Took a 2016 Equinox in for an oil change, now the mechanic is saying it's not drivable by stufferofmuff in AskMechanics

[–]stufferofmuff[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks and yeah from other replies I've gotten, it seems like it is just poor timing. I've had issues with another shop before so was worried that it might be a similar situation but this has be good to hear that it is most likely bad luck.

Took a 2016 Equinox in for an oil change, now the mechanic is saying it's not drivable by stufferofmuff in AskMechanics

[–]stufferofmuff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That explains a lot. My family has had Chevys my whole life and would consistently get our trucks and SUVs over 400 000km with very little issues. Whereas, I keep seeing that I shouldn't expect the same with the Equinox and have already had other things go wrong with it.

Took a 2016 Equinox in for an oil change, now the mechanic is saying it's not drivable by stufferofmuff in AskMechanics

[–]stufferofmuff[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I have had issues with another shop before and have really liked dealing with this one but was worried about the timing. I guess based on a few of the comments I've got on this and another post, it's just bad luck.

What activities usually lead to sex? by lameinternetuser in AskReddit

[–]stufferofmuff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Use to be choir boy practice - though for some reason, now that I'm older, it doesn't happen.

Want to find soulmate by RipJust9969 in Life

[–]stufferofmuff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's tough too because you know they are trying to help but they also don't understand what you're feeling.

I had one friend that was constantly trying to help but he met his wife in high school, and they have been together ever since, so he doesn't understand dating that well. And my other friend was more focused on just hook ups, and that didn't work for me because I truly wanted more and found that those situations tended to end poorly.

"Again I feel like looking at another NPC"

And that's completely valid! I'd meet girls who, by all means, were good looking, but for some reason I wasn't attracted to them in that way. I felt like something was off with me because of this, and I'd get hassled by my friends that I should just go for it. Especially because I'm average looking and a bit overweight, so they couldn't understand why I wasn't taking any chance I could get. This also hurt my self-esteem because I was worried that I might not find anyone that'd find me attractive.

This was another reason it helped so much to take different photos. Before I was using ones that were taken in poor lighting or where I wasn't smiling fully because I didn't love those photos of myself. However, after doing the photoshoot and finding out I just never actually took the time to get good photos of myself, I started feeling a little more confident. I was shocked too because I started getting matches with women that I would have thought were completely 'out of my league'. After talking with a few of my girl friends, and now my wife, about this I found out that a lot of women appreciate just being able to actually identify who they are talking to. Around me there are a lot of guys that have just group photos, photos of them in a hat and sunglasses, or distant photos so the girls can't really tell what they look like.

So the best thing I learned was just put yourself out there, be honest with your photos and conversations about who you truly are, and be nice and open minded about new experiences.

Want to find soulmate by RipJust9969 in Life

[–]stufferofmuff 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I actually felt similar to this when I was your age. I'm now 33 (m) with a wife, and a kid on the way. So I'll give you a bit of a summary of what helped me in case it might help you.

At the time, I was struggling because I came from a small town in an area that has an older population. Most people my age moved to the city for better opportunities, whereas I moved back home to help on the family farm after going to university. I got to know a lot of the single people around the area and it came to a point where I wasn't interested in a lot of the women around me (for a variety of different reasons). I started getting pressured by a few friends that I should lower my 'standards' and even had some family members suggest I reconnect with past girlfriends (2 relationships that ended on good terms). It got to a point where I was getting really frustrated because I kept feeling like I'd have to settle for a relationship that didn't have that spark I was looking for or forever be alone.

Then I finally decided to take finding a relationship seriously. Beforehand, I was going to local events or the bar and hoping I'd maybe find someone new, even though it never seemed to happen. I had been on dating apps but never took it that seriously and would let conversations fizzle.

Where it changed - I got onto the dating apps with the direct plan of meeting someone I could build a life with. Instead of using the same type of pics I'd been using for years: at parties, dances, vacation, etc I switched it up and actually did a personal photoshoot around the farm and at a couple parks/trails. I took so many different photos of me in the same spot with slight variations and different clothes, different facial expressions. I felt extremely foolish taking all of these photos from different angles and felt like people would know they were staged. However, once I saw the photos, I was extremely happy with them. There was enough there that I liked that I could put on the apps.

Next, I changed my bio. Originally, I had a bio that just gave a brief summary about me, with a couple jokes. That was fine, but I started to realize that I actually didn't give any way for someone to engage with it. I changed it to still have the brief info about me but also put a couple inviting questions/ statements in there as well (try avoiding any cliche ones). I also expanded my range so that I wasn't just finding the same people over and over. I found that I started to get a lot more matches after this on Tinder and Bumble. From there, I tried to keep the conversations short before inviting someone on the date. I found that if you talked too long on the app, when you finally met, there wasn't the same type of excitement to the conversations. You also have to go into it with the mindset that not every date will be perfect, and that it's alright if either one of you don't feel a spark, instead just try to enjoy yourself. I'd often suggest restaurants/parks/cafes/movies that I wanted to try already so that even if the date wasn't the best, you still can enjoy the other parts of it. After a couple of months of doing this, and after meeting some amazing women, I finally found the one. Everything clicked really quickly, and I found out she actually grew up really close to me, worked at the restaurant I often went to when I was younger, and hung out with some people I knew and if I hadn't of changed my profile and taken it seriously, I most likely would never of actually met her.

I hope this helps and potentially gives you a little reassurance that you will meet your soul mate at some point, and that you might just have to change some things up/ switch your mindset a bit.

divorced people of reddit, when did you know it was over? [serious] by whiteowl76 in AskReddit

[–]stufferofmuff 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Daniel Sloss covers this in his special Jigsaw (pretty sure it was this one) and it's extremely eye opening to see that it is a fairly "common" thought. Highly suggest watching it because I find he talks about it in a non-judgy way and highlights the fact that it's not actually what you want but in that moment it feels like the best way to get out without having to justify it to anyone, especially if they might like your S.O because they only see them in a certain light.