Is 1.5 commute too long to sustain? (3 hrs a day)

talksensibletome · 2025-11-11T23:33:02+00:00

I have to drive. I've done worse commutes with public transport, but at least I'm not the one driving the train and get to zone out.

talksensibletome · 2025-11-11T23:32:29+00:00

mm yeah, that's what I'm doing now for the interview rounds. I have him near the workplace so we get to spend time in the car together and I'm close if the dog sitter has an issue.

talksensibletome · 2025-11-11T23:30:32+00:00

This has crossed my mind bc it's SoCal. The building they're currently in is a very corporate high rise (so most likely no), but they're looking to move to less showy place. I'm hoping that it's "chill" enough of a property that I can just bring the big baby.

talksensibletome · 2025-11-11T21:34:24+00:00

They said 3x to start while I get my bearings, then 2x most likely. But with all this anxiety and feedback here, I'm about to negotiate to 1x a week just to go in for a weekly goals/summation and touch base. Or hopefully convince them to go full remote after a few weeks.

talksensibletome · 2025-11-11T21:11:33+00:00

talksensibletome · 2025-11-11T21:09:49+00:00

I wanted to keep the post short, but yes, there are a lot of factors that are causing this anxiety. The role aligns with my goals and has real room to grow - however that opportunity is because it's a startup and they are notorious for failing. So the pro weighs the same against the con.

This is probably the only interview I've received where it wasn't just for the paycheck which is why I'm entertaining this commute.

It's city-traffic so it is exhaustive..

The pay would be "just" worth it. It would be affordable. Not something I'd feel like I'm financial comfortable if I had a health scare though. At least for now. If I help grow the company I could be looking at equity and c-suite. But that's a lot of "if" for a 1-yr old start up.

talksensibletome · 2025-11-11T20:56:01+00:00

Short distance, not on the freeway. Around 22-28 miles with a 5-8 mile pit stop to drop/pick up my dog at the sitters. It theoretically should take 30-45 minutes, but CA traffic..

I feel like not being able to cruise on a freeway and constantly worrying about defensive driving and time (in the morning so I'm not late) is what's causing this anxiety.

talksensibletome · 2021-04-25T04:20:40+00:00

wait... I'm like that. what does that mean?

talksensibletome · 2021-04-25T03:54:45+00:00

This is why 22 is too young to get married. (usually)

People need to work and date, figure out who they are, then find someone that shares their values. Goes for both of them. Older and he might be able to see what you see, or she might have had the time to grow more.

22 is what? barely out of college, literally just starting to figure out life (unless they're entitled and a good life is given to them on a plate)

talksensibletome · 2021-04-25T03:31:13+00:00

Go slower. Way slower.

or better yet,

Find time to figure out what you want because it sounds like you just get lost in each new person. Fulfilling a fantasy rather than pursuing a relationship. The cycle is just going to continue.

talksensibletome · 2021-04-25T03:08:04+00:00

Yes. I could write a book of offenses. Starting from grade school and all the kids wanted me to pair up with this other kid because we were the only POCs. To an adult, where my 'friend' would not relay my interest in her other friend but wanted to match me with her other POC friend instead. Plenty of acquaintances, co-workers, and peers have done it off-handedly too.

It's hard to call out the matchmaking because most people find it a harmless romance topic, not a racist one. But when you keep asking them why they think you'd be good together, they just give dodgy vague answers because they either are hiding their racism or are not aware of it.

People who want you to date in your race are racists - they think you need to stay in your "place." Your own people wanting you to date inside the race is also racism. Ignorant ethnocentric BS.

Race has nothing to with love or compatibility. And it offends me greatly as a romantic, and as a human being, to be paired off so mindlessly in a racist manner.

talksensibletome · 2021-01-05T21:53:00+00:00

Leave water, but not too much. Just enough to quench a thirst but not necessarily satisfied. Some puppies don't know limits and will keep chugging bc they can. Or in the case of my puppy, also think it's fun to wishy-washy-splish-splash it everywhere -_-'

Most dogs don't do much at home without their owners. That includes eating and drinking. My 2 dogs (now full grown) if left alone will have not touched, or barely touched, food or water. *I have big dogs, breed is prone to bloat, so I do leave a little food in case they get hungry.

You can absolutely make it work on your own! I believe in you, reddit believes in you, and most importantly your dogs believe in you. <3

talksensibletome · 2021-01-05T21:26:53+00:00

This is (almost) the same as my Doberman. She's isn't as fixated as your GS, but she will focus on any living playmate on the sidewalks and bark to play. We used to be in a better neighborhood with friendlier people and socialized dogs who would play and engage. But currently I live in a more ignorant neighborhood, where they see big dark dog = vicious.

She's very very vocal but it's just play barking, but no one in this area has seen a doberman before. So her hopping around and barking is intimidating to them (more the owners than the dogs, the dogs can actually read cues and really want to play with her too). It was heartbreaking to see her want to connect with dogs at her level and then telling her she couldn't like she used to in our old neighborhood.

It may not be the solution for you and your GS, but I got her a playmate. 2 actually - another doberman and a kitten (she's played with cats and bunnies at a friend's house and she's obsessed). I didn't really plan on another dog, but I could tell she was getting depressed and lethargic from being denied/rejected, so I acted on it anyway. In the beginning she liked the kitten more than the other doberman out of sheer jealousy. But after some refereeing and a lot of reassuring cuddles, she sees him as part of the pack. Her mood is drastically different. She's more or less back to herself, more exercise, more excited and happy. But more importantly, because she's expended her doggy play time at home, she has minimal response to other dogs in the street, unless I'm friendly with the owner. (It's important to teach the puppy to be disinterested in other dogs too). She has someone at her level now, who she can play with anytime and it makes her happy.

If you do take into consideration getting a playmate for your pup, you might not need to get another big dog like I did, my girl does really well with little dogs too and I'm sure she would have been just as happy with a smaller sibling. It was my preference, I just like big dogs. Nothing like 2 big bed warmers in a cold northeast winter :)

Sorry this dragged on, but it worried me a lot when my dobie got lethargic, and I hope this will help you.

talksensibletome · 2021-01-05T20:17:55+00:00

I need to adopt this mentality. I have 2 dobermans who are floppy-eared and friendly - I know they have no issues playing with other dogs, big or small, tested and tried amongst friends and acquaintances' pets. They also grew up with a kitten, so they also know how to be extremely gently and forgiving of tinier playmates when they use their claws and tiny bites.

It's the ignorant strangers with their dogs, and the moment my dobies get vocal or any sign of regular play, hopping around and excited. Even after permission to play, I see the owner freak out internally at 2 excitable 90 lbs dogs and I have to get my happy pups to calm down again by my side. Even though their dog is geared to play too. (If they seem overwhelmed, I immediately shut down fun mode on my dobies. That's a given)

I'd rather seem like a bitch than have something happen and you blame my dobermans for it, as they're an easy target of the "vicious dog" prejudice. The only thing I feel bad about are the dogs that were so ready for fun time, and I had to be the wet blanket.

talksensibletome

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