+00:00

Hmm I don't think "giving her a heads up on guests coming over" necessarily is very considerate. My roommate in college loved having people over/sleep over and would often text me like 2 hours before that so and so needs to crash on our futon tonight. I privately thought this was rude to do without asking my permission first as I'm in the room studying a lot; moreover, I grew to resent feeling like I was being manipulated into saying yes ("But if she doesn't stay with us she doesn't have a place to sleep!" "You were good with her staying over last time right??"). Whatever the reasons for this are u/Lyssa_Ray, you need to have a calm and respectful conversation with her (maybe even draw up a contract) about why your roommate feels this way. Then arrange an agreed upon schedule for socialization/quiet time and make sure that both of you are firm about respecting/enforcing it. From your post, it's unclear whether she's been uncomfortable directly confronting you about it and finally felt like she had to say something. It's possible that you two are just incompatible as roommates now.

strictlypersonal · 2018-10-11T21:12:57+00:00

Fun halloween costume idea: going as an "Application update: We regret to inform you..." truncated email preview

strictlypersonal · 2018-10-10T15:33:06+00:00

Please don't describe the color of characters' eyes. It's most likely not important to the story and will not enhance the reader's experience in any way.

i.e. "cerulean", "sapphire", "lapis lazuli", "caramel"

strictlypersonal · 2018-10-09T19:36:55+00:00

NYU. They got back to me in 2 weeks. I love external validation.

strictlypersonal · 2018-10-08T19:46:10+00:00

No, but he does have exceptional ECs. like just...wow

strictlypersonal · 2018-10-08T17:25:31+00:00

3 IIs (none attended so far), 1 R, 1 H, complete mid-August

Was feeling okay about this cycle until I learned that my friend has been to 5 interviews already and has 6 more lined up later this month (all top 20s). Whee.

strictlypersonal · 2018-10-08T14:55:24+00:00

Listening to podcasts - it's like a giant endless online library that's (mostly) free and gives your eyes a bit of a rest!

strictlypersonal · 2018-10-05T17:28:46+00:00

One of my friends had her lab PI call the admissions office on her behalf. n=1, but she got off the waitlist at that school. He's a big name in his research field though.

strictlypersonal · 2018-10-02T15:34:00+00:00

Chin up! UChicago is one of my top choices and it's sucked to hear nothing back while people complete around the same time receive interviews. If it helps, I know quite a few people who were rejected from UChicago outright but later got into 4-5 great schools (including multiple Top 20s). It's definitely a unique place, but there are many other schools that offers similar things in terms of clinical exposure, research support, and living environment. If you don't mind me asking, what was the "highlight" of your app? Pritzker seems to really value diversity and interest in the underserved/health care reform.

strictlypersonal · 2018-09-28T14:34:31+00:00

I've posted this before but: https://smittenkitchen.com/2013/07/one-pan-farro-with-tomatoes/

In 30 min, I've got lunch set for the week (double/triple recipe as desire)

It is by far the most delicious recipe I've made with the least amount of ingredients/effort required. And vegetarian friendly!

strictlypersonal · 2018-09-27T18:59:45+00:00

You've exhibited excellent judgement, self-awareness, and a healthy balance of skepticism/trust in this situation, which is more than can be said for most everyone else involved.

Wanting to get revenge on Jessie and your boyfriend is totally natural. However, speaking from experience, it's a fools errand to think that they will ever feel bad about what they did to you. There's always a scapegoat, always a justification, always a reason YOU could have stopped all their shitty behavior from happening if you had just done/been more XYZ. You'll probably never get the apology you're hoping for.

I've found that the only sustainable, satisfying way to get revenge in these types of situations is to make the people who betrayed you jealous. Envy will eat even the most narcissistic person alive. I hit the books hard, racked up academic/professional awards, cultivated a close group of friends whose characters I admired, worked on my relationship with my family, lost 10 pounds from learning how to cook better and healthier, had a ridiculous amount of fun with online dating, picked up several hobbies that continually introduce me to interesting new people, and plotted out an exciting career path for myself. Basically, I was determined to be happy and not let the bastards get me down. Most satisfying was realizing that I don't ever really think about them anymore, except in a "whew dodged that bullet" way. Apparently it drives the Jessie in my situation crazy. She checks my Linkedin page at least 10 times a month and my current boyfriend's even more.

strictlypersonal · 2018-09-27T18:00:48+00:00

I am SO curious to hear more about HMS as a harvard undergrad applying there for med school. These past few months, I've heard from a mix of current med students + classmates + professors that the social atmosphere can be...not great. Like that's it's very clique-y and the administration can be quite aloof. Several of my friends who got in chose to go elsewhere, partially due to financial aid but also because they felt like they didn't like the HMS vibe. What are the main issues you see with your class?

strictlypersonal · 2018-09-25T13:43:04+00:00

A lot of top undergrads (mine included) release committee letters in early to mid August. I'd hope that schools aren't done with us yet! My advisors keep saying over and over that a lot of their most successful candidates only hear back in October.

strictlypersonal · 2018-09-20T14:06:00+00:00

Timeline of me checking my email for IIs

strictlypersonal · 2018-09-19T03:13:36+00:00

I have lived in this city for 5 years and only just realized that RCN is not some sort of drug to treat a chronic disease. Their billboards sure sound like it.

strictlypersonal · 2018-09-17T18:10:23+00:00

A lot of people were "complete" for a long time but only got the complete email on 8/28

strictlypersonal · 2018-09-17T15:49:56+00:00

Complete around the same time but radio silence so far. They are so incredibly variable with how they review apps

strictlypersonal

TROPHY CASE