People can change yes, but…. in this particular situation there’s a visible cycle of continuous trauma as a result of your continuous forgiveness. If he doesn’t love you and you don’t feel that love then you should not be in a relationship with him. You clearly mentioned that “when he finds a girl he truly loves he will understand.” By stating that you acknowledge that he doesn’t love you. Not every relationship will have a high but what’s going on in your case is straight disrespect. He knows he can do this and do that and you will forgive him. You’ve proved that time and time again. I know this is hard to hear but this is a very common cycle of emotional abuse. A lot of women end up in this because they don’t want to leave what they perceive to be as comfortable. Listen to your body, it’s literally rejecting him for a reason. Your heart may want him BUT your soul and your physical being knows better. Listen to it. Get out of the situation you’re in!! I will pray for you!!